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The Truth
Heart clenching.
Breath shortening.
I hear your voice and my hatred boils.
I know its wrong.
I know your human.
But all I see, all I hear.
Is the rage bubbling up inside me.
Threatening to explode.
You hurt me.
You broke my esteem.
As you taunted and mocked me
For all to see.
I wanted revenge.
I wanted you to see.
Just how much pain
Swelled up inside me.
But than it happened.
I saw the truth.
The broken little girl lying on the walk
Huddled in a ball as those she loved
hurled insult after insult down from above.
I saw the truth and it was you.
Tears streaming , bruised and broken.
she gazed up at me wondering, asking
what would I do.
That was the day I realized.
The day I learned that everyday you hit me,
Everyday you made my life hell.
You yourself were going through something similar.
No it doesn't escuse your actions.
Yet as I stood there.
Staring down at this broken little girl
I realized.
My anger had evaporated.
Replaced instead with sadness and love as
My eyes were finally opened,
and I saw you for who you really are.
A Daughter of God in need of love.
Hand outstretched a gentle smile.
That was the day I opened my heart with love and forgiveness, and made a new friend.
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To Be Polite
Hello how are you?
Is a formality we all know.
We hear it everyday, walking down the road.
What's up? They may ask.
Or hello how are you today?
Yet only 1% actually stop for an anwser.
Only 1% actually wait to hear what you have to say.
Why you may ask?
Why do they ask if they don't really want to know?
It's simple really.
They are just being polite.
Its rude to just walk on by without a greeting.
Its scandalous to not ask how they are.
It don't matter if you wait for the anwser.
It don't matter if you brush aside their anwser.
Just as long as you say it.
Just as long as the greeting rolls off your tounque.
You are safe. You are polite.
So long as the words have been spoken aloud you can walk on by ignoring the person further.
Why though?
Why is it considered polite to ask someone a question but not wait for the anwser.
Why is it rude to only say hello without a how are you.
I would think it's more rude to ask someone how are you and ignore the anwser than to just walk on by.
Especially when that person has depression.
It hurts worse then fire.
To be asked that question.
Only to see the asker doesn't really care.
But hey, what do I know I am only a woman, with depression.
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Change
My how things have changed.
It was only 4 years ago that I was walking down the asile,
cap and gown in hand proud as a peacock.
Only 4 years ago when I shook my teachers hands, accepting the diploma, seeing the tears in my parents eyes as I became a woman.
Yet those 4 years. Those measly 1589 days could have been a century with how things have changed.
I remember having home phones on the wall that you could ease drop on your families conversations with.
I remember smearing on makeup in middle school only to scrub it off minutes later because I looked like a clown.
I remember going to school and seeing people actually talk to each other over lunch rather than their little magic black boxes.
I remember parents sending their kids back up stairs when they dared show a little bit of skin.
I remember. A phrase said by the old yet I am only 23.
Oh how things have changed, and not always for the better.
Now instead of looking like a clown with the big makeup. There are little girls prancing around in crop tops and mini skirts and makeup done like a professional.
Instead of talking and swinging around on trees outdoors, kids are laying on their beds texting.
Instead of fears of failing a test kids are worried about where the next shooter will appear.
My how things have changed.
From laughter in the streets, to screams in the halls as they are shot down by their own friends.
Has it really been only 4 years?
Feels more like 100.
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