What You Need to Know
Abduction
Reunions
Apocalypse
Mourning
Awaken
Ability
Communication
Self-Control
Myself
Levitation
Screnac
RGB
Departure
F.T.L.
Wormholes
Kenglowe
Acclimatization
Morning
Learning
Development
Anguish
Waiting
Glimpse
Vision
Schrödinger
News
Impulse
Debris
Quote
Sphere
Venanth-Nepha
Anticlimactic
Plans
Living
Ven
Captives
Captain
Licenced
Meneleo
Hostage
Pregnancy
Virrion
Diplomacy
Self-Control
I cleared my throat and turned so that I could give the doctor my full attention. 
“Should I be nervous?” I asked jokingly.
She relaxed and lowered her body to the ground, “it is always wise to keep a guard up, please, sit.”
She patted the ground next to her with the tip of her tail, so I sat down on the curve of the room, my legs extended in front, feet resting on pillow at the edge of the cushioned floor
“There is no gentle way to tell you the specifics of what has happened to you, so I’ll tell you as simply as I can.  I must also ask you to keep the knowledge between us.”
I nodded and braced myself for whatever bad news was about to come.
“The method and equipment that was used to open your neural link is illegal.  The research behind the expansion of brain function and development of telekinesis in species was considered too high risk.  After many generations of study and experimentation, it was determined that, whilst there were a few successful results, the risk was too high for general application.  Failures resulted in paralysis, loss of brain function, becoming brain dead or death.”
“Jeez,” I started feeling a tad nauseous at the thought, “so it was a long shot that it would work at all?”
“Yes,” she became hesitant.
I tried to put her ease, “please, no matter the truth I want to hear it.  Lies and manipulation are two of the three things that I will absolutely not tolerate.”
“What is the third thing?”
I clenched my teeth a little, “drivers that don’t indicate before they turn.”
Understandably, she looked a little confused, “never mind, it doesn’t really apply any more.”
She took a deep breath, “you were right that it was a long shot.  It was so long in fact that they could not risk only targeting one individual person.  As well as yourself, seventeen-thousand or so other people were sent the activation signal.”
I swallowed hard and barely breathed out my words, “seventeen-thousand?”
“Yes, or, more accurately, seventeen-thousand and thirty-one.  You were the seventeen-thousand and thirty-second human to receive the signal.  It took less than ten lals, that’s more or less minutes, to go from each person to the next before a successful link was established in you.”
“So,” my mouth had completely dried out, forcing me to swallow again before I could continue speaking, “what happened to the others?”
She bowed her head a little, “due to the kind of signal that was sent out, they would all have suffered immediate hemorrhages to the brain and died.”
The shock caused my control to fail completely, the energy that I had been holding in until that point burst violently out of me.
Both the doctor and I were flung in different directions across the room, all of the items within it were hurled against the walls.
I could barely breathe, tears flooded my vision and my heart, it felt as though it were being crushed in a vice.
I landed against the far wall and, sliding down the slope, I curled myself into a ball.
I was aware that Deia had managed to stop herself from colliding with the wall at all, she had even been able to drift harmlessly back to the ground.  Slithering to my side, she stayed low.
“I am sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”  Her voice was filled with concern, something else that the translator picked up was tone and emotion.  I felt a warm yet gentle pressure on my shoulder, she was using the tip of her tail in an attempt to comfort me.
Generally speaking, I get massively uncomfortable when being touched, especially by strangers, however to shrug her off would have been rude by any standards.  That and I did not feel the usual discomfort that usually comes from body contact.
As I calmed down, I came to realize that dispelling the energy had given my own emotions room to breathe.  Understandably I was upset, however, my mind was clear.
I raised my head.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to react that harshly.”  I pulled myself to my knees and shuffled over to the padded section of the room, where I made myself comfortable.  “I do understand that those people were going to die anyway and, if there was no other way, it was done in the search of a way to save at least some people.”
I gave a heavy sigh, “it just feels cruel.  Would they have felt anything?”
Deia settled in front of me, “do you wish me to tell you if they suffered more or less than everyone else?”
I bowed my head, “I know it seems morbid, but I need to know, even if it upsets me.”
“For those, death would have been immediate and it is highly unlikely that any of them felt or were even aware of it.”
I nodded, not feeling any better, however knowing the truth meant that I would not wonder about it.
That sounds rather morbid, allow me to explain.
The way my mind works is that it gets stressed out if it does not understand or know what is or has happened.  It can get to the point where the stress can take a physical toll on my body; headaches, nausea, tremors and massive sleep depravation.
The only way to combat these symptoms is to understand.  To gather as much information and knowledge as possible until it makes sense.  However, being as socially anxious as I am, I quite often end up at a loss.  Therefore, if I find myself in a situation that I am comfortable enough to ask what needs to be asked, I will seize that opportunity.
The conversation and preceding few days, as well as the inviting demeanour of my new doctor, allowed me the ease of confirmation.
“So what happens now?” the fear of another outburst began to grow within me.
“Now I am going to do my best to explain how to channel the emotions through your body.  It will stop the build ups that you have been experiencing so far.  Then you must eat and sleep.  Once you are awake and refreshed, we shall focus on controlling the expelled energy.”
“All right,” I straightened my back,” where do we begin?”
The tips of Deia’s mouth turned up a little.  As her race evolved, they had gained enough flexibility around their mouths to be able to smile.
She tapped my left knee with the tip of her tail, “cross your legs and rest your hands gently on your knees.  I believe that your race has meditation, most species do.  The most effective way of channeling energy through your body is in this position.”
I pulled my feet under me, shifting until I was comfortable enough.  Admittedly, my legs have always been a little too large to properly fold into a crossed-leg sit, school assemblies were a special kind of hell, especially in those narrow skirts.
I relaxed myself, keeping my back straight and my arms lazily leant on top of my legs.
“Close you eyes,” Deia instructed me, “and breathe deeply and slowly.”
I obeyed.
She began to move slowly around the room, her voice calm and moving alongside her.
“Now, I want you to focus on your energy, on any energy within you.  In your mind give it form, a fluid shape, as it moves about.  Feel how it moves, where it moves to, how fast it travels.  For a few moments, I just want you to get to know how that energy feels.”
I cast my thoughts inwards.
I could feel where my emotions were, flowing slowly between my mind, my heart, my stomach and my gut.  To put words to the sensation, it felt like a puddle’s worth of light liquid was moving in the shape of a mobius strip; constantly traveling around my body, in different directions and areas, yet always in a pattern that repeated.  No beginning and no end.
Deia’s voice spoke softly enough that it did not startle me, “do you feel it?”
I bobbed my head in a nod.
“Good.  Do not loose that sensation, keep following the stream that flows through you.  Soon enough, the emotions and energy from all of the people linked with you will make themselves known.  They are always there, however, every time you release the energy, it will be replaced by more, little by little, barely noticeably at first, yet eventually it will overwhelm you and seek a way out.  This is because it stays still.  It joins your own emotional energy, but instead of flowing with yours, it sticks, it slows yours down.  The more of that energy that accumulates, the more it tries to break the metaphorical banks of your stream. 
“You need to learn to turn that energy into the same kind of liquid, give it the same fluidity, move it in the same direction.  In this way you will be able to contain the energy for indefinite amounts of time without the need to expel it.  It will take effort at first, however it will become as natural as breathing, given time.
“Let me know when you begin to feel their emotions building again.”
Again, I bobbed my head up and down.
As much as I was concentrating, I also could not ignore the fact that I was beginning to get a dead leg.
I continued to focus on my energy, yet started to shift as little to relieve the pressure.  A little at a time, I started to tilt to one side.
Deia’s suddenly made a new hissing noise that was not understood by the translator, however it was clearly a laugh.  “You can move if you choose, the meditation position was mostly so that you could locate your energy, now that you know how to focus on it, you can relax.”
My entire body flopped forwards.
I kicked my legs out, wiggled my shoulder blades and twisted my neck in every direction.
Keeping my eyes closed and my breathing steady, I lowered myself onto my back, my knees bent with my arms a short distance from my sides.
Time plodded slowly by yet it was not long before I discovered the intruders in my system.
Like tiny pebbles falling into my stream, they drifted into place and stuck.
“I can feel them,” I spoke, my voice steady yet tired.
“Okay, can you tell what to do?”
“I think so,” I raised my eyebrows, “there’s only one way to find out.”
As each pebble fell, I focused on it, squashing it in my mind as though it were clay, rubbing away at it until it dissolved and dispersed into the stream.  Every one of them was a different size than the last, each was a different feeling, yet good or bad, I added them to the rest.  Some were tough and took a little more effort to get moving, however, with nothing more than intense concentration, I melded them into my stream.
Occasionally, one would start to harden again or slow down as that person’s emotion changed or grew stronger.  A little more focused attention and it rejoined the flow.
Several minutes passed in silence.
“When you feel ready,”  Deia’s voice continued to circle me, “see if you can move and look at me.”
Beginning to feel a little more confident, I cautiously opened my eyes.
I kept my concentration inwards, however it became quite a smooth transition to compartmentalize the effort; like plying with a pen in your pocket. 
I slowly sat up, Deia came smoothly to a stop in front of me, raising her head up enough that our faces were parallel, “how do you feel?”
“Cautious,” my voice came out almost steadily, “but in control.  This is great, thank you.”
She smiled, “don’t thank me, you are incredible.  I did not realize that humans had such refined control over their emotions.”
I blushed.  Compliments, direct or indirect, are something that make me highly uncomfortable, I never know how to react in those situations, so I deflected.  “It varies widely from person to person.  I have been told that I can be very patient and understanding, (in my own opinion, sometimes to a fault) so I am more adept than some at adjusting to new circumstances.”
She nodded, “still, it’s impressive.  In any case, how are you feeling physically?”
I take a moment to take note of my body, “a little wiped out and hungry.  I could also benefit from a trip to the nearest toilets.”
“Not to worry,” a console appeared to my left, “if you press these controls, a hygiene pod will lower from the ceiling.”  She went to the door and, straightening herself up, opened it and spoke to the guard, asking for food to be brought.
She turned back to me, “once the food has arrived, I shall leave you for the time being.  I’ll return when you awaken.  At that time, you will discover that the energy will have built up again.  Do your best to contain it or try to get it back into the flow.  When I arrive, I shall teach you how to channel it and use it to your advantage.”  She pointed at the console, “just type my name into that and it will give you the option to call me.  To get the console up once it’s disappeared, simply tap three times where you want it to appear.  Failing that, knock where the door is and whoever is on duty outside will help you.”
Quite suddenly, the light in the room dipped momentarily, “when that happens,” she explained, “it means that someone is waiting to come in, you can open the door from your console.  Why don’t you give it a go?”
I lent slowly over to the navy blue lit screen, nervous of allowing my control to drop.  It was a rectangle, the size of a small tablet, a low white light under-lit the darker blue making it easier to see.  Across the top were written the words: Oval Room Controls, beneath which was a list of options.  The topmost of these was the command: Open Door.
I tapped it with the pad of my finger and the opening reappeared in the wall.
There was no being, just a rolling tray with a plate which held a few cream coloured cubes.
Fascinated, I watched as the plate appeared to float smoothly off of the trolley, which disappeared back through the gap, allowing the door to close after it.  The plate drifted seamlessly across the room, I raised my hands to hold it and it landed gently upon them.
Deia gave a quiet laugh, I assumed at the look on my face as I gazed at the plate in wonder, and said, “that is pretty much the extent of telekinesis that exists for any races that have it.  My species, the basikor, use the majority of their energy in staying upright so that we can be seen and accepted at the same level as other races.  It is more or less second nature to us.”  She began to move towards the door, “yours, however, are on another level completely.  The possibilities of what you’re capable of are vast and much less limited.”
I raised my eyebrows, concern lacing its way throughout my conscious thought, “that doesn’t really sound like a good thing if I’m honest.”
She smiled, “don’t worry, we will teach you to control it.  If not here, perhaps on Kenglowe.”
“Kenglowe?”
“Yes, it’s a place to go to learn, well, pretty much anything.  However, we shall discuss it once you’re more rested.”
I nodded, rather hesitantly, yet I managed to do it.  “Alright, well then, good n… wait, what do you say before going to sleep?”
“What do you mean?”
“We, than is, humans, we usually say ‘good night’ before sleeping, but there is no different between night and day in space, so what do you say?  Do you say anything at all?”
“I suppose,” she seemed deep in thought for a moment, “it’s usually just, ‘bye’ or ‘see you later’, an informal farewell.”
“Oh, okay,” the solution was simple and obvious, however my anxiety likes to confuse me in those kinds of situations.  “I’ll see you later then.”
“Good night Laura,” she said with a smile, “you shall indeed see me later.”
© Rocky Norton,
книга «The Weight of Our World».
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