Where She Concludes
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It has been a few days after the battle with the intruders. The atmosphere was calm but heavy with an air of gloom. Despite the fact that there were no more attacks from the intruders, that fact only seemed to put the Clàn more on edge.
To put me on edge.
As I swiftly made my way pass the Healer's den and down a slopy hill that led to a well worn path on the East side, thoughts of the attack kept my mind busy.
Although I was a stranger to the Stone Clàn's history of the battles they had fought over the years and how they had dealt with an unknown enemy, I wasn't stupid enough not to realize that it was strange for the intruders to make their move and just back down.
If I weren't on the battlefield that day, I would have believed that the intruders must have surrendered since they made their retreat in defeat.
But, not these kind of intruders.
I could still remember the image of the large, black Wolfé flashing its fang close to my neck. The feel of its warm, putrid breath blowing into my face as I had laid on the ground helplessly at its mercy.
I could never forget its animalistic growls that rendered me paralysed with fear, unable to even make a sound, or the pure and raw intent to kill, the crazed and wild look in its eyes as it had hovered around me.
A shiver ran through my body as my mind flashed back to memories of that dreadful day. The intruder's Wolfés, even their owners, fought with such unyielding brutality that it had almost made the Stone Clàn warriors bulk under their force.
They had fought without any emotion in their eyes or any shred of humanity left in them. Their driving force was bloodlust and the intent to kill more.
For them, the word defeat didn't l exist in their world. Even when their numbers had dwindled, even when they had retreated back into the forest, the feeling of defeat or fear didn't once show on their faces.
The silent promise for retribution burned in their eyes as they had made their retreat slowly and I know without a doubt that they would make do on their promise.
This was probably the reason for the slight unease in the air and the people. It was most definitely the reason why I was anxious.
It was also the reason why Dwanye had been having more meetings with the warriors and Elders of the Clàn.
A twinge of irritation and annoyance reared its ugly head at the way Dwanye had kept me out of the situation. He refused to tell me what was going on for the purpose of protecting me and he was adamant about me offering my help.
He and the Clàn had done so much for me. They accepted me when no one else would and protected me from danger even when they didn't need to. I felt the need to reciprocate back in my own way, to help them any way I could no matter how small it may be but Dwanye blatantly ignored my request.
It was the reason why we had an argument this morning before he practically blew up in my face and stormed out of my den.
My heart squeezed painfully as I remembered the exact words he had said to me.
''How do you expect me to sit back, relax and eat my meals peacefully when there could be a probability of them coming back, Dwanye?''
Dwanye immediately tensed beside me. He stood up and walked to the far end of the den and I frowned at the distance he put between us.
''You do not need to worry yourself over that. Be at ease for they will not come back here ever. You are safe here,'' he replied calmly.
''Bullshit!''
He turned to frown at me. ''What?''
I stood up now to face him with a sudden burst of anger flaring in my gut.
''I said bullshit!'' I snapped at him.
''What's bulsi?'' His face morphed into a frown as he tilted his head in that extremely cute way when he was confused at something. I felt myself being drawn into those beautiful pairs of icy blues and I struggled not to fall into his trap as I held onto the anger.
''Bullshit, meaning that what you're saying is a lie. You don't even believe in that now do you?'' I narrowed my eyes squarely in his direction.
A flash of anger flared in his eyes but he managed to hold it in with a firm clench of his jaw. He took an intimidating step towards me and was about to reply back when I beat him to it.
''Why won't you understand that I want to help you, I want to help the Clàn. Every night you come back looking more tired, frustrated and angry from your meetings and trainings and when I ask, you don't tell me. You refuse to let me help you and you don't open yourself up to me. My heart literally aches whenever you do that, Dwanye. Tell me, do you enjoy my pain?'' I couldn't help the way my words filled with hurt and broke towards the end of my speech.
Even right now, I still hurt at his refusal to open up to me despite baring myself to him, at his ignorance of my feelings on the matter and at his refusal to for him to see me as an equal.
My eyes widened in realization at the truth I was too blind to see. Every inch of my body seized with pain and my heart further crumbled in pain. It cried out in protest to my thoughts and I desperately wanted to believe that it wasn't true.
''Tell me, Dwanye, why won't you let me help?'' My breath caught in my throat as I waited for his reply, praying fervently that he does not say what my mind was thinking.
Guilt clouded his face as he stared into my eyes and immediately looked elsewhere, unable to match my gaze. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides as his whole body thrummed in silent anger. The veins on his pectorals and arms became more prominent as he unconsciously flexed his muscles and his mouth was set in a thin line, unable to move or open up.
Silence and more silence was all I got from his end.
''Tell me Dwanye!'' I cried out with an air of desperation.
''Because you can not do anything to help!'' He roared into my face, unable to hold on to the anger that he had been restraining.
The moment he uttered those words, his expression instantly changed to one of regret. He raised his hands as if to comfort me but I brushed it aside, unable to think through the blind haze of pain and sadness that immediately gripped my heart.
My actions made his face scrunch in pain and he placed his hand on his chest, squeezing it as if it physically hurt him. He took one last look at my face as he slowly stepped back, his face conveyed all the emotions and things he wanted to say but couldn't.
With that he turned and angrily stormed out of my den.
It took me a couple of tears and a whole lot of self-doubt to come to the realization that he was right. I couldn't do anything to help anyone, I couldn't even protect myself not to talk of protecting Dwanye and the others. I was weak.
The tough facade I put in front of everyone was just a front. It was the only way I thought to survive and it was the only weapon I had to defend myself. Now that I no longer had walls built around my heart, now that I finally felt comfortable and at peace with where I was, my true self was shown to all.
I was weak.
Although Dwanye might not have outrightly said it, he thought I was weak.
Even the Clàn thinks me weak and that was why they continually protected me and will continue to do so at the expense of their lives and my heart couldn't bear to think of anyone dying in my place simply because I couldn't defend myself.
But I wasn't strong enough.
It was through my roller-coaster of emotions as I moved from one self-deprecating phase to another, each thought making me wallow in a pool of misery, that an idea came up in my head. It was the perfect solution to my problems and one that would help me help others and protect myself from danger.
I was going to be stronger, I was going to learn to rid my body of all weakness and turn myself into an instrument of war. Now that I had people that I cared about, for the first time in my life, there was something worth fighting for.
As I made my way closer to my destination, the path opened up to a wide stretch of land with grassy fields filled with a small number of antelope as they peacefully grazed the ground. I walked straight ahead to the large den that sat at the centre of it all and out came the person I sought.
Elora stood there with a resolute gaze etched in her blank face as her spiteful blue eyes she stared at me without uttering a single word.
I didn't say a word either and allowed her eyes to assess me from head to toe, not missing the way her lips slightly curled up in a sneer.
It took everything to hold myself from snapping back at her since it wouldn't do so well to be rude to her, not now when I needed her help.
''Are you sure you are ready for this?'' Elora finally spoke, not without her usual dose of haughtiness.
I nodded my head in affirmative. I have never been more sure of anything in my life than I was at this moment. I needed to do this.
For the Clàn.
For Dwanye.
And most especially, for myself.
Elora must have seen the firm resolution in my eyes or maybe it was the determination, because she did something I never thought possible. She smiled a me, a true genuine smile that lit up her face like a Christmas tree.
''Welcome, Tara,''
Remember Elora, the spiteful female warrior who seems to hate Tara from the onset?
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Where She Concludes
I'm so in love with your storiesss I hope u make more!!!!!
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2020-05-06 23:46:38
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