Samurai Sam

Everyone sees him as the loud and flamboyant neighborhood drunk. He’s a tall and very thin older man. His grey hair wraps around his head like an official Afro crown of the elderly. He almost always wears a hat, except for the times when he’s inebriated from drinking Wild Irish Rose. His aged but smooth dark brown skin goes very well with his round bloodshot eyes and his thick dark mustache. It’s never hard to tell when he’s drunk because that’s when he becomes “The Samurai.” His routine is like none other. First he takes a long swig of his bottled drink of choice(the Samurai Juice), and throws it down making a loud crashing sound. And then he yells out to the sky ‘He’s not ready ...Give me the strength to Triumph over my enemies.” He then takes off his shirt exposing is boney  and bare chest to the elements of the day and begins to fight the air like his life depended on it. 

It’s like he’s fanning away flies or doing a strange drunken form of shadow boxing. Hence the name Samuari Sam. If you had a couple of drinks yourself you may have mistaken one of his fights for a well choreographed dance that was poorly executed.


It doesn’t matter what time of day, usually it’s the most unopportune time. When everyone is asleep or during public social gatherings like the occasional family reunion or kids birthday parties. Like clockwork Samuari Sam would put on an amazing show with a beer bottle in one hand and whatever else in the other. Sometimes he uses an imaginary sword and sometimes his weapon of choice is a knife of some kind but lately it’s been his amazing fist of fury. All of his weapons of war are invisible of course. When you happen to witness his uncontrollable drunken contortions it can be quite entertaining. If you’re not from around here you would think that Samurai Sam is a street performer conducting a drunken re-enactment of an Asian ballet. The way he kick his legs and swings his scruffy arms around his frail body, sometimes looks well orchestrated and precise. One time I even heard a bystander say he could have a future in dance if he wasn’t so pissy tipsy all the time. But overall Samurai Sam is a cool dude. Around here you will either love his out of control behavior or you will loathe it. On most days I think it’s admirable to see him move blissfully without any restraints. One day I wish my life could be as full of bliss as his. Then again when I’m sleepy, I just wanna throw something blunt at him.