With the hands in your pockets and the face dipped in the scarf, the warmth of your breath soaked the woolen threads and gave you the appearance of pleasure, for that little breath that escaped condensed in a moment to steam in front of you. Your mental associations transformed that smoke from the cigarette into a crazy desire to smoke another one of them… And it appeared permanently in your brain… It would take only a few moves to enter into you, which would be both devastating and sweet at the same time, letting you penetrate into the immediate calm that the smoking gesture gives you, but you can not, you just can not do that nonsense anymore. You have not smoked for years and you can not give in now, it’s not a good reason to continue pursuing it as a goal, it would be a foolish penance, because if only he could smell it, he’d be angry already. Sometimes you could not believe you ever tried, it’s so admirable. Somehow… In terms of your relationship, you was reckless, the one who tried almost anything, it’s definitely not something to be proud of, but compared to you, Y/H/N is a true saint, and over the years, you became the same for him. It was not he who changed you, you decided that even before your relationship, you wanted to put your head in order and think about your future, and it was nothing but reinforcement and support in this life that you chose. A life that you actually loved, most of the time you did not want to change for the world, but in a few days, like today, you would like to pause, teleport to another part of the world, where nobody knows you and only for Living a day as you wished… For some time you felt tense, you were both tense, arguing about everything, spending less time together and he is always tired, always nervous, you know it’s not you, he had a hard time at work, but you are just exhausted… You both are a couple where there are ups and downs, what is important is that you two can overcome them together and that is your strength, an always open dialogue, a strong empathy and even a fantastic sex. In short, everything would be perfect if that something did not destroy you inwardly, as sometimes for split seconds at the end of every discussion, every breath, every nervous glance, or every wrong answer. You both barely talked to each other last night, he came back tired from work, you too, you ate something in silence and exchanged a few words, then he kept working on his laptop and you layed down in bed to read and you did not dare to ask him anything at all and frankly you did not have the strength to face him, maybe it’s selfish, but sometimes it’s necessary to be that way. These days, when you can not stand the stupid problems of your daily life, you always remember his face, that of your best friend, Daryl. You changed the city and even if you occasionally e-mail, you two have not seen each other for years. You moved away just as you realized that your friendship was more than just friendship and you were scared of being anchored in your life, you wanted to go, you wanted to follow your dreams and it was not considered with all its problems. Every time you write together time seems to have stopped, trust and the ability to understand each other remains your own little secret. The sun is sinking, every ray gets warmer and running in some streets becomes impossible due to the low rays. Arriving near your car, you suddenly got in and even though you understand what your brain was up to, you pretend you did not hear it and tried to get away from those thoughts. You’re sitting in the car thinking of the huge nonsense you’re going to do now. You set the car in motion, set the reverse gear and at that moment you were on your way to your hometown. You tried to convince yourself that you basically do not make a mistake, that your friends are not bad. When you arrive there, you probably will not find anyone. You suddenly get a message that you opened, even though you should not drive, but there was that your partner will not return for dinner, he stays today with a colleague. You felt incredibly happy, because as soon as you read the message, you were very relieved. So you pressed the button to send a voice message, and you informed him that you had gone out with some friends, and stay vague, because probably at the end of the evening, you’ll have him nothing more to say anyway. After almost two hours on the highway and in the fast lane you see the first signs home, to your old city… You’re going to the only pub in the area, famous for the shottini game the owner invented. It has always been a hangout for teens and adults, after all it’s huge with its two floors. You are nervous and decide to find the entrance. A song by Motörhead comes out of the boxes outside the yard. It’s Thursday, so you did not think you would find so many people, it seemed a lot had changed since your last visit. You look around, now and then you see a familiar face, with which you exchange the usual courtesies, but your attention was completely on the search for a single person, whom you could not see. What an idiot, you could send him a text message, but if you had thereby concretized your thoughts, you would probably have understood that what you wanted to do was just nonsense and you had given up. But the truth is that you did not want to give up. You stood in the room and the heat rushed like an invisible wall on your face, the atmosphere is not very different from what you remembered, a huge screen in the middle of the room transmits silent films while rock songs clash without pause follow, the lights are low and colorful lanterns are distributed on all walls. Even the graffiti and the decorative paintings have not changed, only the arrangement of the tables and sofas is different. Despite the cold outside, inside the bar, you saw fewer people, probably because smoking is banned and you saw the owner of the store serve beer and cocktails. Negan has grown old, years have passed, but he is still a handsome man, you’re not sure if he remembers you, so you were careful not to create embarrassing situations. You sit down on a chair and wait for him to turn around. As soon as he was done with his other customers, he came to you and asked you to order, he looked at you as he wiped the counter with a piece of cloth.

“A beer, the best you have.”

“No problem.”

As soon as the sentence ended, he looked right into your face and stopped, turned his head slightly, and arched his back. He studied you.

“Y/N? Is it really you?” 

He scanned every word with his usual approach.

“Hello Negan.”

“Oh hell, baby, I have not seen you for a fucking eternity! How long ago was it?”

“Almost ten years.” 

He whistles to emphasize the considerable amount of time that has passed.

“Fucking shit.”

“I see your noble language has remained the same." 

Negan started to laugh and gave you the beer.

"Please drink it and tell me if you like it.” 

You put your mouth to the glass and took a sip, enjoying the soft, fruity foam, and the honey-flavored amber liquid exploded into your taste buds.

“Hot.”

“I almost missed that word with you.” 

You smiled happily over to him and already felt better, two hours by car could even be worth it.

“Are you looking for him?” 

You felt like you were almost suffocating, calmed down, and looked at him questioningly.

“Whom do you mean?”

“You know exactly who I’m talking about… Daryl…”

“Well, not really, but if so, I’d like to see him."

Negan looked at you sideways.

"He’s in the backyard and smoked, you’re in luck, he’d have to come back soon.”

Your heart started to beat unexpectedly, you tried to control yourself, to show no emotion on your face and just keep drinking your next glasses of alcohol. You can not understand why you’re so excited. He is, or at least he was, your best friend, you all slept in the same bed then, you spent a whole youth together and nothing happened. There is no reason to be ashamed, but your subconscious mind knows why you are here and your moods did not make it any easier. You sipped your beer and tried to distract yourself and not to think about it while you waited and looked at Negan. A gust of wind cooled your face and you noticed that the door had opened behind you, you gripped the glass tighter, heard light footsteps and then the unmistakable smell that you would know everywhere. Cigarettes, those clothes and his favorite aftershave.

“Look, who came to us from the upper floor!"

You looked at Negan for the bullshit he just said and took time to deal with it. You turned around and found yourself in front of Daryl again and looked at him with silent eyes. A moment of surprise ended behind those cold eyes and then disappeared immediately. He wears his usual clothes. Black shirt, the vest with the angel wings, dark, ripped jeans. His hair was shorter again, the last time you had seen each other, they were long, up to his chin, framing his normally sharp, bearded face.

“What the hell are you doing here Y/N?”

“Hello Daryl, how are you, have you lost the last social skills you’ve had in the meantime?”

“I did not expect you…”

“You didn’t have to, I just stopped by here.”

“Okay?”

“Kind of…”

Daryl grunted in agreement and sat down next to you on the counter, turned on the whiskey glass in his hand, that Negan had just given him and looked ahead. You know him, he metabolizes your presence and you just let him be silent… Negan looked at you both as if he were expecting the beginning of a fight from one moment to the next and then he disappeared, but his reaction made no sense, you were not angry with each other, you just have not heard each other for some time and have not seen each other. You were about to open you mouth when he was ahead of you.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, really, I just had to go away…”

He did not say anything but watched you, for the first time in ages you were ashamed of his inquisitive gaze and you looked him in the eye and saw his need to communicate with you without saying anything.

“Drink the beer, we go out, I do not want to talk here.”

You nodded, sipping the rest of the beer, Daryl sipping his drink in one breath and as he waited for you in religious silence, he began tapping the counter with his fingertips and nails. Negan looked at you again…

“It was a pleasure to see you again, baby, visit me more often.”

“Sure and thank you again for the beer.”

You raised your hand, he winked at you and mimed ‘good luck’ with his mouth. And you really think you’ll need it… You followed Daryl and he walked to the parking lot without even waiting for you. This damn attitude annoys you, you know it’s a part of him, but he never behaved like that to you. You two arrived in the parking lot, he turned to you but was still quiet.

“What the hell do you want from me, if you do not want to see me, what’s that all for?”

A corner of his mouth lifted and as he shook his head he pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his leather jacket. You approached slowly, fearful that he would run away like a wild animal, and you put your hand on his arm, walking slowly down until you reached his free fingers. You felt how hard he exhaled.

“I thought you might want to see me again.”

A snort escaped his mouth followed by a mocking giggle.

“Do you think I’m not happy to see you?”

“The way you react, no.”

“I just did not expect it, you surprised me.”

You continued to clutch his warm calloused hand and looked at it.

“Shit, come here…”

Daryl grabbed your neck and threw you into his arms, his warm palm covering your head, the other embracing your body and his nose pressing into your scarf. You took a breath of its smell and slowly withdrew.

“I missed you.”

“Your fault…”

He took a cigarette and lit it, with a vindictive look, with which he first looked at you and then the cigarette.

“Do you want?”

You shook your head.

“No, you know that I stopped.”, you said. “You know… he would be angry.”, you added.

“And you do everything he says?”, Daryl asked.

“Do not be an asshole, you know it’s a lot more complicated.”

He blinked his eyes and inspired you to give in, with a nice pull on the cigarette.

“Damn, then give me one!” 

You took the cigarette from his lips and inhaled slowly, closing your eyes and enjoying that damn taste. You felt that every particle of smoke soiled your mouth, your hair, your clothes and your absurdity. Meanwhile, Daryl took another cigarette and rested on the bonnet of your car. You both looked in silence into the distance. The bar of Negan is located in an area of ​​a shitty environment, industrial, empty and cold, but still with breathtaking views. In front of you two are the lights of various neighboring towns and a natural lake that now looks like a dark, huge black basin.

“Y/N? You look like another person.”

You turned to Daryl and saw him studying your clothes, your hair, every corner of you. Maybe he’s looking for bits of tattered old jeans, safety pins scattered on every piece of clothing, colored hair, and all the stuff you’ve long ago left behind.

“I’m wearing a blouse underneath.”

You raised the parka.

“You have changed.”

“I grew up.”

“No, you have changed.”

“I’m still me, but grown up…”

“I see it, but I have to find out if it’s a good thing or not.”

“It depends on what you mean by good.”

“We will see…”

Daryl is a man who thinks a lot, but before he makes a judgment and says what goes through his head, there are always few references from him and you have always loved that when there was a match. You always felt special by his side.

“Did you leave your boyfriend?”

“Y/H/N… His name is Y/H/N.”

“Why didn’t he come with you?”

“He went out with a couple of colleagues, he needs it, most of the night he does not sleep to find a solution for his clients.”

“How the hell did you get a lawyer?”

“If you choose to know him well then you know that you would love him and then he is your defender, he will do everything possible to make his customers happy, but sometimes it is destructive.”

“You know that you will not be able to regret it for me.”

“I know, it was not my intention.”

Every time you talked about Y/H/N, the air cooled between you felt like you were running on hot coals.

“How is Rick?"

"Don’t you know? He is now the Chief of Police.”

“No? Really?”

“Yes, still a damn cop as a best friend.”

“I know that you rejoice for him, that’s what he always wanted, he was always the most balanced of us.”

“Unless he fought.”

You both burst out laughing and returned to your memories. Rick Grimes was an all-in-one guy, but if he accidentally got mad or someone was against his friends, you’ve already lost. If Rick fought and there was no one to stop him, the attacker landed safely in the hospital.

“Wow my best friend a police chief, I can not believe it.”

Daryl’s stupidity and the disappearance of his smile made you feel kinda uncomfortable, you can not believe that it still annoys him after all these years. Twenty years have passed, Rick and you met in high school, he was a year before you and Daryl, you both fell in love immediately and when he stole your first kiss, he became your first boyfriend and your romance lasted two years. When it was all over, you were friends, all three of you…

“Aren’t you here to find yourself?”

“No…”

“I’m almost afraid to ask you why…”

“I’m here for you Daryl, I just needed a conversation."

You threw the cigarette on the ground and turned to Daryl, he was two paces away from you, the warmth of his body almost crossing your jacket and penetrating your skin.

"Fuck, you can not come out of nowhere and expect everything to be the way it used to be.”

“I know, but… I did it without thinking.”

“You, Y/N, who now pre-programmed everything in your life so that you no longer make a spontaneous decision without having consulted all the saints in the firmament?”

In fact it is strange, it is strange that you are here without warning, without having thought of all the possible consequences, as you always did, even if you deliberately broke the law, you never let yourself go Naivety or madness as you did now, but those pains in your chest have blurred every judgment.

“What’s wrong?"

"Nothing, at least nothing serious, it seems absurd, I just wanted to see my best friend.”

You hide behind confusion, behind a feigned rage. But the drama does not hold Daryl’s gaze and you gave yourself to the openness.

“I miss you terribly Daryl Dixon.”

“Likewise…”

It is little more than a whisper, but it still came out of his mouth and you know how much these words could have cost him. And suddenly he took your hand and went to his motorcycle.

“Hey, where are we going?”

“We’ll go for a ride.”

He was determined and you wanted to ask him questions but knew it was useless and he would probably answer with his usual grunt. After a few minutes you both arrived at his bike, he handed you his helmet and you pulled him up.

“I will drive without.”

“Where are we driving to?”

“Surprise.”

“Surprise? Tell me!”

“Shut up and sit down.”

Daryl sat down first and you climbed behind him, positioning yourself without a mistake and hugging him tight. The bike started up and you realized how much you missed that feeling, the adrenaline was spreading in all your cells, with the full confidence that you were with this man, it let you relax and fully enjoy the ride. In the rearview mirror you could occasionally see his face and his expression. It is pure ecstasy, sharp and loaded, safe and free. After a few minutes on the bike, you both arrived at another outskirts, very close to the lake, but still too high to get there on foot. Daryl stopped in front of a tiny wrought-iron gate, the area was very familiar to you, but you could not see it completely.

“Still nothing? You will understand it soon.”

Daryl unlocked the door and immediately you saw a room with a breathtaking view, the lake stretching in all its beauty. Without asking for permission, you looked around, the house is an open space, not too big, but functional. The walls are covered with posters of vintage horror films, the kitchen area is very small and very messy, the leather sofa is placed in the middle of the room in front of a TV of decent size. But what made you speechless was this huge sash window that leads to a terrace almost as big as the house.

“Is this your home?”

“Yes…”

“It’s beautiful, but how, I mean, wow!”

“That was not the surprise. Come along.”

He took you to the terrace.

“It’s dark, but you should recognize it.”

You tried to sharpen your vision and followed the direction of his finger and no, you could not believe it…

“Is it really the place?”

“Yes.”

“But how did you do it?”

“Hard work.”

You looked carefully where the house was and reminded yourself of the last year together. You were together with your whole group and decided to celebrate on the lake. You, Daryl and Rick climbed the hill that evening you see just at this new house of Daryl, you wanted to enjoy the dawn, tipsy and melancholy, talk about the future, where your dreams were still. One of Daryl’s dreams was to have a house by the lake, with that sight that made him feel at peace with himself. You were so happy for him, after all the shit you all have experienced, he is here, in the house of his dreams.

“I’m so happy for you Daryl!”

Your voice almost strangled and you tried to lighten it to recover, but Daryl has noticed everything now. He did not ask you to stop, he did not try to comfort you, because crying is like a laugh, something normal, natural, that should not be interrupted or denied.

“Will you tell me sooner or later what happened?”

You nodded with your head as the tears stopped falling. You dried them with your palms and tried to smile.

“I did not want to ruin this surprise, it’s all so beautiful and I’m-…”

“You’re happy for me, yes, you already said that.”

“Yes but-…”

“Do not change the subject Y/N.”

Since your distraction did not work and the tears showed no signs of completion, on the contrary, the knot in your throat was swelling, you turned around and pretended to look at the landscape.

“Why are you here?”

Daryl’s voice was hoarse and very deep.

“You know why…”

He sighed. You turned to look at him and he ran a hand through his hair.

“Why now?”

“I don’t know…”

“Are you still with him?”

You nodded again with your head, bit your lip, exhaled, and looked inside for the calm that was not there and probably will not come back.

“I should kick you out and tell you to go home."

"Yeah. You should.”

He clenched his fists and took a firm step towards you, hugged you and slowly turned his face to you. Both of you looked at each other as you never allowed yourselves to look at each other like this… Your breaths met and your lips came together… And enjoyed every moment. Your breath trembled with emotion and not only that, you were horrified but believed him too. What the hell are you both doing here? This is not just a kiss, but an explosion of all the missed love you both could never give yourselves. Of all the words you never wanted to say, the destruction of the last barriers you have built between you two is the most resilient, that of fear, insecurity, and reason. Daryl pushed you against the patio door and did not even leave your lips to catch your breath. The rhythm of your kiss accelerated with each passing moment, hungry for mutual contact. The closer you got the more you wanted each other. He teleported you into a lust of desire that you never thought possible. Suddenly he broke away from you, took your hand and brought your into the house, closed the door and began to kiss your again, while you both took off your jackets. Your bodies came closer and closer and you could feel his warmth. After so many years, your lips touched one another’s lips and not Y/H/N’s, everything is new, every move, every gesture, every sigh. You did not know what to expect and even that, only made you lose in his arms. You could stop yourself, You’re not drunk, you know what you’re doing and it could destroy your whole life, but his smell, his taste intoxicates you so much that you can not formulate a single coherent thought. Daryl held you, got up and went with you to his room. He knelt on the bed above you and made you feel completely crazy. Your heart spun as you kissed him and you felt a smile on his face that had rarely been seen before.

“You’re beautiful.”

Daryl first stared into your eyes, then, he was obviously looking for something, you do not know what and whether he found it or was even scared about it, because he stopped, closed his eyes and put his forehead on yours.

“Kiss me, Daryl.”

“We should stop.”

“Please kiss me.”

“What does this mean for you?”

“It’s everything I ever wanted…”

You grabbed him by the neck and this time you kissed him and enjoyed it. A hoarse sound escaped slowly from his chest and at that moment you knew that you both were about to return to that intimacy. His lips slid down your neck as his hands unbuttoned the shirt you wore. The more your skin became visible, the more his face fell on your body. You unbuttoned your pants and then his, put your hand under his top, his chest was smooth and very hot. Daryl looked at you and whispered…

“I can not stand it anymore.”

Not even you could do it, you longed for this union, as if it depended on your life. It was like a much-anticipated contact. Everything around you two ceased to exist, the world faded, the outer sounds are just memories. The thoughts of living with him are an incentive and the present only revolved around you both at that moment. There were only your screams, your sighs… In these moments, you two did not think of anything else, every action was directed to the pure and absolute enjoyment of yourselves. His addictive eyes stayed with yours, they seem to enjoy it, every groan, every word you whispered. You looked at each other and without the barriers you always set between you two, you both were finally able to see each other, to understand each other, to feel and to explore your souls in complete freedom. As soon as you got rid of his grip you turned the situation upside down, sitting astride him and your lips started kissing whenever they could. Daryl sat up and wrapped you in his whole body. The climax was very close for both of you, your rhythm became faster and faster and your moans filled the room. These indescribable feelings ran through your nerves, slipping into every corner of your body and spreading pure pleasure. A few moments later he was pulsing inside you, letting his head fall back. Why the hell have you missed all these years? The tangle that always scratched your chest melted like snow in the sun. You finally felt free, finally so easy. It was not just about getting a fucking orgasm, it was about feeling pure lust and love to the core of each of your atoms. You were excited, happy and definitely fucked… There was a thought buzzing in your head that you were only realizing now. You did not protect yourselves… The next moment your ecstasy panicked, Daryl immediately noticed your mood change and was alarmed.

“What’s wrong?”

“We did not use a condom.”

“Don’t you take the pill?”

“No…”

He puts his hands on his face and falls back onto the bed, laying you next to his body.

“Don’t worry, tomorrow we will find a solution, now I do not want to think about it.”

He looked at you worriedly.

“Actually… Don’t think about it, do not ruin the moment…”

You did not really want to think about it either. You leaned against Daryl’s warm chest and watched him look up.

“Stop thinking about it.”, you blamed.

“What if you just don’t take it?”

“What did you just say?”

“The pill…”

You lifted your head from his chest to look shocked.

“In what sense?”

He remained silent and smiled, wetting his lips with saliva.

“In what sense Daryl?”, you asked again.

“Let us wait.”

The excitement quickly replaced the place of serenity that had arisen in you through your act of pleasure.

“Daryl…?”

“Lets see what happens.”

“You’re joking, right?”

He stared at you, as serious as ever, and with the awareness of what he had said, it hit you like a slap between the eyes.

“We are two adults, we are old enough, we think about it, we have our jobs, why should it be a problem, we are not even married, our timing seems to be finally right…”

How much you wish that his silent spirit would have stayed that way for the moment, but no, every time something must go wrong between you two. You still looked at him in shock but you knew that he could read you like a damn book.

“Y/N? Are you married…?”

You said nothing and just looked at him. He shook his head and started to laugh.

“Fuck, are you really married?”

You were still staring at him, unable to speak, to reasonably justify everything that has just happened.

“Why don’t I know about it, why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“It was a private ceremony, only the families… Well-…”

“What was that? A late bachelorette party? Fuck!”

“Daryl…”

“No!”

A damn knot huddled in your throat, but you did not want to give in, because what he suggested to you sounded so perfect. He got up angrily, reached for the packet of cigarettes on the bedside table, and left the room. You went after him and did not know what the hell you should do. You looked around and noticed something, a picture frame whose color mingled with the rest of the furniture, you approached and saw a picture of Daryl. He hugged a bright-eyed, Y/H/C girl you did not know somehow, but she looked a lot like you. You held the photo in your hand and looked at it.

“Is it that, what I think it is?”

He was still angry, every look of him was pure fire on your bare skin.

“So I’m not the only one?”

Another mocking laugh came from his chest, he shook his head and ran his free hand through his hair.

“I’m not married.”

“Where is she now?”

“We are not together anymore.”

You approached him, the rage was still there, but he gave you the pack of cigarettes, you took one and he lights it.

“I’m sorry, Daryl.”

He does not answer you, he was hurt and you understood why. At least he suggested you to start a family, and just because it’s you because he loves you, he always loved you and you were always scared of that. But fuck… You loved him, idolatrous. Always. And he knows he does not hate you even though he’s pissed off and yet you could not help but be happy…

“Time hates us, we have never found the right moment for us…”

“Do not blame the time, we make the decisions.”, he replied to you, which meant that the anger was more manageable, even if it was hidden beneath the surface.

“So the debt would be mine?”

“You came here to fuck me, even though you’re married, or am I wrong? Are you still suppressing the feelings between us which were there ten years ago, or did I dream it? I thought first, you were only a shy coward, but now I realize that you are a selfish bitch.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

Ten years ago, he and you were at the party of your friend Abraham, in the days before the fateful date, you had more and more approximated. Your story with Rick had been a few years now, you both felt alone and always wanted to get in touch with each other. That night you shimmered like never before, you slept in the same sleeping bag, hugging each other, making his first right move, kissing your neck, and stroking your body. Although fifteen other people slept in this room, you two began to touch, to fall in love. Your breathless features announced your first kiss, but nothing else happened that evening. After that night you both could not see each other for a variety of reasons, and you received the letter of admission from the university you had been dreaming about. You entered the Faculty of Architecture and new doors opened for your future. You left, but told him you both should maintain your friendship, you did not want a possible relationship to anchor yourself in this city that distracted you from your dream, you did not want to lose yourself in something that could affect the story of your life, your future. You broke his heart. You were cowardly and selfish. Maybe, if you had not been afraid of it, it would have never happened. In these last few hours, You’ve probably built the biggest crap of your life, just to experience a pure and simple perfect moment.

“You’re a bitch, you’re an egotist! Just leave and pretend that this has never happened here!”

You went to the bedroom to get dressed and collect your things, but Daryl reached you in a few quick steps, slammed you against the wall and suddenly entered you. You screamed in surprise, but he grabbed your hips, straightened your hair and pulled it backwards. He had sex with you again and kissed you with all the anger he currently felt. You enjoyed it but cried at the same time because that was probably the last time you see each other… Then everything ended as it started. He walked away and onto the terrace, grabbed one of the many cigarette packs scattered throughout the house, opened the French window, and the cold wind hit you like a fist in the stomach. Your naked body trembled, but you did not move away from there and stared at him. He waited for you to leave, to leave him alone. So you tried to burn his picture in your head for the last time. You went back into the room and got dressed quickly and meanwhile you called a taxi to take you to your car. The taxi will be down in a few minutes, but you can not wait up here with Daryl… So you grabbed a piece of paper and it took only a few seconds to write something on a piece of paper and leave it there. Some tears fell on the sheet and extended a few letters. When you took off the note and left, you slammed the door loud behind you and announced your departure. It is now by night, the neighborhood was dimly lit, you tried to accelerate to reach the main road faster and waited a few minutes and finally saw the lights of the taxi come. Now you finally come back to your car. You looked at the dial of the car radio, which marked 4:10, so you searched your mobile phone in your pocket and you saw three messages from Y/H/N.

2:00 am: “Where are you, I’m back and you’re not there.”

2:15 am: “When are you coming back, why don’t you answer, I’m worried.”

3:00 am: “I’m worried, I called your friends, but they told me you were not with them tonight, what’s up, please call me!"

You burst into tears thinking you had been an unparalleled slut… How did that happen? Your life was actually a dream the way you lived it… But in the last ten years, You’ve rationalized your love for Daryl… You’ve been crazy all those years, since you’ve never made it, Daryl to say that you have always loved him… With trembling fingers, you tried to call Y/H/N, but he did not answer. An angry scream came out of your chest. The terrible thing about this whole story is not how you ruined your life, but how little you thought of the consequences of your actions with Daryl. When you finally got into your car, you just drove in the fast lane while your eyes kept watering. The highway was half deserted, every now and then a lorry passed you by… You never thought that a simple night could make you smoke a cigarette again by yourself. A bitter laugh shook you. If the karma existed, you would probably have crashed, but less than two hours later you were home and parked in front of the house, it was getting dark. When you opened the door everything was quiet, you took a few steps and on the sofa layed your sleeping husband with his mobile phone in his hand. You put your hand over your mouth to hold back a sob and not wake him up. Then you stopped for a moment to decide what to do and in the end you slowly took off your jacket, leaned it on a chair and snuggled beside your husband. His familiar smell penetrated your nose and marked the word 'traitor’ in your mind. You were quiet, breathing slowly… You thought back to your story with Y/H/N, you have always been a great team, you have always overcome your darkest moments very well, you have always been there for each other, he has always been faithful, perhaps too often aloof, until now… You two were so different souls and, in spite of everything, you both managed to become something unique, to smooth out the corners where possible and to change yourselves when needed. Your endless thoughts did not stop until you woke up alone on the couch, stunned, you looked around and no one was there. Hopefully it had all been just a bad nightmare. But suddenly you saw a note.

"When I get back from work, you tell me what the hell happened and don’t call me today, I don’t want to hear you!”

You looked at the piece of paper several times, until you crumpled it and got up, took your coat, left your wallet and without looking at yourself in the mirror. You went to a pharmacy, tried to think of the present, every action you took, looked at the people until it was your turn to buy what you had to buy and went back home. You sit down on the couch and looked at the pill on the table, you should take it right away, the sooner the safer it would be, but you still have not swallowed it and you didn’t know why. It’s time for a decision… You want to go to the office and wait for the moment when Y/H/N wants to be back. It’s been only a few hours since you’ve decided to do it. As you ticked the pencil on the table, your legs did not stop for a moment, and your eyes often wandered to the walls of the house. The doorbell rang suddenly and you tried to calm down. You opened the door, but it was not your husband. The man standing in the front of you was Daryl Dixon. He was now in the house without asking.

“How did you find me?”

“Abraham, he gave me your address.”

You will have to kill your mutual friend…

“What are you doing here?”

He took off his gloves and took a note from his pocket and you immediately recognized the paper. It’s what you left him before you left. He crumpled it up and threw it at you.

“Why do I have to read this nonsense you wrote me?”

“Daryl…”

“Don’t you dare! Let me talk now.”

You were immediately stunned when you looked at him, so you just had to shut up and let him talk. He moved up and down, his usual gait when he was nervous gave you icy glances as he searched for the words he wanted to tell you.

“Sorry, you say you’re going to disappear from my life, that you’ll never see yourself again, that you’ve regretted what you’ve done and probably the biggest mistake in your life, but FUCK. I don’t believe it for a damn second!”

He approached your face and was only two centimeters away from you, his iris pierced you and you were petrified.

“I’ve done a lot of shit in my life, but I refuse to include last night! Fuck… Nothing seemed ever right and this time I will not sit there watching me lose you again!”

Those words rang in your head and his eyes were still anchored to yours, your knees were trembling, your hands were sweaty and your heart… Shit… Your heart went crazy. You were just about to open your mouth when you heard the sound of keys, so you turned to the door and saw your husband, who was still clearly pissed off. As soon as he realized who was standing there, he closed the door behind him in absolute silence and put down his briefcase…

“What the hell is he doing here?”

It’s the first time your husband really showed what he felt towards Daryl, he met him years ago and never wanted to show his jealousy towards your best friend. He was still always friendly and helpful, but you saw it in the looks of his face, which for a brief moment always darkened when you talked about him or mentioned him. And that evening he stood there, looking at him coldly and clenching his fists.

“I repeat… What the hell is he doing here!”

You walked away from Daryl and looked at both of them, the two men of your life and Daryl was the only one you ever really loved… One dark-haired, the other blond, both with icy eyes staring at you, waiting for your final words. You cleared your throat, looked at the package with the still intact pill on the table and knew now what you wanted. You knew immediately that you would throw the pill away and pronounced the words that will change your life forever.

“We need to talk…”