https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2u6AFImn8

^Secret-great-song-you-werent-actually-expecting of the day. (don't ask why these became a thing. It just sort of happened when Wattpad kept deleting my stuff. ((not all the songs will be memes i promise)) -I'll probably also add multiples in some chapters because I'm musically everywhere, although the first link will always be what the chapter title was based on.) just an fyi this is a thing i apparently stuck with till the end of the book, so this is the youtube playlist with all the songs for the chapters: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMyHMjdUnelnBuv8JWXy-UqwPipk2WEne

(Yellow)

[White]

Wade/Peters thoughts

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"I'm just saying Peter, this guy is potentially really dangerous."

"And I'm saying that if he is then I should make sure he doesn't do anything, y'know, illegal." Peter fired back in mild annoyance, trying to keep his voice low in case MJ overheard.

"Peter I'm being serious, this guy is bad news, and if he's in New York then you should just leave him alone, or call Mr. Stark or something." Ned insisted again, sounding more distressed this time.

It wasn't like Peter wasn't aware of the dangers of going to talk to Deadpool. He knew the mercenary was crazy and violent from what Ned had been able to dig up about him, but he also wanted to lay out some ground rules if Deadpool was going to be crashing in Peter's city. And no killing was on the very top of that list.

If Deadpool didn't respect that then Peter had already started brainstorming ideas on how to fight against someone with expertise in the katana-style of fighting and regenerative powers.

"If things go south then I promise you I'll call Mr. Stark, but until I meet this guy personally I don't want to cause anybody any inconvenience." Peter said earnestly, knowing Ned wasn't going to cut him any slack with this one. He was turning 18 soon and the last thing he wanted was for Tony to keep calling him 'kid' and not involving him with anything even remotely dangerous.

Deadpool could maybe be one of those stepping stones to the big kids' table if he played his cards right.

"Just promise me you'll call me at least if you get hospitalised or something. This guy is no joke."

Peter stealthily changed the topic to Star Wars as MJ stepped back into the room holding a huge bowl of popcorn.

The three of them were supposed to getting some of their summer homework done, but after discovering that Ned was the only one who hadn't actually done the homework yet, they had pretty much breezed through studying and decided they could afford to take a break and watch a movie for the rest of the 'study session.'

Although, he was having trouble focusing on just watching the movie and enjoying time with his friends when the same thoughts started rushing through his head.

What would he say to the infamous Deadpool?

It wasn't like he could just walk up to the guy and demand he stop killing people. That would probably not work very well. Should he ask politely? Would a person like Deadpool respond to asking nicely? Or would more.. violent actions need to be taken..?

Peter wasn't exactly fond of the whole violent actions part. This guy had been killing people probably before Peter was even born, which- not going to lie- that scared Peter a little bit.

He'd webbed plenty of people who might've killed somebody before, but nobody as experienced as Deadpool probably was.

Ned had pretty much given him a miniature life summary of the "Merc with the Mouth" this morning and he'd mostly just gotten that Deadpool was insane and a murderer, two things that Peter couldn't and hopefully would never have to relate too.

He also knew that this guy had to be in New-York City for a reason, and that reason was most likely to kill someone. Which Peter wasn't ever going to let happen. He was not a fan of murder, no matter how trigger-happy Karen was.

Peter idly wondered if Deadpool and Karen would be friends, with all the instant kill stuff they both seemed to be interested in.

Focus, Peter.

Right. Keeping Deadpool from not killing people while in NYC.

The first plan of attack is to actually find Deadpool. Then, after that, probably introduce himself and figure out what Deadpool is doing in NYC, and if it is to kill somebody then ask him nicely not to-- and if that doesn't work... call Mr. Stark.

When the movie ended and he and Ned left for Ned's place the thoughts still stayed with Peter. First plan of attack: Get Ned to help with finding Deadpool. If there was anyone who could figure out where Deadpool was, it was Ned.

Who of course was not as eager to find Deadpool.

~*~

"Peter how many times do I have to tell you this is a horrible idea." Ned exclaimed in exasperation, typing a couple different commands into his laptop as Peter sat expectantly at the end of the bed, fully clad in his Spider-Man suit now.

He honestly just wanted to get this over at this point. After all, he had at least one essay he still hadn't started yet, and he couldn't just do homework while an insane mercenary wanders the streets. That would just be irresponsible.

"Found him."

Peter peeked at the laptop, seeing the details of a shabby looking building on the screen.

"I guess it's the place all the civilised criminals go. Supposedly it's a hotspot for all sorts of bad dudes." Ned said with a rather dubious look. Peter knew they had to be thinking the same thing.

This seemed too easy, too good to be true.

A place where all the baddies hung out? Why hadn't the cops busted the place yet? Was a place run by a bunch of criminals actually functional?

"I can't go there in my suit." Peter said with sudden realisation, knowing that the second he did he'd be immediately shot to bits.

"Well, you certainly aren't going as yourself." Ned said in confusion.

"...Right?" Ned asked slowly, obviously seeing the cogs already turning in Peter's head.

"Oh come on dude, I know that look! You can't just go to some crazy bar as Peter Parker! They probably won't even let you in. And if they do it will just be to kidnap you and sell your organs on the black market or something." Ned said with a disapproving look, Peter acknowledging the fact he had a fair point.

"Yeah but I'm not helpless, I am Spider-Man remember." Peter protested, knowing he'd easily be able to out-manoeuvre a couple of thugs if he had too.

"Peter, I really don't like this." Ned whined, Peter, waving off his concern as he pulled on Ned's large black Kirby hoodie over his suit.

"You aren't seriously going to reveal your secret identity to a freakin killer, are you?" Ned said weakly, his voice going higher with each word.

"No, I'm going to say something like Spider-Man sent me, or maybe something like Mr. Stark sent me. I don't know yet." Peter decided, shimmying his jeans on over the suit.

"I guess that could work." Ned admitted hesitantly.

"Everybody already knows Peter Parker and Spider-Man are friends, I don't see why Spider-Man couldn't ask for Peter's help now and again. It isn't like Deadpool is known for killing random people." Peter said, doubting his own words as he said them.

He knew the dangers if Deadpool ever figured out his secret identity. However, all his life he'd been easily overlooked, so what was the big deal if he was out of costume for just one conversation. He was easily forgettable, he could make this work.

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this." Ned said with a shake of his head.

"I'll be fiiiine. I'm just going to talk. No fighting or anything." Peter persisted, hiding his mask and gloves in his backpack while making sure to keep his web shooters well hidden in the hoodie sleeves, just in case.

"Please don't die." Ned said dejectedly, texting him the address of the shady looking place on the computer screen.

"I'm not going to die, that's so dramatic." Peter said with a small nervous laugh, very much hoping that fact would remain true.

He slung his backpack over his shoulder, giving Ned a thumbs up before jumping out the window.

~*~

This was most definitely a bad idea.

If the shady looking guys outside the building had been rather scary, than the guys inside were absolutely terrifying. It was a miracle that the place didn't have one of those weird really buff bouncers or something, but Peter supposed that was more of a club thing that secretly housed mafia members and not a bar thing that secretly housed mercenaries.

Peter supposed that kind of made sense. After all, why would a bunch of super dangerous deadly people need a bouncer anyways?

Focus, Peter!

Right, Deadpool. Find the Deadpool guy and have a civilized chat about murder and the not-benefits of doing it in his-- Spider-Man's city.

He awkwardly made his way towards the actual bar part of the bar, ignoring the people staring at him. Peter didn't think he'd ever been more uncomfortable in his entire life. Well actually-- No, focus, focus, focus.

"Hi." Peter said with what he hoped was a happy smile and not a please-help-me smile.

The bartender stared back at him with a sort of unimpressed and dubious look, which Peter didn't think he deserved as the bartender himself wasn't exactly the biggest and scariest person in here. In fact, Peter was pretty sure this guy would be the least threatening guy in here if it wasn't for Peter himself stealing the spotlight.

"You should probably leave, kid." Came the flat yet sarcastic comment from the guy, who was still just kind of staring at him weirdly.

"Why? Never seen a 15-year-old looking 25-year-old?" Peter piped up, not exactly threatened by the small man and finding it a lot easier to talk to him than anybody else here, not that he'd really tried talking to anyone else.

"Kid, I don't know how you found this hellhole, but I can assure you that nobody will find your body if you don't know what's good for you. Seriously, get out while you still can." The guy said tiredly, pouring shots for the woman next to Peter who already looked like she'd had ten too many.

"I can handle myself just fine thanks. You wouldn't happen to know anybody called Deadpool, would you?" Peter asked hopefully, leaning over the bar a little.

"Deadpool doesn't do charity work. If you want somebody dead then-"

"No! I don't want to er- put out a hit- or whatever you call it. I just want to talk to him." Peter said quickly, regretting every life decision he'd ever made to get to this point in life.

"Okaaay, why do you want to talk to Wade then." The guy said uncertainly, looking like he was trying to gauge just how crazy Peter was by staring at him.

"It's um- private. Top secret." Peter said, keeping an eye out for the black-and-red-clad mercenary. This guy had called Deadpool Wade, so that had to count for something, right? He had to at least know where Deadpool usually goes, right??

"Oh god, don't tell me you're one of those weird drunken flings he does. You are waaay too young to-"

"What?! No! Stop jumping to conclusions! I'm only here because I need to talk to Wade about something important. Life and death important." Peter said, mentally noting that Deadpool was a paedophile as well as an insane murderer. The list just kept growing. Why on earth did he think talking to this guy was a good idea?

"Well, sorry for jumping to conclusions. Not every day some baby-faced kid comes into Hellhouse looking for Wade and then claims it's 'top secret'. Who sent you? The Avengers? S.H.I.E.L.D? That cat lady on 25th?" The guy said with an amount of sarcasm that Peter was actually jealous of.

"Spider-Man sent me." Peter mumbled, looking down at his hands resting on the bar and feeling embarrassed and stupid for thinking he could just waltz in here and immediately talk to Deadpool.

"Spider-Man? What? He didn't have the balls to come here himself?"

"No! He sent me because we're friends and he didn't think Deadpool was a big enough threat to come himself." Peter retorted, knowing he was probably being just a little too defensive about this.

"Who's writing me off as a minor threat?"

Peter had to resist the urge to attach himself to the ceiling as Deadpool himself hopped onto the bar stool next to him. Those katanas looked far more threatening up close.

"Kid says he was sent by Spider-Man to talk to you about some super top secret stuff." The bartender says, not sounding in the least bit like he actually cares about any of this.

"Ooooo Spider-Man? Like as in THE Spidey?" Wade said, turning to Peter with his mask's eyes comically wide.

"Um- yes- he uh-"

"I must say, I'm kind of disappointed I haven't had the chance to ogle that ass in person yet. I mean honestly, you'd think I would've seen the guy by now."

He- Ogl- What? Peter felt himself going red with sheer embarrassment. Why did he put himself in this situation? Why?

Peter was just slightly traumatised.

"I think you broke the kid." The bartender said, not hiding the fact he was still listening in on their conversation while he cleaned shot-glasses.

"How old are you anyway, kid? You look way too young to be in a rowdy place like this with all us big scary adults." Wade snickered, resting one elbow on the bar and letting his chin rest on his hand, mask eyes strangely expressive. Peter wished he had that same expressive quality for his suit. Did Wade have an eye-tracking mechanism for his suit? Some sort of sensor that traced facial expression- Dang it Peter focus!

"I'm 18." Peter said quickly. White lies right? He was almost 18 anyways.

"Really I was thinking you looked more like 13 or maybe 11. What's Spider-Man doing sending a kid to do his work for him." Wade asked tilting his head slightly in a questioning manner.

"Um, well- He was busy- so I offered- Anyway! Spider-Man says that he doesn't want you killing anyone while you're in New York." Peter said, trying not to go bright red in embarrassment again as the bartender gave a low whistle of surprise.

"That's a big demand. And to send a kid to deliver that message to Wade of all people." the bartender said, sounding more invested in the conversation now that there was a possibility Deadpool was going to murder some random kid.

However, he wasn't dead yet, so, maybe he was getting his point across?

"Those are his terms. No killing. At all. Even the really bad ones." Peter said, growing a little more confident now that he hadn't been sliced in half or anything upon first delivering his message.

"Look, baby-boy, I don't know if you know me or not, but the whole 'killing' thing is literally in the name." Wade said, not looking to be brought down from his happy mood.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But you can't just kill people because they're bad. Spider-Man hates that." Peter said defiantly, holding his ground in this argument. If Wade was such a Spider-Man fan then he would just have to use that against him.

"You're quite the stubborn little bugger aren't you." Wade joked, only serving to set Peter off even more.

"I'm serious Wade. No killing. At. All." Peter said with a pointed look, crossing his arms in what he hoped was an intimidating gesture and not a childish-looking one.

"Hmmm, what if they're a pedo? Can I kill those ones?" Wade said smugly, seeming to only be baited by Peter's defiance.

Peter held back a retort about Wade killing himself if that was his definition of killable people and instead went with a curt "No."

"So what, just tie em up? Leave the kiddie diddlers for the cops in some alleyway? I don't exactly have any convenient webs here, short-stuff." Wade said with what Peter couldn't decipher between genuine confusion or sarcasm.

"You call the cops." Peter ground out, hating the way Wade was making him feel like such a clueless kid. He knew all about the bad sorts of guys he webbed and sent straight to the cops, he knew okay?! But their actions still didn't mean they should be killed. Everyone could change and everyone deserved a second chance.

Even the mugger who killed uncle Ben?

Peter clenched his teeth at the thought, still not fully over that. He didn't think he ever would be. But they still deserved a fair trial. A fair chance to change.

"No. Killing." He stated, making sure to pronounce both words with extra emphasis, although whether it was to get it through Wade's skull or his own, he wasn't quite sure.

"Yeah, yeah. You're starting to sound like a broken record there- What's your name again?" Wade asked, cutting himself off as Peter debated whether or not he should just freely give his name out to a mercenary.

"None of your business." He said haughtily, noting his poor choice of words. Because he reaaaaally hoped Deadpool didn't make it his business. As in the killing business.

"Is that first name Noneof and last name Yourbusiness? That must've been very confusing for your teachers the first day of school." Wade said, completely ignoring the rather hostile tone of voice Peter had used.

"Better than Deadpool." He snapped back, inwardly cursing himself for trying to pick a playground fight with a very well trained mercenary with a very impressive kill count.

"I like you, you're fun." Wade said, booping Peter on the nose- or at least trying to. The hair-raising feeling that Ned had dubbed the 'Spidey-senses' was enough to make Peter quickly lean back, away from the offending finger.

"And speedy! Damn baby-boy you're the whole package." He joked, dropping his hand and letting Peter readjust to sitting normally.

Which did not last long at all, because the next thing Peter knew, he was ducking so fast he barely had time to even process the feeling tingling up his spine-- a beer bottle flying over his head to instead hit the bartender, who was immediately out cold.

"Damn it Jo! You knocked Weasel out!" Wade yelled, Peter shaking just slightly at the terrifying realisation that he'd almost been hit by a beer bottle flying at lightning speeds. This place was going to kill him.

"Um. So it's a school night-" No it wasn't, it was summer break. "-I mean- so I gotta-" Peter stuttered out, quickly standing and keeping an eye on the almost brawl that was going on over by the pool tables.

"Aw! But we were just getting to know each other!" Wade said in mock-disappointment, somehow managing to get across the fact he was pouting without even doing anything.

Seriously, Peter wanted that kind of expressiveness from his own mask. He'd have to see what he could do about that later. I should try making my own prototype suit. Focussssss.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you got the message. So my job is done." Peter said quickly, already competing with the angry yells from the guys currently wrestling on the pool tab- on the floor.

"See you around sweetcheeks!" Was the last thing Peter heard as he escaped the building, praying to whatever deity above would listen that he wouldn't ever see the mercenary again.

Looking back, Peter was pretty sure those deities hated him.