(Sometimes its not just about missing someone, its wondering if they are missing you too. ).........




     Today I've got to see the Dean before attending my physics lecture.......

     Walking down the corridor I could feel all eyes on me....     People whispering, throwing nasty and hurtful comments again....

     "Ah..... Give way....''

  "Here comes death.....".

"I heard if you call out his name you'll die instantly...."

  "Don't touch him or you'll turn to ash..."

    Just like everyday, I put on a blank face walking down the Dean's office..

    Opening and closing the door I try to greet him.... 
Just then, he grabbed my neck tightly tossing me like a sack of potatoes into the glass towards the end of his office...

     Making my head hit the hard cold surface..

     "You brat!! I took you under my wings when no-one would.... and how did you repay me?"......

     He yelled at me, casting a painful spell that bend me in half...    

     I screamed painfully.... "W-what have I done?"......i manage to spit out, ignoring my dark side that wanted to claw out... 

     "Are you out of your mind?..."----- He said through gritted teeth....

     "I saw you in my vision with the new prince".... "
Atticus Ross..." "What did you talked about? Or you want him to get killed like all those other people who you had come across with....." 


    My eyes watered in an instant but I refuse to let the tears rolls down my cheeks... I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me broken......

   "It was an accident"... 'I had never planned it..."---- I said slowly but he just made way to his chair  sitting down....

      Probably exhausted from beating me..  Am glad he doesn't know what me and Atticus talked about....  

     I grew tired of waiting for him to say anything.... I left his office with a stiff bow... The  earlier  beating forgotten....

      one privilege of having this curse is no one dare punish me for coming an hour late to lectures although it's not like they can see me.....

     But the werewolves and vampires could probably pick up my sound.... 

      Watching Mrs Deccan teaching physics was torture, my brain couldn't register anything she said....

       I scanned the students in her class to the popular jocks, cheerleaders, the academy slut to the nerds..

      But I couldn't find the one person I wanted to see.... Atticus..... Guess he wasn't offering this course.....  Just as my eyes starts to drop... 

     "You're late, young man!" .....----Mrs Deccan ringing voice snap me back to reality.... 

         "So?"

That voice... I snapped my head to his direction... His face was blank and expressionless...

     You could see the girls drooling over him and the guys looking up to him in admiration, wanting to be him.....


      "So? So? Mr Ross you're an hour late, I expect you to apologize and acknowledged you----

     but Atticus was already halfway in the class ignoring her.... He made his seat at the last end since it was empty....


       Mrs Deccan saw she wasn't going to win... Stomping her foot and continuing with her lectures ..... 

     During the lectures, Atticus turn around facing the glass, looking straight at me..... Smirking....

     He couldn't possibly see me... Can he?.... He was chanting inaudibly....

   "Hey there"..... ---I turn to find him by my side again... Smiling his million dollars smile...     When I look back I saw a second Atticus...

     He was there sitting... Existing.... The idiot cast a clone spell.... 

  "Uh.... Nice... But shouldn't you be in your class?" I asked biting my lower lip...

    His eyes follow my movement suddenly his eyes darken...... My breathing hitched....

    "I am in class..." 

   "I meant there, not here... Plus you shouldn't be this close to me..."    

    I felt a caress on my scalp.... My body stiffened..... 

  ("I remembered the word he said when he was massaging my scalps...." )  

   "You're really beautiful, you know?"

      ("It was the first time someone had called me beautiful instead of monster...." )

     I could feel tears burned my vision.... The next thing I know... I was crying and hiccuping.... 

    "Am sorry... I didn't mean to upset you...''  After I've calmed down, wiping my tears....

    "No no you didn't... It's just the first time someone called me beautiful..... Instead of monster....".

     He hug me.... I froze for a second... Just a second.... Enjoying this new feeling.. No-one has ever hug me before...

      He didn't... He didn't turn to ash....  I hug him back tightly.... Tearing up again.....

     ("They say when you hug someone and they hug you back tightly.... That's love....  Am not afraid to say that am starting to fall in love with Atticus Ross...")

   "Hey... Won't you at least tell me your name?.. Am tired of saying hey all the time...'' 

    With deep breath... "Am Alastair..... Alastair Reynolds...."  'Alastair"..... "Alastair''....

     Hearing my name from him caused butterflies in my tummy.. ... I nestled my face deeper into his neck....

     He smelled of earth and vanilla.... Manly and sweet.... Like home.....

     "Alastair Reynolds... Well I think you're beautiful.... There's something about you that draws me closer...."  

     My cheeks burned at his comment...  He chuckled, looking deep into my eyes...

     (The next word he said ,made my heart jump)........... 

    Don't worry baby, Am gonna destroy you in the best possible way, when I leave, you'll understand why God never wanted you to meet anyone till you met me.......

   but don't worry am never leaving you..."
    '' I'll make sure you never cry ever again... Alastair..."

       I didn't interrupt... Didn't point out that we just met or we don't know each other.... 

    I didn't voice out that we could never see each other....  That death could kill me...

    If I resist too much.... Instead I hug him again.... Savouring this feeling of having someone close to me....

    (He said he'll never leave, that I would never cry.... But the promise was broken... I don't remember who did it first..... Me or him...)