“Hey, but you said you’re going for a walk with us today!” - Anya was indignant, frowning. The gazes of other friends, full of indignation as well, with whom I stood together at the entrance to the university and smoked, were directed at me. Realizing that the guys need an explanation why I changed my mind, I took a drag, exhaled smoke and only then answered: "Yes, but I have other plans ...". Not having time to finish, Julia interrupted me: “What other plans?! What could be more important than what we have already planned for the evening?" I sighed. In fact, I had no other plans, I just lost the mood to go somewhere. But not because I was tired of communicating with my friends, but because I wanted to be alone. Sometimes I had such a mood when I just wanted to lock myself in a room alone with my thoughts, draw, watch films or read a book, as my mind gets tired of reality and the problems that it throws at me, so I need to run away from this reality, at least for the evening, in order to resist it with renewed vigor. Today was just such a day... However, I did not want to lie to the guys, so I answered honestly: “No, there are no plans, just the mood is not at all the same…”. Julia, poking discontentedly, rolled her eyes, and Anya asked worriedly: “Why? Did something happen?" I shook my head and said, "Trivia, just small problems." “Well, tell us! - Anya said sternly - And don't you dare deny it! You won't just bounce off!” The guys looked at me and nodded, making it clear that I should not argue with her. I puffed on the tobacco smoke again. I did not like to share my experiences and problems with others, neither friends or relatives, as I believed that the difficulties that arose on my way were personally mine and only I needed to deal with them. But knowing that the guys, who did not allow me to keep my experiences to myself (since in their opinion this only makes it worse), I had no other choice but to tell them about what was going on in my head. “The thing is…” I began, exhaling a stream of smoke from my lungs, “I'm worried about the exams. I have absolutely no time to prepare for them because of the work, and very little remains of it. But I can't quit my job, I really need money, but I mustn't forget about my studies either... I don't understand how I should be in this situation.” Friends all this time looked at me point-blank and this made me uncomfortable. Danya, who until now stood and was silent, came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder and quietly said: “Dear, listen. We are aware that now you have no other options but to combine work and study. But do you remember that you have friends who can help you? " I winced in my head. More than expressing my thoughts, I disliked asking someone for help. Why do I need it if I can deal with my problems myself anyway? I just need to understand how to do it... "Yes, but..." - I wanted to answer, but Danya got ahead of me: "Listen carefully. We have a lot of recorded information and notes, which we will be happy to share with you. Just when you have a free minute, read them and learn the material. Thus, you will have a high probability that you will prepare and pass everything." Having finished explaining to me the solution to my problem, Danya looked at the girls and, smiling, asked them: "Isn't that right, ladies?" They nodded in unison and Anya added with a smile: "Just don't be shy, and everything will be great." "Good, thank you." - I said with a weak smile in response. The bell rang, signaling that it was time for the students to return to their classes. “Well, let's go? Now we have English. " - said Danya, and together we began to climb the stairs to the entrance to the building...

After an hour and a half, the classes ended and the students went their separate ways: someone was driving home, someone had to go to work, and someone gathered in groups and went to a cafe together. The guys and I walked to the subway. Danya, Julia and Anya were having fun discussing something while I was immersed in my thoughts. The weather outside was cloudy and cool, which made thoughts even heavier. It would seem that there was no particular difficulty in my situation, but still it seemed to scrape me from the inside. Various options and more or less adequate solutions were scrolling through my head, but, alas, I did not make a better conclusion as at least for a while to try to forget about it. “Okay, something will come out of it. Plus, if the guys really help, then...” My thoughts were interrupted by a light blow to the shoulder. It was Julia. "Hey, what are you doing?" - I asked the girl in bewilderment, rubbing the place of impact. “This is for you to stop walking with such a sad face. Otherwise, you can turn sour! " - she answered with a grin. “Indeed, keep your chin up! - Danya supported - You look too pitiful." "Okay, okay, I get it... I'll try not to think about it." - raising both hands in the air, as if giving up, I said. You certainly won't be sad with these guys, they are always energetic and positive. Which, by the way, I have been missing lately. By that time, we had already reached the entrance to the subway, but before we left, we took out cigarettes and lit them, starting a new conversation. When everyone had finished, I was the first to say goodbye, remembering that at home there was almost a ready dinner waiting for me. Finally, Anya threatened me that at exactly seven in the evening I must be at the meeting place. Saluting her like a soldier, I turned around and went down the steps in the metro, while putting on a mask and headphones...

While I was on the train and listening to music, I looked at the people around. I have always enjoyed doing this because each of them had special traits and behaviors. But most of all I loved watching the expressions on their faces. This says a lot about the person. Someone was calm or, on the contrary, worried about something, someone was reading a book with concentration or thoughtlessly stuck on a smartphone screen. And someone just sat pensively and looked in front of them at one point. And by looking at people, I assumed different situations that made their faces take certain expressions. For example: a girl that is sitting opposite me and is typing something briskly on the phone and I think that, they say, she is texting with her friend, telling her some interesting news. And next to her sits a middle-aged man and covers his eyes dozing, swaying to the beat of the passing train. He looks rather tired and I think he works very hard to feed his family... Previously, it was much easier to imagine, since people's faces were open, but now, due to the pandemic, everyone wore medical masks that covered half of their faces and only by their eyes could one understand what people were feeling at the moment. Because of this, I lost any interest in such observations and I concentratedly chose the next song on my phone that I would like...

Twenty minutes later, the train arrived at the station I needed, and leaving the carriage, I headed for the exit to the surface. It was raining on the street. People still went about their business with umbrellas in their hands, protecting themselves from the drops. And I did not like umbrellas, it seemed to me that they only took up space in the bag and carrying them in my hand was unnecessary for me. Therefore, I put a hood on my head, and thrusting my hands into my pockets, I slowly walked towards my apartment, bypassing the puddles that had formed little by little.

Ten minutes later, I was already on the doorstep of the apartment, shaking drops from my jacket. There was a pleasant smell of food coming from the kitchen. From there, the father's voice sounded: “Hello, son! Are you back already?" Having answered yes to his question, I took off my jacket, hung it on a hook, then sat down on a chair and began to take off my shoes. They were soaking wet. “Hmm… I should have put on something tighter,” I thought, looking at the water dripping from my sock. Taking them off my feet and throwing them in the direction of my room, I put my shoes down to dry, and I myself went to change. While I was changing clothes from street to home, my father appeared at the doorstep, and wiping his hands with a kitchen towel asked: “Well, how are you? How did the classes go? " "Good. The Turkish teacher got sick today, so we had a replacement and didn’t do much.” "Something you have a lot of ill people... So they can send all of you to the remote studying." "They already did - I replied - They seem to promise so next week." Father chuckled. "Yeah, well, what a studying... Okay, go wash your hands and get at the table, everything is ready."

While I was washing my hands, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. From there, a guy was looking at me, whose bags under his eyes had recently become even more pronounced, and his cheeks and chin were covered with rather overgrown stubble. "Well, look at you... Could at least shave, lazy-ass." - I thought with a grin. Work mixed with study made itself felt. But that’s nothing, I'll soon take a vacation, go to Siberia and recover. If only the whole country won’t be put on a strict quarantine... When I finished washing my hands, I wiped them off with a terry towel and went to the kitchen, where my father was already waiting for me, laying out the cutlery and plates. "Today we have a roast beef for lunch, according to my recipe." - father said with a smile. “Not surprisingly, we have it almost every week. No variety at all" - I urged dad, sitting down at the table. My father looked at me sternly and replied: “If you don’t like it, then cook it yourself, I don’t have time for culinary delights.” "Hah, as if I have it!" - I said. "Then don't cringe and eat." - dad answered. When there already were steaming roast beefs on the plates and everyone sat down in their places, another resident of our apartment ran into the kitchen. It was a small and fluffy cat named Chibs. Father called him that after a character in one of his favorite series about bikers. Translated from Irish, Chibs meant "sharper", which fully corresponded to the character and behavior of this animal. Chibs was restless and very impudent and did not let anyone near him except my father. And it is not surprising, because it was dad who saved him from the street when Chibs was on the verge of life and death. But since father was a doctor, he quickly restored and put him in order. Since then, these two have been inseparable. Now this ball of fluff, running under the table and climbing to father's knees, stood with its front paws on the edge of the table and comically sniffed the smell of meat through its nose. Satisfying his curiosity, he got off the father and jumped onto the back of the sofa, went to his favorite place on the windowsill, lay down on a soft mat and began to lick his fur in a businesslike manner. Dad, who all this time without taking his eyes off the cat and smiling, finally turned to the table and wished me bon appetite, began to eat. Having answered him in kind, I took a fork and also began to eat. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, concentrating on food. Father was the first to break the silence: "You look tired, is everything okay?" I thought about his question. No matter how hard I tried to hide my fatigue, it was still noticeable. The schedule that I followed was difficult and it sucked all the energy out of me. But I didn't want to bother my father once again, so I simply replied that everything was fine and it just seemed to him. But it was clear from dad that this answer did not satisfy him. “Listen,” he said, putting his fork aside, “I see how you come home after school and then go to work. You are almost exhausted. Maybe you should consider choosing one or the other? At this rate, you will completely push yourself to the limit." As I continued to eat, I replied: “No, dad, I cannot do that. You yourself perfectly understand that I need money. I'm not going to ask you or anyone else for it. I can handle the load." Father just shook his head dejectedly. "Even so, but how long will you last?" After a pause for a couple of minutes and finishing my lunch, I looked at my father and said: "I will try to make it last for a long time." Dad just shrugged his shoulders, meaning, to do as I see fit and said nothing more. He knew how stubborn I was and therefore did not continue this conversation.

After washing the dishes, I thanked my dad for lunch and went to my room. Closing the door behind me, I sat down on the sofa and sighed. How these conversations annoy me! On the one hand, my father was worried about me and I understood and appreciated this. But on the other hand, it happened so often that it just pissed me off... OK, I need to calm down. Taking headphones from the desk, I connected them to the phone and turned on the music. One of the best ways to get your thoughts in order. I looked at the time: 4 hours were left before the meeting with the guys. Well, I will have time to rest and do the tasks. Back on the sofa, I fluffed up the pillow and lay down. Looking up at the ceiling, I thought about my problems. A lot of different thoughts were spinning in my head, but the sounds of the guitar in my headphones helped me to distribute them in the right order. No matter what happens, there is always a way out, the main thing is to give time and give a little effort to find it. While I was thinking about life, I did not notice how my eyes closed and I dozed off...