Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
My journal:
I always come back from the farmyard after harvesting strawberries with my sister
at the dawn of the sun , there is a breeze in the air ,the smelling of the mud mixed
with the animals stool , the sound of the rooster in the morning and smelling of the
broken eggs in the hens small house, basically a normal farm, we are in a remote
area from the first city but some noblemen came to check in their lands here as
they earn their money from it by renting it for you for a certain time for a certain
price ,after harvesting some fresh strawberries me and my lovely sister by the way
she is younger than me she is 9 years I am 12 we were heading back to our house
we always go to work in the farmyard to escape our miserable life my dad and
mom always fight for no reasons its always seems like my father tend to start a
fight for no reason yesterday he was talking about a fertilizer that help increase the
productivity of the farm then suddenly switching to ((YAK what is this @#$!@!$
food)) and state to shout at my mother face she was always calm when he starts to
yell like that she know something and she hides it from me and my sister and days
goes by in the same routine sometimes my father start to tell me weird things like
that my mother had replaced him with someone else maybe he was right maybe my
mother was cheating or something but after I randomly talk to her this thoughts
immediately melt inside my brain I know I acknowledge a lot of things in a young
age maybe that because the responsibility that I have like guarding my sister and
being with her all the time as she had a medical problem she is not.. smart I don’t
mean she can’t solve math I mean she cant work she cant understand life always
eat sleep nothing in her brain and its so hard to learn anything like how to harvest,
cook , even talking she cant talk properly so I was the onw who guard her always
having eye on her beside my job which is taking care of the farm my father as they
say have a MEDICAL situation that wont let him work and my mother always
disappear at the start of the day I don’t know where she goes sometimes I feel like
I am the only one here I am alone no one care about me I feel angry and lost and …..i shouldn’t let
these thoughts take over me as my mom says but where is she when I want her , I regret what I said to my mother one day when father started yelling and accusing
my mother that she treat him badly and that she REPLACED him with someone
else I mean cheating would be a more clear word but he insist on using word
replace I stand by my father side and asked my mother why she always disappear
at the first sun ray hit our window she smiled to my sister and my sister smiled
back at these moment my father thought that his ideas of his wife was true and
started yelling and throwing the food on the ground in anger ………..at an instant
I saw it my sister face was …..WAS ALL IN BLOOD AND OH MY GOD WHY WHY??!?!?! I WANT
TO KILL HIM I SEE FACES EVERYWHERE AN OLD WOMAN ASKING ME TO SEARCH FOR HER LOST
EYES AND AN OPENED STOMACH FAT GUY TELL MY THESE IS WHERE HIS FATHER ONCE BELONG
AND MY STOMACH IS STARVING TO TESTE MY FATHER FLESH … GO GO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR ………………………..STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT I shouted I …..shouted
these thoughts are here they are ………………..already here my mother rushed for
my sister trying to see what happened it was just random scratches in her face and
her 2 front teeth which released a lot of blood after all it wasn’t a big of deal to act
like that maybe her sound crying made this thoughts appear , regarding not helping
my sister which wait its weird that the only action my father took after throwing
the plate to my sister face was standing there and laughing and saying ((I was right
I was right)) THAT MORON I CANT I WANT TO TASTE HIS FLESH I WANT HIS LUNG ON A PLATE
SERVED WITH SOME OF HIS CUTTED FINGERS THAT I WILL CUT NOW BY A KNIFE AND LEAVE IT
PENTRATING HIS THROAT …..at these moment I felt instant pain on my cheek mum
slapped me somehow she was able to see through me and know my thoughts…
,after hour of trying to make my sister fall into a sleep I succeed and I went to my
wooden bed to sleep that I decided to go see where is my mother and ask her how
…just how and ………..i shouldn’t go there I regret it I saw my father holding a
knife which is leaking blood she was laying on her bed peacefully a big hole was
in her throat …….(inhale)……(exhale)…….. father sliced again and the blood
flied all the way to me THAT’S IT YOU ARE DIED WHY
…………………………………….MY MOTHER DIED IN FRONT
OF MY !@@$%@!!$ EYE WHY I AM NOT ACTING WHY I AM FROZEN I CANT
HELP BUT LAUGHING HAHAHEHAHAHAHAH I CANT STOP LAUGHING I WANT A
PIECE OF HIS BRAIN TOUCHING THE TIP OF MY TOUNGE I WANT MY TOUNGE
BUDS TO TASTE THE CURVES IN HIS BRAIN THAT I WILL LEAVE WITH THE
KNIFE I WANT A PART OF HIM PRISONED IN ME I WONT LEAVE THE SOIL WORM EAT HIM IN HIS CORPSE NO WAY I WILL HUNT HIM IN HIS DREAMS I
WILL LEAVE HIS SKULL IN THE BATHROOM EVERY TIME I WILL TAKE A
SHOWER I WILL BUT HIM UNDERNEATH ME I WANT HIM TO TASTE THE DIRT
THAT I AM FILLED WITH AT WORK I WILL PENTRATE HIS EYE SOCKETS
WITH MY FINGERS AND LEAVE SOME ROSES IN THEIR LIKE A VASE …I
WILL….I WILL …… I will …………. I am feeling cold right now it was
raining strongly there like there is storm coming and I am looking at my mother
corpse that I dug by myself later that night I had to pull the dead body I started
pulling the dirt to the corpse to cover my mum’s body with it ……. I don’t know
what to do now a lot of questions in my mind ………..why……..how
………….and why didn’t I react as I thought I would.., maybe I have a lack in
emotionally understanding things ……….how was it that easy for my father to kill
maybe it wasn’t the first time for him ,what should I do now return back home
where is my crazy father lay on a bloody bed or should I run and what if people
saw me of course someone will recognize the corpse here and my sister too what
should I do the only thing to do is to trust someone ….but who there is a noblemen
always pass by at 6 am to make sure the farmers are working and help if there is a
theft or something …….maybe..i….c…..OR YOU CAN GO AVENGE YOUR POOR MOTHER
AND KILL HIM SMASH HIS HEAD AND …..
Ferdaws (ghost):son stop PLEASE don’t follow this voices they are bad
Amr : mum
Ferdaws (ghost) :look son I cant keep it for much longer go to a man living beside
us called john tell him about what happened then return back home take your sister
and run RUN
Amr : mum wait who is john …what is happening …how are you ……….talking
And by that…, silence returned back I had no time my dad is a psycho its all clear
now but why mum married a psycho I have no time right now I should go save my
sister but I will go to that guy mr.john first to back me up just In case anything
happened I went rushing for the farm that have a big sign written on it JOHN
RICHARD PROPERTY his farm wasn’t far at all in fact it is beside our farm as
mum said I knocked the door loudly ….john opened holding a gun looking at me
and crying he hugged me and told me to go get my sister((how do he know about me and my sister and why is he crying )) and he will enter the house after calling
the ambulance to find my father I could believe him he is strong man wearing
pajama and holding a gun nothing wrong with that I rushed into the house and I
heared it ……..my SISTER IS CRYING AND YELLING I didn’t follow the plan
which was me and john ((which I trusted for a meeting took 2 minutes long
…weird enough)) he will go straight to my father rooms my go upstairs and take
my sister and escape from the window but I cant bare
I cant bare hearing my sister cry I went there found my father choking my sister
while shouting :STOP LOOKING LIKE YOUR MOTHER YOU SHOULD DIE
YOU LOOK LIKE HER A LOT YOU ARE HER
I jumped and tried to punch him but he dodged it by holding my arm with his hand
and he put my hand on my sister soft skin neck telling me :YOU ARE LIKE ME
WE ARE ALL A LIKE YOU CAME FROM THE SAME WORLD I CAME
YOUR MOTHER TRIED TO CHANGE YOUR CORE BUT I WONT LET HER
AND YOUR SISTER HAVE YOUR MOTHER’s CORE SHE CAN CHANGE
YOU I WONT LET THAT HAPPENED
And by that I saw my sisters eyes coming out of her skull because of the pressure
applied on her neck she was died ……..my father looked at me while holding a
knife and then he with the knife started to STAB STAB STAB STAB
MY BLOODY FACE SLICING HERE AND
THERE MY FACE WAS A PAINT HE
WAS THE PAINTER…, THE PAIN
….THE PAIN I CANT FEEL ANYTHING I AM PASSING
OUT BETWEEN THE HANDS
OF…A………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
………SHOCK………
……………………
…………………………………………
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.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
..........BARGAINING……
……………………
…………………………………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
…….DERPRESSION…………………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
………………...........
.................I AM COLD I
FEEL COLD AM I DEAD
…………… …...HOPE
STOP DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO STOP…….. HEARING
J BN B HIPTU
((THE END OF THE JORNAL))
My journal:
I always come back from the farmyard after harvesting strawberries with my sister
at the dawn of the sun , there is a breeze in the air ,the smelling of the mud mixed
with the animals stool , the sound of the rooster in the morning and smelling of the
broken eggs in the hens small house, basically a normal farm, we are in a remote
area from the first city but some noblemen came to check in their lands here as
they earn their money from it by renting it for you for a certain time for a certain
price ,after harvesting some fresh strawberries me and my lovely sister by the way
she is younger than me she is 9 years I am 12 we were heading back to our house
we always go to work in the farmyard to escape our miserable life my dad and
mom always fight for no reasons its always seems like my father tend to start a
fight for no reason yesterday he was talking about a fertilizer that help increase the
productivity of the farm then suddenly switching to ((YAK what is this @#$!@!$
food)) and state to shout at my mother face she was always calm when he starts to
yell like that she know something and she hides it from me and my sister and days
goes by in the same routine sometimes my father start to tell me weird things like
that my mother had replaced him with someone else maybe he was right maybe my
mother was cheating or something but after I randomly talk to her this thoughts
immediately melt inside my brain I know I acknowledge a lot of things in a young
age maybe that because the responsibility that I have like guarding my sister and
being with her all the time as she had a medical problem she is not.. smart I don’t
mean she can’t solve math I mean she cant work she cant understand life always
eat sleep nothing in her brain and its so hard to learn anything like how to harvest,
cook , even talking she cant talk properly so I was the onw who guard her always
having eye on her beside my job which is taking care of the farm my father as they
say have a MEDICAL situation that wont let him work and my mother always
disappear at the start of the day I don’t know where she goes sometimes I feel like
I am the only one here I am alone no one care about me I feel angry and lost and …..i shouldn’t let
these thoughts take over me as my mom says but where is she when I want her , I regret what I said to my mother one day when father started yelling and accusing
my mother that she treat him badly and that she REPLACED him with someone
else I mean cheating would be a more clear word but he insist on using word
replace I stand by my father side and asked my mother why she always disappear
at the first sun ray hit our window she smiled to my sister and my sister smiled
back at these moment my father thought that his ideas of his wife was true and
started yelling and throwing the food on the ground in anger ………..at an instant
I saw it my sister face was …..WAS ALL IN BLOOD AND OH MY GOD WHY WHY??!?!?! I WANT
TO KILL HIM I SEE FACES EVERYWHERE AN OLD WOMAN ASKING ME TO SEARCH FOR HER LOST
EYES AND AN OPENED STOMACH FAT GUY TELL MY THESE IS WHERE HIS FATHER ONCE BELONG
AND MY STOMACH IS STARVING TO TESTE MY FATHER FLESH … GO GO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR ………………………..STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT I shouted I …..shouted
these thoughts are here they are ………………..already here my mother rushed for
my sister trying to see what happened it was just random scratches in her face and
her 2 front teeth which released a lot of blood after all it wasn’t a big of deal to act
like that maybe her sound crying made this thoughts appear , regarding not helping
my sister which wait its weird that the only action my father took after throwing
the plate to my sister face was standing there and laughing and saying ((I was right
I was right)) THAT MORON I CANT I WANT TO TASTE HIS FLESH I WANT HIS LUNG ON A PLATE
SERVED WITH SOME OF HIS CUTTED FINGERS THAT I WILL CUT NOW BY A KNIFE AND LEAVE IT
PENTRATING HIS THROAT …..at these moment I felt instant pain on my cheek mum
slapped me somehow she was able to see through me and know my thoughts…
,after hour of trying to make my sister fall into a sleep I succeed and I went to my
wooden bed to sleep that I decided to go see where is my mother and ask her how
…just how and ………..i shouldn’t go there I regret it I saw my father holding a
knife which is leaking blood she was laying on her bed peacefully a big hole was
in her throat …….(inhale)……(exhale)…….. father sliced again and the blood
flied all the way to me THAT’S IT YOU ARE DIED WHY
…………………………………….MY MOTHER DIED IN FRONT
OF MY !@@$%@!!$ EYE WHY I AM NOT ACTING WHY I AM FROZEN I CANT
HELP BUT LAUGHING HAHAHEHAHAHAHAH I CANT STOP LAUGHING I WANT A
PIECE OF HIS BRAIN TOUCHING THE TIP OF MY TOUNGE I WANT MY TOUNGE
BUDS TO TASTE THE CURVES IN HIS BRAIN THAT I WILL LEAVE WITH THE
KNIFE I WANT A PART OF HIM PRISONED IN ME I WONT LEAVE THE SOIL WORM EAT HIM IN HIS CORPSE NO WAY I WILL HUNT HIM IN HIS DREAMS I
WILL LEAVE HIS SKULL IN THE BATHROOM EVERY TIME I WILL TAKE A
SHOWER I WILL BUT HIM UNDERNEATH ME I WANT HIM TO TASTE THE DIRT
THAT I AM FILLED WITH AT WORK I WILL PENTRATE HIS EYE SOCKETS
WITH MY FINGERS AND LEAVE SOME ROSES IN THEIR LIKE A VASE …I
WILL….I WILL …… I will …………. I am feeling cold right now it was
raining strongly there like there is storm coming and I am looking at my mother
corpse that I dug by myself later that night I had to pull the dead body I started
pulling the dirt to the corpse to cover my mum’s body with it ……. I don’t know
what to do now a lot of questions in my mind ………..why……..how
………….and why didn’t I react as I thought I would.., maybe I have a lack in
emotionally understanding things ……….how was it that easy for my father to kill
maybe it wasn’t the first time for him ,what should I do now return back home
where is my crazy father lay on a bloody bed or should I run and what if people
saw me of course someone will recognize the corpse here and my sister too what
should I do the only thing to do is to trust someone ….but who there is a noblemen
always pass by at 6 am to make sure the farmers are working and help if there is a
theft or something …….maybe..i….c…..OR YOU CAN GO AVENGE YOUR POOR MOTHER
AND KILL HIM SMASH HIS HEAD AND …..
Ferdaws (ghost):son stop PLEASE don’t follow this voices they are bad
Amr : mum
Ferdaws (ghost) :look son I cant keep it for much longer go to a man living beside
us called john tell him about what happened then return back home take your sister
and run RUN
Amr : mum wait who is john …what is happening …how are you ……….talking
And by that…, silence returned back I had no time my dad is a psycho its all clear
now but why mum married a psycho I have no time right now I should go save my
sister but I will go to that guy mr.john first to back me up just In case anything
happened I went rushing for the farm that have a big sign written on it JOHN
RICHARD PROPERTY his farm wasn’t far at all in fact it is beside our farm as
mum said I knocked the door loudly ….john opened holding a gun looking at me
and crying he hugged me and told me to go get my sister((how do he know about me and my sister and why is he crying )) and he will enter the house after calling
the ambulance to find my father I could believe him he is strong man wearing
pajama and holding a gun nothing wrong with that I rushed into the house and I
heared it ……..my SISTER IS CRYING AND YELLING I didn’t follow the plan
which was me and john ((which I trusted for a meeting took 2 minutes long
…weird enough)) he will go straight to my father rooms my go upstairs and take
my sister and escape from the window but I cant bare
I cant bare hearing my sister cry I went there found my father choking my sister
while shouting :STOP LOOKING LIKE YOUR MOTHER YOU SHOULD DIE
YOU LOOK LIKE HER A LOT YOU ARE HER
I jumped and tried to punch him but he dodged it by holding my arm with his hand
and he put my hand on my sister soft skin neck telling me :YOU ARE LIKE ME
WE ARE ALL A LIKE YOU CAME FROM THE SAME WORLD I CAME
YOUR MOTHER TRIED TO CHANGE YOUR CORE BUT I WONT LET HER
AND YOUR SISTER HAVE YOUR MOTHER’s CORE SHE CAN CHANGE
YOU I WONT LET THAT HAPPENED
And by that I saw my sisters eyes coming out of her skull because of the pressure
applied on her neck she was died ……..my father looked at me while holding a
knife and then he with the knife started to STAB STAB STAB STAB
MY BLOODY FACE SLICING HERE AND
THERE MY FACE WAS A PAINT HE
WAS THE PAINTER…, THE PAIN
….THE PAIN I CANT FEEL ANYTHING I AM PASSING
OUT BETWEEN THE HANDS
OF…A………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
………SHOCK………
……………………
…………………………………………
……………………..
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.............DENIAL................
.......................................
.......................................
..............................................................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.............ANGER………
……………………
…………………………………………
……………………
……..............................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
.......................................
..........BARGAINING……
……………………
…………………………………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
…….DERPRESSION…………………………
……………………
……………………
……………………
………………...........
.................I AM COLD I
FEEL COLD AM I DEAD
…………… …...HOPE
STOP DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO STOP…….. HEARING
J BN B HIPTU
((THE END OF THE JORNAL))
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