First
Dear mom,
It has been a year since you left us, and nothing has changed. Only, it has gotten to a worst level than I imagined it to be. Nothing is as normal as it used to be when you were here. Everday from the past year I am writing you my wishes and my hopes that time will heal everthing and eventually we all be together like a family but it's not. Time has changed nothing for us but widen the gap. Now, we are more of strangers to each other. It's not how I thought it would be after a year and it's pains me writing this, that we are still a broken family.
Dad's condition hasn't improved a bit, he insistent on being drowned in his work and alcohol to numb the pain, trying to fill the hole that your sudden absence has left him with. And James, he, he is still not talking to me and adamant on staying at Rowan's than coming back home. At school he is same like I have written you many times in the past, he acts like I don't exists for him. Beside this, he is doing well for him.
Sometimes I get this feeling that we belong to two different worlds. I'm scared that I can never reach him as how far he had gone for me to tell him to come back home. The wounds are still fresh in each of our hearts and I think we haven't moved on yet.
We are still grieving, in our own way. And i'm sorry writing this but I think, I'll be giving up on my wish to see our family together and happy as it used to be in your presence. I'm sorry mom, for being so weak. I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Emily
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