Mariam's POV

When Selim and I were sitting in the living room while my mom went to the grocery store. I heard selim's phone popped a message. He was smiling during the chat.

"woah, why are smiling? Is there a new chick or something " He turned to me with a shock.

"How did you know" he blushed and turned his head around.

seriously!

"so my suspicion is clear right know" I laughed at him.

"stop, don't you have anything else to do?? " He mocked, while he kept texting.

" who is she?, do I know her" I asked him while I was wondering who is she.

" Her name is nadia " he replied with a smile on his face. " She is with us in school ".

" That curly headed girl" I asked.

"She is not that, her name is nadia" I was taken back with his response. It's the first time he talks to me like that. I didn't mean to be rude but I was describing her appearance nothing more. I tried not to appear that I'm sad about his way.

" hohoho, you're being serious here" I tried to act normal.

" yea I think she is hot you know , chicks nowadays are not to be found " I don't know why but I felt that I'm being insulted even if he didn't mean it. " Do you want to see her picture?".

" No I already know her" I hated myself to feel like that. " So, what are you planning to do?".

" Maybe I will ask her out , what do you think?".

" Great that is great idea, I hope she would say yes".

" I'm going to leave right now , thanks for the biryanis " He opened the door and left.

I grabbed my phone quickly and made a quick search on nadia. On selim's opinion, she is hot . I looked at myself at the mirror. I am nothing like her . I know that I'm not beautiful enough for boys to like me. No one had come before and wants to know me. All the boys at school don't know that I exist. I'm only known because I an selim's best friend. I know that I'm little introvert but if a guy is interested in a girl whatever type she is, he would make an effort to know her. Also, I know if someone came to me and asked me out . I would reject ,however, I wm little sad that nobody tried to make an effort. That does mean that no one is interested on me. I looked at my self on the mirror.

I want to be loved.

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Nour and I were sitting chatting on the bleachers in front of the football field and then one of selim's friends ,zayed, came in front of nour. I don't miss that nour having a crush on him.

" Nour I would like to talk to you for seconds " zayed said with nervousness. " Say it in front of mariam she's my friend ".

" you know that we talked with each other and had a project, I liked you before all of this and I had the guts to know you but thankfully the project did it well. One month ago, I realized that I don't like you any more. I love you nour".

I am really shocked and I think that any fly can enter nour's mouth right now.

" Do you feel the same ?and if you don't I can leave and pretend that I didn't say any thing of that"

Nour was blushing and looking at the floor.

" Yes I do love you" she whispered.

I don't know why but what came on my mind is selim. I tried to refresh my mind.

" Guys I am so happy for you , zayed you made the right decision for telling her" I smiled because nour has been waiting for this since she knew zayed.

" Nour ..would you give.. me the honor to meet your ...parents " he was stuttering and I wanted to laugh but I chose to shut my mouth.

nour seems to be surprising because her eyes widened but she was smiling." yes of course ".

I left them and made my way to the class to prepare my next session. While I was on my way, I got bumped to a girl, Nadia.

" watch your way.... dear" she said with a fake smile. I didn't miss that her lipstick is messed up. I had a bad feeling about this.Hence, I left to class.

when I entered the class I found selim is waiting for me but when I got closer I noticed red lipstick in the bottom of his lips. This is the first time I feel my heart aches.

" Oh hey mariam, I want your help with something?" selim asked with nervousness.

"shoot" I replied quickly.

" I want you to help me with trying to ask nadia out!"

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I was walking out of school exhausted when I heard someone calling for me I turned around.

" David, how are you?"

" I'm fine , what are you doing tonight?"

" Nothing why?" I am confused

" We can hangout you know"

" sorry david, but I don't hangout with guys" I felt sorry for him.

" How about selim, I think he's a guy ,so what the difference?" I was taken back about what he said , I don't know why but I was getting angry. I don't know him but how dare he compares himself with selim. Selim is an exception.

" yea selim is a guy , but he is like brother and my best friend as well" I was gritting on my teeth for not letting my anger takes over me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk about him like this I didn't know that he means to you alot"

" yes I mean to her alot" I was shocked at selim's appearance. " It's time to leave mariam let's go".

" I may call you tonight mariam" David said with mischievous smirk on his face.

" Bye , david" I smiled at him.

I didn't miss the flinch on selim's jaw. we walked to his car silently. I think david is interested in me . He's trying to talk to and hang out with me, but he is haram. Maybe he is acting as a friend.

" why is he trying to talk to you?" selim asked while he's concentrating on the road.

" He is trying to be my friend" I calmy respond.

then I heard that he pulled the hand break and stopped the car. I looked at him with anger.

" what the hell is wrong with you" I yelled at him.

" friends my ass" he shouted back. " There's no friendship between a guy and a girl".

" Really so what are we then???" I was confused.

" what? are you kidding me , we have grown up together, people doubt that we are not siblings".

" I have the right to do whatever the hell I want, like you do what you want" I told him with stubborness.

" woah, you gained confidence right now" he laughed with sarcasm.

" first, david is interested in me. second, he is the first guy whoever talks to me. third, he makes me feel wanted. finally, he's handsome." I finished.

" so is he the first guy makes you feel wanted ? then what I make you feel ... unwanted " he asked.

" like you said people almost think that we are siblings. siblings don't have those feelings among them" . " you're like my brother and I feel that I like him".

" Don't you remember that he is not as muslim as you. It doesn't make any sense".

I shut my mouth because I know that he is telling the truth and I can't like someone who's not from the same beliefs. I tried to open the door but he locked it immediately.

" Open the door selim" I demanded.

" No until you tell me "

" please open the door" I let my tears to fall down.

He unlocked the door and I went to unlock the door of my house . I entered and went to my room. I kept crying until I drifted to sleep.

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After one week neither me nor selim talked to each other. What I confused at that he picks me up every day to school but without to talk with each other.

I was sitting in the cafeteria until nour and zayed came and sit on the table.

" Mariam I have news for you" she was smiling at zayed. " Zayed and I are going to have pur engagement party next week and you're the first one to be invited along with selim".

" oh congratulations nour and zayed of course I will come " I was happy for her and excited for the party. It's has been a long time since I gone to a party.

what am I going to wear??

......................... 

Selim's POV:

Nadia and I have been dating since 3 days. Mariam didn't help me doing that. Honestly speaking, I regretted asking her for doing that. I felt like I hurt her and I don't know why. I just know that I shouldn't have asked her.

Today is Zayed's and Nour's engagement party. I don't know how mariam will be able to go. She doesn't have a drive. I may ask her, what she may reject. What a I going to do? we didn't talk for a week. I don't tolerate that.

I miss her.

I don't care , I will ask her.

I grabbed my phone and dialed her name, Marshmallow 🍡.

Tsk

Tsk

Tsk

" Hey" she whispered, I closed my eyes. Oh god, I missed that voice.

" mmmm, Mariam how are you going to head to the party?"

" Uber or something, why?" She asked.

Don't be a coward and ask her!

" Oh, I can pick ya up and go together " I hope she would say yes.

" Okay, No problems I will be waiting for you "

My eyes widened in excitement. I even thanked her.

" Thanks... marsh" I whispered and I don't know what but I was dying for the time flies and go to pick her up.

We hang up and I went to take a shower to get ready.

when I came out I took my tux and wear it. I put on perfume and then brushed my hair. I heard someone knocking on the door.

"Come in " My mom entered the room and she was smiling.

" Oh my handsome guy, your smile is glowing mashallah "

I should hurry to pick mariam up.

I smiled in the mirror for unknown reason.

" My son has fallen in love or something?" I was taken back by what my mom said.

" Why are you telling me this?"

" You're smiling like someone is waiting for something or someone?!!!"

" I 'm excited because I will see zayed will get married to nour, you now that they love each other "

" Send them my blessings, you know I can't go I have alot of work to finish" I kissed my mom's forehead and went to my car.

I called mariam to tell her that I'm almost arrived.

I waited for her outside for five minutes. I heard heels clicks when I raised my eyes from me phone. When I looked up I felt my breathe was taken away from me. Mariam was walking on her heels. She was wearing a white dress and her little simple make up.

She's breathtaking.

when she moved forward ,I went to her.

" Hey" I greeted her while scratching my head.she greeted back. I went to open for her the door . She gets in and I went to the passenger seat and drove in silence. It was an awkward silence and the best solution was to keep silent until we arrived.

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Mariam's POV:

when we arrived to the party . I went to sit beside noor, we talked about random stuff. I can witness that she is very happy and I'm happy for her.

"Are you and selim don't talk to each other " noor asked with curiosity. I don't know what am I going to answer her or I don't have an answer. This week was the worst week I have passed through my life. The smell of depression has evolved the air. I don't know whom I talk to. I feel so lonely, noor's engagement party and silent treatment between selim and I, make me feel that I don't have a person to talk to. Selim is not definitely a person, he is more than just a person. He is my child hood friend and my best buddy. I just knew noor since two years but I feel that she is not as close as him. She feels my pain as I feel hers but it's not the same when it comes to selim. I felt the tears were on the verge of my eyes, so I decided to enter the terrace of the ball. I let the tears to come down slowly. I felt my throat is becoming hard from the feelings inside my heart.

Selim's POV:

I was at the entrance of the ball welcoming the guests with Zeyad's brother. when I decided to go to zeyad and noor. when I reached them I hugged zeyad.

" Congratulations brooo" I hugged him tightly because finally my friend is engaged to his girl.

Then I shook my hands with noor and informed her my blessings.

" Selim is something wrong between you and mariam" noor's question shocked me because mariam doesn't pour her heart to others and I hate this so much. what shocked me is that how did noor know about this!! Unless something happened.

"what happened? where is she?!!! Is she okay?" I must say that I look like a psycho right know. I even grabbed some attention but alhamdullah not all.

" She went towards the terrace " I moved away from them quickly making my way towards the terrace. I found her sitting at a chair . I moved closer until I stopped in front of her. SHE IS CRYING!

"mariam why are you crying?" I felt panic inside me because I knew exactly the reason behind her crying. " I'm sorry really really sorry, I am a stupid guy for letting such a beauty to cry" she looked at me with a smile. " I just hate when we have an argument, it ends up with a fight and you're the closest to me then I have no one to talk and you know that selim" she was crying silently and I hated my self at the moment. I'm the reason of her state .

" I apologize princess, I just hate when guys try to talk to you , I know their intentions towards you, they know that you didn't experience any relationships before, so they want to use you for their favor and lust. I won't let that happen because if it happened I won't let them out my hands. I would let them regret that they laid their eyes on you in the first ". she smiled at me with her puffy eyes ,pink cheeks, and red lips.

those lips.

what stop what are you thinking dumb head!!

" You matter so much to me" I whispered to her. then I don't know what came over me.

I hugged her.

I know what I am doing right I will be paid by a punch. However, I need to cherish this moment.

Mariam POV:

I am SHOCKED!!! selim is hugging me and I don't know why but I felt it is right. his hand around my waist and back was like protecting me. I felt like he pierced my soul. my heart was bumping rapidly. I felt that I am going to faint any moment. This feeling that I have right know is so different ,strange, and beautiful at the same time. I have never felt this before. I hope he never move away from the hug. WHATT!!! I am hugging a non-mehrem. I moved away quickly.

" It's wrong selim" I whispered and I lowered my gaze. I couldn't look to his eyes. I don't know why I felt if I looked at him my heart will explode. I left him behind and I entered the ball again.

There's something wrong with me.

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Last updated 26/7/2020

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