Jasmin.

As I slowly made my way to the bus stop,  I started to think about how my life went from average to shit. life at home was hell.  I haven't seen my mother in years and I begun to wonder if I'll see her in my childhood.  my life was so bad at home I sometimes considered suicide,  But everytime I thought about my friends and decided against it. Ah,  well I guess I shouldn't be thinking about that.  I should just enjoy this song that's playing on my iPad.

             Just as the song was getting to the best part,  I felt a hand on my shoulder.  with heart beating,  I quickly turned around.  I jumped when I saw someone.  I quietly laughed to myself.  it was just crystal,  my best friend.  " shit,  crystal,  you fucking scared me" I held a hand to my beating heart. she laughed.
    

            sometimes I envy crystal,  she has both of her parents,  she always had boys swarming her like moths to a flame. she didn't have to worry about looking good,  she always does. she's the most popular girl in school. possibly in the whole town. she wasn't like the high school popular kid from movies show.  she's the opposite.
  when I stand next to her,  I just look like a speck of dust,  not owning up to anything.  sometimes people don't even notice me.  I'm invisible. " hey,  earth to Jasmin. you blacked out on me."
     " sorry I was lost on thought,  what were you saying? " god I swear when I black out people think I'm weird. but I don't know,  people don't tell me how they think of me. " I was saying how I  heard about the new boy."
" why are you telling me this?  you know that I don't really care about the boys around me. " that was a lie.
"oh well both know if that is a lie,  besides.... I hear he's hot." she whispered that last part. "umm.... ok.... look the bus is here!" relief washed over me,  I did not feel like having conversation about hot boys with crystal.  I know she has a fair share of them,  but talking to get about that kind of stuff makes me remember how boring I am. " don't think we are done talking about that,  Jasmin Damiani" and with that she stepped on the bus,  leaving me to my thoughts. then I stepped on and began the eventful ride.

          usually days on the bus aren't all that special,  but I couldn't stop thinking about the new boy.  what if he really was hot?  like crystal had said?  god these thoughts we're new,  I usually don't wonder if they are hot.  I know they are but I don't wonder. oh god what is wrong with me? " girl, you really need to stop blacking out on me that's the second time today,  and hadn't even been an hour. "
she was right,  I keep blacking out.
" sorry,  just have a lot on mind"
" Is it about the new boy? "she said while nudging my arm with her shoulder.  " no.... yes.... " I whispered. oh that smirk.... you know she has something planned when she has that smirk. " why are you looking at me like that?  what are you planning crystal? "
"nothing... just a little romance"
oh great.  I'm not ready for this ride. my hearts not ready for romance. 
"crystal,  you know why I don't want no romance. I'm always afraid the same thing would happen to me as my  mother. so please don't do anything rash."
" I know,  but your holding yourself back. your just gonna be lonely all your life if your not ready to take anyone in." she had a point. just as I was about to say something,  HE came on the bus. he did look hot. he looked like dark chocolate that I could eat right up with warm brown hair that matched his eyes. he was just peice of art...... what is happening to me?!
usually I don't have these thoughts. I looked down at my clothes out of anxiety that I looked horrible.  I had a black tank top with jeans that had lots of Rips in them.  I looked at crystals outfit. black fishnets,  rose red mini skirt and also a black tank top. she even had red lipstick on.  the entire outfit mixed perfectly with her long brown hair. well now I know  that I have no choice.  crystal would probably catch his attention first. I looked out the window to not stare at this piece of art. " excuse me ladies,  is this seat taken? " he motioned to the seat next to crystal. god,  that voice! It sent electricity through my body. good thing I was seating next to the window,  a seat between us. If I was closer,  I would've lost all control all over my body. I just squeezed my legs together. I already felt like jello." no its not" crystal replied with a smile. as soon as he sat down,  him and crystal immediately started a conversation. great. " so what's your name, cutie?" classic move crystal.
he answered. " michael, whats yours?"
" crystal."
"nice to meet you crystal." he said and they continued their conversation without noticing me.just more proof I'm invisible. I'm just lucky no one could hear my heart beating fast and couldn't tell I felt like jello.