"Now that I know,surviving days is not my cup of tea,I count my days - when I'm breathing the same air,but choking as if there's poison mingled in the air.
I run my fingers over things I love, because,
What if I give up on my life, all of a sudden? When it'll be too much for me to handle, and when anxiety would stifle me.
You know, Life's just a uncertain game, and I feel I'm close to losing now.I feel I'm close to losing now.I understand,there might not be a tomorrow,for me,but I shed tears hoping that people I love,lying in their graveyards just come back somehow and hug me.I wonder at times,why do people leave,they say it's lesson,the next time you won't expect anyone to stay. Ironic, how the one makes us fall in love is the reason our heart never wants to fall in love again.
I still draw smiles on the fogged glasses of cars, and I hope I could smile like that, again.
Surely, life's is not a burden, it's what you make it- they say, but I try. I try to put my smile on just to make sure you smiles, I hold back my tears, and cry wrapping myself with my arms every night, just to make sure no one gets to know. No, I don't want to cry, I just want to end this pain.
Pain? Pain of what? You just have everything- but what about love? I don't have love which heals pain, that's what I want. I want my mother to hug me, I want to cry on your shoulder, I want you to feel proud of having me, I don't want to be a burden atleast. You know, it's better to be gone than to be a burden.
No I'm just fine,maybe, just wanted to drain out this heavy heart. Maybe I'll survive, like this, a few more years or a few more months or a few more days or a few more hours  but I want to survive forever in your heart."
                 It was around 3am and she wrote all this in her diary. Once again on that midnight one more page from her diary decreased. Again she tear off that page into as many pieces as possible and again they went to the dustbin. Again no one came to know what she was going through, how she was feeling, how hard each and everyday was becoming for her. Maybe again she will wake next up a smile in her or maybe not.