Rock, Paper, Scissors
Each night my mind and my heart play rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets to keep me awake that night. My mind by replaying memories of us, or my heart by reminding me of the feelings I had for you.
For the longest time, the word "love" felt like dust on my tongue. I couldn't get it off. I couldn't swallow it. But now I down it with a cup of gratitude and care, surrounded by friends and family. A different formula, but still love nonetheless.
My coffee has only gotten more bitter and darker since you left. I fill my cup to the brim. So that it can spill on the table. Then I doodle your name through the brown liquid as a personal reminder of the state you left me in. Bitter and dark
To tell you the truth, I still use the same fragrance in the shower that I picked off from you, that's the only time and place where I allow myself to remember you. There's something about watching the foam go down the drain along with your touch.
The playlist in phone remains unheard. I can't listen to it, I can't delete it. For now, it's just there. And I'm going to let it be. Someday I'll make new memories to every single one of those songs.
Loving you came with a cost. But it also came with lessons. And I don't know if anybody else could have taught them to me better than you.
I wish I could say that I hope you're happy wherever you are. But that's too mainstream. And I didn't write this for that. I wrote it to tell you that I am definitely not happy with where I am.
For the longest time, the word "love" felt like dust on my tongue. I couldn't get it off. I couldn't swallow it. But now I down it with a cup of gratitude and care, surrounded by friends and family. A different formula, but still love nonetheless.
My coffee has only gotten more bitter and darker since you left. I fill my cup to the brim. So that it can spill on the table. Then I doodle your name through the brown liquid as a personal reminder of the state you left me in. Bitter and dark
To tell you the truth, I still use the same fragrance in the shower that I picked off from you, that's the only time and place where I allow myself to remember you. There's something about watching the foam go down the drain along with your touch.
The playlist in phone remains unheard. I can't listen to it, I can't delete it. For now, it's just there. And I'm going to let it be. Someday I'll make new memories to every single one of those songs.
Loving you came with a cost. But it also came with lessons. And I don't know if anybody else could have taught them to me better than you.
I wish I could say that I hope you're happy wherever you are. But that's too mainstream. And I didn't write this for that. I wrote it to tell you that I am definitely not happy with where I am.
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