Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter One
"No I'm the princess from the lost kingdom!" said Amethyst
"No I said it first so I am!" said Ashley
"No I did!"
"Well I'm the older one so you better listen to me!"
And then Amethyst started crying.
"Well, I'm Cinderella" I said and everyone started laughing.
"What?" I thought, "You guys say stuff like that all the time and others play alone this is my first time why're you all laughing?" Maybe cause it WAS my first time. I never said shit like that

"Yay look at me I'm a cowboy!" I said with my hairband spinning around my finger and laughing. We were all having a good time till my hairband flew out of the window. Everyone gasped. But I told them it was okay when I knew it wasn't as this was the millionth time this happened. Mom would beat me when I get home. When I was home mom was shouting at me and I hid behind the curtains which was a stupid thing to do because the curtains were kind of translucent and she could see me.

It was lunch time and I had brought french fries. It took me a lof of time to finish lunch. It always did. In fact the lunch break was over. I was the only one eating. The fries were all oily. Sally, my benchmate, covered her fingers with the oil and started rubbing them into my ears. I asked her to stop but she wouldn't. So I stopped trying and focused on finishing my lunch.

All the girls went to the washroom together. They had asked us to. The teachers. I bet they didn't know that we also peed together. Okay 'them', not 'me'. Why would I want anyone to see my vagina? Plus, I didn't have anyone to pee with. I remember a day when I was peeing and this girl was making fun of me for peeing alone. One day I had a cold and it was raining. We had this particular time when we went to the bathroom. The way to the washroom included an outdoor passage. My dance teacher Simon didn't allow me to go. He asked me if it was urgent. I said it wasn't. It really wasn't. I just wanted to go because everyone was going. So he asked me to go back. I didn't like him. When I transferred, I was happy he wouldn't be there.

I had forgotten where I kept my mini chalkboard. So instead, I brought a big cardboard piece. Everyone kept asking me to tear it 'cause they wanted it too. I gave it to Mike and by the time the teacher came and shouted at me.

My dad used to teach me Maths and English. One day he asked me to do all the exercises in the textbook as the year was gonna end. And I did. After one or two days, the teacher asked all of us to submit the books. She asked me why I did all that and scolded me. I didn't tell dad though. I didnt want him to feel like it was his fault. Only after a couple of years had he told me that I was the topper of the whole of KG.

I was running around the class making hella noise and everyone was enjoying it. But the teacher came in and shouted at me and beat me. I didn't cry. I never cried. Maybe that's why she hit me. Because she knew I wouldn't cry and I wouldn't tell anyone.

It was my birthday and I was wearing my favorite red dress. I gave everyone toffees but Mike kept asking for more. So I gave him. Soon found out that they had finished. I wanted to cry so much so hard but I didn't. You might think that Mike's a bitch but he isn't. I mean maybe he is but me and Mike remain good friends till this day. In fact we had some cute moments when we were small and some kids shipped us.

When I went to KG everyone had already made friends and the moment I entered the class, I didn't know who to sit with. And there was this bitch kid giving me looks. Thankfully this girl named Damie smiled at me and asked me to sit with her. She was my best friend that year. There was also this boy. I don't remember his name but we were this friend group. When we had exams and all he helped us. He brought chocolates and gave it to us. But one day I remember, it was Christmas and Damie was like "I always sit with you now let me sit with her" and went and sat with that girl who gave me that bitchy looks that day. She knew we were enemies and still she did it. And the guy was sitting somewhere else so I sat with some girl I didn't know.

That's all I remember of when I was in KG. It was almost a decade later when I realized I was a pushover. Not that I'm not a pushover now. At least I'm with the popular gang. So not anyone can bully and manipulate me. Not anyone from the school.
© Agna Thalakkal,
книга «Insecurities».