After a long period of writer's block...here it is! Hope you enjoy it!


“Your girlfriend?” I asked confused and completely in shock at the new information. I knew he could read my mind just by my uttered shocked expression. 

“It's complicated" he murmured under his breath as his hands found my face. He cupped my face in them, forcing me to look at him.

I was still dumbfounded and let him do just what he wanted. My mind was somewhere else, trying to give sense to what I heard. 

“ And that's how you talk to your girlfriend?”  I only find the words of the questions I had in my mind coming out.

“ Well yes...it's complicated, Jess" he breathed out deeply and let go of my face. His hands found their way to the steering wheel and his eyes suddenly focused on the street.

He seemed lost. His eyes were a  raging storm full of regrets and frustration.  There was something more behind his attitude. Something he wanted to hide from me.

“ Why haven't you mentioned her?” my voice sounded more doubtful each time I asked one of the million questions running through my brain.

“  I haven't mentioned a lot of things" he looked straight into my eyes as he licked his lower lip out of frustration. 

“ Are you planning to mention them anytime soon?” I was heartbroken at the new reality in from of me. It is true that I didn't know Max anymore.

At this moment when he took forever to reply that simple question it was hard to believe he was still the same Max I knew.

“ It's complicated”  he whispered still holding my gaze with a sincere apologetic look.

I picked up my dignity and my heart and turned to open the door. I didn't say a word. I didn't have to. It was all clear like water. I wasn't his best friend anymore. I didn't have the rights to know his secrets or how complicated his life was now. It was sad. To make him fall for me wasn't a priority anymore. Not when he had someone already in his life.

“ Jess, I'm sorry. Please don't give me the silent treatment” he pleaded with a low hurting voice.

  The atmosphere in the car fell into a small single space.  The windows and seats were closer and the air wasn't enough for the both of us. The effect of his voice pleading for something I wasn't sure made me feel overwhelmed. The blue of his eyes was dull tonight, as if the life I saw earlier was forcibly taken from them.  I knew he had to go and I was going to make it easier for him.

Was I really willing to put my heart out there just for a chance to love? To make him love me?

“ I can't promise you that because you know...it's complicated”  I wasn't going to be easy to deal with. Not now, when he was purposefully hiding things from me.

I opened the door with my stomach in a knot and walked straight to my house.  He didn't try to stop me, and left as soon as I was out of the car. I breathed deep one more time before opening the back door.

I walked slowly on my tiptoes to my room. I didn't have the energy to even care about my father finding me sneaking in. I took my clothes off as soon as I was in the safety of my room.

As I laid in bed I took a good look at the picture of a happy reckless Max with a ‘know it all’ over thinker in his arms as we both smiled happily at the camera.  It was a picture that perfectly described who we were and what we meant for each other back then.

I put it down and hide it in my drawer with a bunch of other things that weren't important now, but a few years ago would have meant the world to me. After all we weren't them anymore. 

---

Monday came in a blink of an eye. Saturday and Sunday were hectic catching up with lessons and activities.  The doctor finally let me go back to school after taking my second cast off on Saturday.  I had to be extra careful,  but at least I wasn't in a prison anymore.

I woke up early bright with the news on the background and the smell of fresh cooked bacon in the air. I got ready for school carefully looking for an outfit to warm me during these first days of November. 

I grabbed my brown leather jacket and slide it on my body after putting a white loose doll collar blouse and skinny jeans. I took my bag and headed downstairs to have breakfast. 

I smiled widely when I saw dad sitting on the dining table with his coffee on his hand.

“ Good morning, honey" he greeted me with the same smile and a kiss on my forehead when I approached him.

“ Good morning dad" I replied and sat on the wooden side chair to eat breakfast. I felt my mouth watered when I saw the food.

I haven't eaten properly the past few days. I wish it had nothing to do with Max, but I would be lying to myself. He didn't call or text. I was nervous about meeting him at school today. He didn't know I was going back to school since I didn't dare to text him either.

“ Were you starving yourself this weekend?” my dad asked, furrowing his eyebrows while his eyes gave me an incredulous look.

That's when I noticed I already ate my pancakes and bacon. I was not only starving myself, but I kept my mind busy only thinking about today.

“  Of course not! I'm just very excited to go back to school!” I grinned and then took my bag.

“ You know you can stay one more week if you need to" he was worried I could hurt myself again.

“ Dad, I promise everything will be fine"

I leaned in and hugged him before walking to the back door.

“Where are you going?” he asked confused.

“ To run to catch the bus" I explained as if it was the obvious thing. I took my brown boots from the coat closet and put them on.

“ Tell that to Max, who has been waiting for you outside since an hour ago" he simply said while pointing to the window that had a perfect view of our front yard.

My mouth opened and my jaw dropped, while my body slowly followed my dad’s finger direction. I saw him leaning against his car in a fresh reckless manner. His short hair moved in the wind’s direction as he drum his fingers on the car roof. I couldn't help myself and a soft smile formed on my lips.

“ Go with the guy, Jess. Don't give him a hard time. I think he knew you were going to try to sneak out on him" my father's words only made me smile wider.

I waved goodbye to dad and tried not to share my excitement.  I knew he had a girlfriend,  but I couldn't just shut off my feelings for him.

He saw me walking towards the car and immediately his eyes searched for mine. He didn't smile, but the look he gave me was enough to know he was happy to see me. He opened the door for me and then he walked to his side.

“  Good morning" he said in his natural morning voice.

“ Morning”  I whispered not feeling completely comfortable in the same place we kind of argued two days ago.

“ Why didn't you tell me you were going to school?” his voice became a dangerous whisper in my ear.

“ I was busy and I forgot to text you" I tried to sound genuine to cover my horrible excuse. 

“ You're still mad at me" he said tightly. His eyes averted me sideways until I nodded slowly.


“ Jess, I'm making it easier for you. You don't want to know half of the things that are going on" he was hurt, but the reason was a mystery. It only kept me wanting to know more.

“ You came back to my life because you wanted to. I didn't force you to. So why all the secrecy if you were willingly trying to be my friend again?” I was so confused and I felt terribly guilty by being close to him.

He had a girlfriend and I had feelings for him.

“ I want to be your friend. I want to open up to you. I told you, Jess. I need you to save me.” His cracky voice undercovered his frustration and anger.  He breathed deeply letting out a soft sigh while his eyes tried to look for mine.

“ And yet you keep things from me. Important things for what I see. What don't you give your girlfriend the responsibility to save you from whatever is going on?" I really wanted to trust him, but I kept my eyes on the road as I spoke to avoid the shaky feeling inside my heart to show off. 

We were close to school and I knew the conversation was almost over. The last gas station two squares before getting to school came into view.

“This is not the ideal situation for me. It's not that I want to be with her...I have to" his voice broke for a second before his eyes went back to the busy streets in front of us.

To look at him right now, at this moment where he was vulnerable in front of me could only send me to a road that leads to dangerous situations.
So I didn't looked back. I stayed in silence a few seconds trying to understand. 

“ Who's forcing you to be with her?” I asked as confused as before as my eyes looked for his.

His eyes landed on mine and then they looked down to his hands on the steering wheel. He wasn't sure if he should tell me more. By the way his lips contracted in a thin line as he bit inside his lip I could tell he was ashamed of himself. 

“ No one" he whispered slowly without looking at me. He had a lot to explain because right now I wasn't sure I was following him. I arched my thin curvy eyebrows as I waited for more.

He frown before turning right to take the main street where our school was.

“ I dated her a while back. My stepmom introduced us. Since the start  she was spoiled brat, but our families expected us to be together. It wasn't that bad. Sex was good and I just had to be what she wanted to keep her happy"

‘“ then what is the problem?” I needed answers soon. I had to walk through these doors knowing if there was still a chance for me. For my plan.

“ I got tired. Her father is a well known lawyer that studied in Harvard. I broke up with her once and he threaten me to make that call to cut any chance of my future in Harvard" he continued and the more he talked the more ashamed he sounded.

He was in a relationship just to get a chance to go to an university.  That was selfish and shallow. 

“ So, you prefer to be with her and be a slave of her father than to go and  study somewhere else?” I knew I sounded harsh as my voice came out dry as a martini.

“That's what I have dreamed about my entire life, Jess. I don't want to ruin this dream. This dream is the last thing I have to do in my mother's memory. We built this plan together. She left me with the only thing we made together and I need to do this for her" his voice cracked at the mention of his mother and I understood his reasons even if I didn't agree with his decision. 

He parked on an empty spot in front of a willow tree far from the school door, but close enough to get there fast if we walked.  

I wanted to softly brush his frown with the gentle touch of my hand, but I resist it. I stared at him and found a scared Max behind the facade he has been putting off lately. He knew I was staring at him I knew he could feel it when his shoulders tensed up and a half smile froze on his lips.

Then he looked at me and the air left my lungs when I saw the type of look he gave me while his eyes landed on my lips. This wasn't the type of look you give to a friend. There was lust behind it. It only made my heart drum fast in my chest as I felt the little space in the car closing around us. Then he came closer still holding my gaze as I pretended not to be affected by his proximity.

He took a strand of my hair and gently pushed it away from my face while he held a beautiful wide smile on his face.

“ She can't be responsible to save me because she's not you”  he whispered with his silver husky voice while I felt my entire body shiver at how good it felt to hear him say that.

Then we heard a knock on the window that scared the living shit out of both of us. He was still holding my hair when he looked back to his car door to see who interrupted our moment. As soon as his eyes landed on the tall lanky figure he let go of my hair and turned around to open the door.

I took a quick look and a blonde amazingly beautiful girl appeared in front of me. Please God don't let her be the girlfriend.

“ who's that?” I asked him before he opened his door with a worried expression. The same expression was plastered on his face when he replied.

“  My girlfriend”  he murmured and then he was out of the car.