The coffee stain on my skirt burned my tight as I cleaned it up obsessively for the tenth time in the last minute. I couldn't stop thinking about early morning and the encounter with the incredibly perfect girlfriend. I heard the murmurs of the teens in the cafeteria while Mila tried to make conversation with me, but to be honest I was completely out of it. 


Maxwell got out of the car first and I did just in time to see him crush his full lovely lips into hers. It was a short kiss, but the burning sensation that left in my heart was bitter and awfully dreadful. She pushed aside, softly and gently, only to fix her gaze on me when I walked out of the car. Yes, me. 


I felt my hands trembling as if I was caught up doing something bad. I swallowed hard and then I smiled. 


" Hey, I'm Lila" she smiled and held out her hand to greet me. 


" I'm Jess-" I was about to introduce myself when I heard Maxwell voice. 


"--ssalyn" I looked at him completely lost for a moment, but decided to play along. Trusting there was a reason for this. 


" Nice to meet you Jessalyn" her sweet voice only made me feel guilty. She seemed to be sweet and nice and here I was head over heels with her boyfriend. " I hope my boyfriend is not giving you any trouble. He is sometimes a pain in the butt" 


" What are you doing here, love?" Maxwell asked rapidly, fixing all his attention in her and only her. The word 'love' left his lips so easily, but it sounded almost fake. He made that voice he used to do when in freshman, Mr. Patterson used to ask him if he has done one those pranks again. 


" I wanted to see you before I leave for Paris" she whispered looking down at her hands as if she was ashamed of how vulnerable that sounded. 


Oh my god! I feel like the worst person in the world right now.


" You're leaving again?" His voice sounded incredibly sad, but the shine in his eyes said he actually had other feelings about her leaving town. 


" We have to get used to distance, Max" she bathed her eyelashes gently as if she was about to cry. 


I looked down and started to walk away from them however a deep voice called my name. I turned around and found Maxwell looking straight to me and our eyes met for a second. Then my eyes laid on Lila who was also looking at me with a weird look. It was if her lovely features were turning into ice. Hard and cold. 


" Can you take this to Mrs. McGowan? I won't be able to make it to first period" he passed a folder with what I guessed was his essay on Jane Eyre. Then our eyes met for a brief moment. It was so short, but I could see a flick of regret in his eyes and with a small smile he turned back to her. 

  

"Alright," was the only verbal activity my brain could produced under such circumstances. I took the folder from him and walked to the school gates. 


My heart pounding hard against my chest while I felt my hand sweating like crazy. Remember you're Jessica Bradford and not even his girlfriend could intimidate you enough. 


I walked directly to class and handed his essay. He never got back. Not to first period not to any of the other periods left. 


" Hey Jess! Come back to Earth" Mila was snapped her fingers in front of my eyes with a worried expression on her delicate face. 


" I'm sorry I just need to stop thinking about Maxwell. He never came back to school" I whispered softly. I texted her the details about my meeting with his girlfriend after first period.  


" Do you think he's still with her?" Her face showed signs of how disgusting the food in the cafeteria was while she asked me the question. 


" Where else do you think he is? I'm telling you, Mila. I'm not doing this stupid plan anymore. Even if he's not in love with her I think she seriously is" I was already telling her about what has been on my mind since morning. 


" I don't know, Jess. He seems to enjoy this new found friendship with you. What about you start there like trying to get him to remember how good you guys were as friends" she took a dry from her plate and threw it in her mouth with a know it all look.


" That's exactly what I need to change. He already said I'm just a friend and I don't want to be that my entire life" I sighed and let my head down on my arms.  " I fear those words will be written on my stone" 


Mila laughed " You're so dramatic, Jess" 


" Jessica Bradford, Queen of the friend zone " I joked as I lifted my head to look at Mila. She was still laughing when I stomped her foot under the table. She tried to get back to me, but I was faster. " By the way, how are things with Sam?" 


" We decided to take a break," she said after a few seconds. She sounded almost relieved. " He's not seeing someone else, but I think we're not looking for the same things anymore. So I think it was for the best, you know?" Her voice was a soft whisper that made me feel sad. I knew it was for the best. I knew it since the beginning of their relationship, but I would never tell so she could learn and grow from her own experiences. 


" I'm sorry to hear that. I'm here if you need me" I squeezed her hand over the table with a reassuring smile. 


" Mine will be  Mila Portland, the girl on an eternal break" she said imitating a very dramatic voice. We both laughed at our own lame jokes. 


" I will try to stop thinking about him or else I'll fail geometry" I told Mila with determination as I fixed my hair. 


" Stop thinking about who?" My heart literally skipped a beat. My eyes were almost out of their orbit as I silently begged Mila to save me. 


" She has been thinking about a guy lately. She has the biggest crush on him"she smiled devilishly at me while her eyes were glued to the guy behind me. 


Well saved, Mila. How much help are you right now. 


" You have a crush on a guy?" Maxwell asked incredulously, making emphasis on his last word.  


" What are you so surprised? Wait a minute! You thought I was lesbian" it wasn't a question as it came out as matter of fact tone. 


" Don't blame me. There have been a couple of rumors, Jess" he smirked playfully while he took the apple on my tray. I watched him bite it and for a quick moment I wished I was the apple. 


I shook my head lightly trying to get rid of those thoughts. 


" What rumors now?" I asked tired. I have heard a lot of rumors about the reason I reject guys at school, but this one was new.  


" Jessica you definitely need to date someone or else you will graduate with the most unexpected reputation out there" Mila said to me with a motherly tone as if she was worried about my reputation. 


" I have to agree with Mila. The last rumors say you said no to Tom MacMillan. Every girl in school wants him and here you are rejecting him so they now think you must be lesbian" he shrugged his shoulder as if it wasn't important and took another bite. 


" I don't care at all about those stupid rumors. I'm fine as I am right now. I don't need to be in a relationship to look good in front of others" 


Maxwell and Mila looked at each other with complicity as if they knew something I didn't. He lowered his gaze to the table and then took a deep breath and then his eyes met mine. "So you're not lesbian?" Mila whispered. 


She started to laugh as soon as he saw my murderer look. 


" So what about this guy?" He decided to leave the topic out of the conversation, and now I was curious about what was that thing between Mila and him. " It is surprising that you can't stop thinking about him" 


" He is nothing but amazing. Maybe I'm losing my mind, but he makes me a bit vulnerable" I confessed, hoping with every part of me that he didn't notice I was talking about him. 


" Finally someone broke those walls down" he murmured more to himself and for a moment it seemed as if the thought made him feel sad. 


"Yeah I guess" I said resigned to the fact that this guy wasn't going to be mine, but God help me I was going to at least try. 


There was silence. It was awkward and lifted up some unknown tension between us. The bell rang for the next and last period. We had our first meeting to work on our English project. 


" See you guys around! I'm going to French class now" she excused herself rapidly, probably trying to get out of our awkward moment as soon as possible. 


" How was your morning?" I asked shyly as soon as we started to walk to class. I tried  to hide my curiosity about his whereabouts. 


" It was fine. Lila is on her way to Paris and I will have two months of freedom" he said with a mix of relief and peace. We walked side by side to our English class. He took my math book in his hand while I carried my bag. 


 I wasn't expecting him to be happy about it and still I asked the most stupid thing, but you couldn't blame me.  I was hopeful. 


" So are you guys on a break?" I asked with a very confused tone that could describe the frown between my eyebrows. 


" Oh no! She is studying for the rest of the semester abroad. She will be back in January" his voice felt pessimistic behind his monotonous tone. 


" Oh that's good! She seems so nice and sweet. I didn't see the girl you described to me, Max" I knew my words were going to hit a sensitive spot. I wanted to believe he was at least with someone who cared about him. 


" Yeah, she fooled me too. Lila is anything, but those two words, Jess." We entered the class and saw the only seats left were on the back. We weren't as close as before, but some things would never change.   


Without thinking both of us walked to the empty seats. We always say together during freshman year. Classmates already knew and left two empty seats next to each other every class. I sat down and noticed the teacher wasn't there anymore. 


"Why did you tell her my name was Jessalyn?  which by the way is not a good name for me" I complained, pouting. 


" I don't want her to know anything about you. I wasn't even planning on you guys to meet for a while" his voice was so close to me and I noticed he leaned forward to be able to talk to me without other students listening to our conversation. 


He was so close. I felt my body reacts to his voice and his eyes on me. I don't know what was going on with me, but whatever I felt for Max years ago was now more intense than before. 


" I don't know what to say about that. Do you honestly think that you can keep me a secret forever?" I looked at him deadpanned, trying to understand why he didn't want his friend and girlfriend to meet. 


" Listen," he took my hand and searched for my eyes. "the best thing is that she doesn't know a lot about you. I tried to convince her that you are not important to me and just another girl from school. I think she seriously think you're just some random girl...if she knew your real name she would have made your life hell" he whispered rapidly with a cautious tone that made me feel as if was trying to protect me from her. 


" Why would she?" I saw the teacher entered the class and hurried myself to take my notes on our project out. 


He looked to the teacher and then back to me. " She knows how much you mean to me. I told her about you when we started to be friends. Trust me, Jess. If she knew we are hanging out all hell will break loose" he turned to listen to the teacher while he left me there thinking about what kind of person was he dating and most of all about the fact that his hand was still holding mine. 


For a moment I tried to connect the dots. If this girl thought I was a thread then maybe I meant something more than just a friend to Max. At least at some point in his past, but I still needed to hear him answer that question. I wanted to hear from him what I really meant. So after a few minutes I got the courage to call his name. 


" Max," I whispered softly for him to hear me and then he turned his eyes to me with his thick eyebrows raised in a questioning manner. " What do I mean to you?" 




I'm back!!