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I stared at him for a few seconds not believing my eyes. He knocked again making my heart stop and I remembered he was waiting for me to make a move. I didn’t. I wasn’t sure if I should let him come in after what happened.

I spent around ten seconds before I let my rebellious part walk at a slow pace on one foot to grab my crutches.

I thought it could be a bad idea as I pulled down my pj shorts trying to cover my legs, but failing at it. I came close while he waited with a hint of concerned in his eyes. I opened the door. I smiled and my eyes reached his face, my jaw dropped  when I took a closer look at his face. He had a purple eye, his lower lip was swollen and stitches on his left eyebrow.

“What the hell happened to you?” I yelled, still in shock, but taking a few steps back to let him come in.

“Damn, Jess! Please stop yelling, I hurt my ear too.” he said while taking my crutches and laying them on the wall.

“What the heck are you doing?” I squawked freaking out at his sudden gesture, still grabbing myself onto him to not lose my balance.

“Jesus! Jess stop asking so many questions, and let me help you,” he said annoyed at my exaggerated reactions.  He shouldn't blame me. It wasn't common to have him here and looking like that.

I have to be honest. I am worried.

He took me bridal style and waited for a second for me to protest or ask what he was doing again, but I held myself from it. I took a look at him, finding something dark about Max that I haven’t seen before. Now I was curious on what was going on.

He didn’t say a word as he placed me on the bed being ultra careful, helping me sit with my back resting on the headboard.

I restrained myself of asking more questions because if I did I was going to start yelling again.  I waited for him to finish his everlasting moment at taking a look at my room. I shifted uncomfortably a few times feeling awkward under his unexpected presence.

He looked back at me with something like a smile on his face “This room has changed a lot” and then he pointed towards a picture on the wall.

“This is an amazing photo, did you take it?” he asked, laying his blue eyes on me.

I saw the photo and it took me a while to answer his question. Mom and I were in Japan when I was fourteen, it was one of those times I went with her during summer or winter holidays.

“No, my mom did a few years ago”  I replied with my eyes still fixed on the photo.

“Your mom is an amazing photographer, ” he said still looking at the big photo frame on the wall. “Why this photo from all those you mom has taken?”

“The picture on my wall is Aokigahara, an ethereal forest in Japan. The ground below is uneven and riddled with small caves, moss-covered roots growing on top of the dried lava that once flowed there. The soil has a high iron content which interferes with GPS and cell phone signals, according to National Geographic.”
We had a small walk through the path. A guide told us the  forest is very significant, because, people went there to commit suicide.” I made a small pause when I saw him walking towards the bed and then sitting beside me. He made a gesture for me to continue.

“The forest is so dense that people can get lost without any effort. People choose this one because it would be almost impossible to find their bodies”

“Why would you keep it if the story is so sad?” he asked, curiosity shining in his eyes.

“It is a reminder” I said, thinking about the day I went there. I felt like the world and life took a different meaning for me.

“Of what?” he asked getting closer, resting his head on the headboard.

“Not going into a forest like that in life, you know, to not let myself die or quit life without fighting. To not get too deep into something that will only make me lose myself. It reminds me of how precious my life and family is” I said finally looking back at him. His eyes fixed on me showing a mix of emotions that I couldn’t name. He lowered his gaze and for a moment he got lost in his own thoughts.

“Sometimes, a person loses themselves because life gets in the way. A lot of bad things happen to good people. Sometimes family is not a treasure anymore, but a curse” he said still looking at me, and I saw the battle of what he was going through inside his tanzanite blue stones.

I stared at his perfect blue eyes for a few seconds and then looked at my intertwined hands. I was wrong about him. The more I spent time with him, the more I realized he was still broken. I fought the need to know the answers about his presence in my room and what happened to his face.

We stayed in silence for a while until I couldn’t help myself.

“Max, what happened?” I looked at his face again and he understood what I was talking about.

“I got in a fight, ” he said in a nonchalant way, not looking at me, but the photographs on the nightstand. A picture of my family, my trips around the world and lastly one of us at the age of fifteen. He has it on his hand when he answered my question with wistfulness and bittersweet smile.

“A fight? How?”  I insisted. I knew  it was a surprise for him to see that picture, but I couldn't just get rid of it. That photo was also a reminder...of us.

“I was doing something you wouldn’t approve, then things got ugly. I had to defend myself, ” he put the picture back and got up while slowly licking his lower lip.

“What were you doing?” I lowered my voice to a whisper in a way to keep the secret between us.

“You know, for not being friends, you worry a lot about me.” he said with a perfect half smile showing the playful Max I know. Still his eyes said something else.

“I--” I tried to deny it, but couldn’t find the words which led me to roll my eyes and smile. He laughed at my fail attempted to deny the obvious.

“Me and some friends were gambling and we lost. We didn’t have the money to pay those guys and shit happened. They started the fight, Jess, don't look at me like that.” he tried to defend his actions, but as he avoided my eyes I saw the remorse in them.

“Gambling? Why would you go gambling without money? Do you have a death wish?” I asked, trying to hold my anger. I wasn’t surprised that he was gambling there have been rumors about it in school.

“Some might think I do, ” he stopped walking around my room and looked at me. “I’m used to this so don’t worry about me”

“You should not be. I thought those rumors weren’t true,” I said, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, anymore” he replied still looking at me.

“Why do you have this sudden urge to be friends, Max? Why now?” I asked after a few seconds in which I contemplated his eyes. The mood in the room turned darker and tense when his eyes transformed into close book again.

“I have my own selfish reasons, Jess” he rested his body against the door frame while he crossed his arms on his chest.

“Which are?” I asked, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.

“What makes you think I will tell you?” he smiled with a hint of humor.

“Some day you will,” I said with confidence.

Max was a mystery to me. At some point in the last few days I realized he wasn't the perfect charming guy I thought he was.

"I'm not sure about it, yet” he said, motionless, still leaning against the doorframe. His hair was shorter than the last time I saw him, but it looked good on him.

I couldn’t help but to stare at him. He had that kind of features that can make you stop and stare at him for a long time. I always thought he was used to the attention of how sudden people could freeze naturally and look his way and they give him a nonchalant gaze and wide grin. They think he notices them when his tall and confident glorious body pass by them. He doesn't. He was so modest and humble that it didn’t help all the poor girls that kept falling for him. It only made them fall harder. Regardless of all the opportunities that kept coming his way he never broke a heart. I have never seen him with someone enough time to break her heart. They all knew he wasn’t one to fall in love. He was handsome, but the most attractive  feature of his was how beautiful he was inside.

“Are you staring at me, Jess?” a small smirked curled his lips onto the contour of his dimple.

“Could you blame me? It has been a long time” I said without hiding it. I knew it was too early to start asking questions about his life. The  fact that he was here made it clear he needed somewhere to be and with someone who cares.

“I don’t. Lately I have been staring at you a lot” he confessed with a wide smile that took my breath away.

I smiled at him as I felt my heart race as if I was running a marathon.

“I am hungry,” I said with a wide smile on my lips “You should go downstairs and find something for us”

He stared at me for a minute surprised that I dropped the subject without asking more questions. After a few seconds he came  to the conclusion that I understood what he needed from me.

“What? Do you want me dead? Because that's what your father will do to me,” he asked, walking in my room and closing the door.

“Dad isn’t home. He went to a conference for a few days” I giggled.

“You should have started with that information Jess” he said as he breathed relieved. “What are you in the mood for?”

“I’m not sure...” I thought about the options as I bit my lower lip.

“You look cute when you do that,” he said while grinning, and his face lighted up.

“Surprise me.” I finally said, while releasing my lip from my teeth. I knew a small blush was creeping in my face.

He nodded and walk out the door towards the stair. I stayed in bed thinking about how things changed between us in a few weeks.

After fifteen minutes or so he came back with two plates in his hands and two sodas under his chin. I couldn’t help the giggle that came out of my mouth when I saw him. He scowled at me and passed my plate as I took the soda under his chin, feeling his soft short beard caressing my hand.

“Pancakes! With strawberry milkshake!” I screamed pleased with the widest smile on my face.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said, in a condescending manner. “I know it is your favorite. It is my way to make it up for calling you a bitch”

“This is a good way to apologize” I said while taking a sip of the milkshake when something made me stop “Wait. How do you know?”

“Long story” he smirked as he took the spot next to me on the other side of the bed.

“Max... How?” I asked, as my persistent self.

“9th grade. Mrs. Adams. We made a composition about ourselves and she asked us to pick one of our classmate's and keep it a secret--”

“Oh...” I didn't let him finish since I remembered that day. It was so embarrassing to go over to my teacher and ask for that piece of composition. “And we had to keep it until the end of the school year. We had to write a composition about the person we chose...”

“Yes,” he said still devouring the pancakes.

“I still don’t understand,” I said, looking from my plate to him.

“I picked your composition and that’s how I know a few things about you. That composition is the reason why we became friends in the first place” he smiled, a bit embarrassed.

“I never read your composition about me.” I said, realizing who had my personal and emotional composition.

“And I never read mine...” he pointed out. He was in front of me with his legs crossed still eating when realization hit me.

There was a high percent that he knew it was me who picked his composition. It made me nervous to think he had known this for years now, the most embarrassing secret I had. I felt my face getting hotter as he looked at me. I looked back at him in shock.

“I went on a trip with mom that year but, I handed the teacher my composition before I left.” I said, unsure. I made sure to leave him what I wrote for when he came back. I finished my food and placed the plate next to me.

“Remember I wasn’t able to go to school during the end of the school year.” he said, self-contained,

“I know” I whispered. 

“I never got the chance to leave mine since I left in such a hurry, but I made sure to send it by email” he continued.

“Oh! I guess somewhere in our teacher’s files must our essays.”

“Now it might be awkward for you to read mine,” he said, taking our plates and standing up from bed.

“Why?” I asked him out of curiosity. Nothing could be more awkward than this moment. Max in my room and eating pancakes at twelve at night after two years of not talking to each other.

“Let's say, it was written in a very vulnerable state of mind.” he said, a soft laugh, made its way out of his lips while he put everything on my TV stand.

“Nothing could be more awkward than you reading mine,” I said with a small smile as I put my hair in a ponytail.

“Why would it be awkward? It is someone else's composition,” he said, leaning on the tv stand as he put his scanned the dvds I had.

“Yeah... About that,” I started to say, but he cut me off with his melodious voice.

“Unless you had mine,” he said as if it was a mind blowing discovery. He saw my idiotic smile as I tried to hide the embarrassment in my face. “You did!”

“Yes,that’s why we became friends in the first place” I quotes him, still thinking about disappearing into a hole.

He stood there looking at me with his deep blue ocean eyes and then he smiled trying not to hurt his lip. He did something I wasn’t expecting. He walked towards me and sat in front of me, being careful not to touch my foot. He got even closer, so close he reached a strand of my hair and put it behind my ear.  After a few seconds in which I wanted to die from the almost had attack he was causing in me, he spoke.

“Because of these little coincidences, I still believe that we must be friends again” he said, lost in his own thoughts but still too close to me.

I could smell his colony and if I tried, also count his eyelashes. He knew he was too close, but it seemed as if he didn’t understand the effect he was having on me.

“Why should we let those coincidences tell us what to do?” I asked, to wash off my thoughts and think what was better for us.

He looked at me with something more than deepness, it was a mix of nostalgia and sadness. It made my heart break to see him so vulnerable for the first time.And then he spoke. He said something that would give my entire life a 180 degree turn.

“Because you can save me” he wasn’t looking at me, but the moon outside.

I wasn’t a person to save anyone. I wasn’t strong or have money to help him. I am way too afraid of life and changes. I still managed to ask the only question I had in my mind as I stare at him.

“From what?” I breathed out more like a whisper, intimidated by his possible answer.

“Myself” he said, finally, looking at me for a fraction of a second before he gently kissed my cheek, opened the door and left.