My Story isn't Over Yet! Chapter 4 Warning signs of Abuse
Signs of Abuse!
As you have read in chapter 3, I had mentioned that we as victims have to warn millions of individuals of the many signs of abuse to watch out for, how to prepare & put into practice; ways to avoid abuse, how to prevent the abuse from occuring, & most importantly, how to defend ourselves against these evil and dangerous perpetrators!
Anyone at anytime can be abused! These abusers can come from all sorts of backgrounds! Whether it be upstanding citizens, people we associate with on a daily basis, co-workers, or even a close friend or relative. Literally anyone! It is very important to remember and take into account, that the majority of abusers can be violent, not just physically but in several other ways as well. There are however, other forms of violence as well. Such as sexual, mental, emotional, and verbal. These abusers and prepetrators will destructively abuse their own child, partner, spouse, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, nephew, and niece or even a complete stranger.
An abuser will often deny he/she is an abuser. They don't or won't want to see the seriousness in it, and how detrimental it can be on another individual. An abusive person will hunt for their prey. They will look for weakness in a person. They can and will use that to their advantage. Then once they have their victim, right where they want them, they will use their victim as an object. Their victim will be someone who is very easy to control and manipulate. Then they will take it a step further and start using them as their property or their sexual toy.
An abuser will usually be somebody that has very low self-esteem and feels that they have little power and control over themselves or the world. He or she may appear to have it all together. When in all reality, they feel internally inadequate about themselves.
An abuser will try to deny their behavior or actions. They will blame their violence on several different factors. Such as drugs, alcohol, stress at work or home, their marriage, their partners, or their spouses behavior.
An abuser may come off as being a, pleasant and charming person. They may put on a show out in public or around others, of being a nice person.
Here are the Warning signs to look out for!
1. Abusers and perpetrators will start becoming jealous of who you are hanging out with
2. Abusers and perpetrators will try everything to manipulate you
3. Abusers and perpetrators will start becoming very possessive and want you all to themselves.
4. Abusers and perpetrators will start trying to control every aspect of your life. They will start telling you, who you can and cant hang around with
5. Abusers and perpetrators will try to control your finances, and what you spend your money on
6. Abusers and perpetrators will want to come with you everywhere, so they know you're not cheating on them
7. Abusers and perpetrators will start asking or telling you to do out of the norm, erratic and ubseen things, either to them or for them
8. Abusers and perpetrators will start to force themselves on you, against your will.
9. Abusers and perpetrators will even go as far as spiking your drink when you're not looking, to take advantage of you for their own sick, twisted, and demented satisfaction.
10. Abuser and perpetrators will start becoming very ill tempered. Or will develop a strong and short anger problem over the littlest things
11. Abusers and perpetrators will start to fantasize about some pretty sick and twisted things, and will want you to act out those fantasy's for them
12. Abusers and perpetrators can and will sabotage your work or school
13. Abusers and perpetrators will abuse other children or animals
14. Abusers and perpetrators will dumb you down in public or around friends and family, but play it off as if they are joking
15. Abusers and perpetrators will try everything they can to embarrass, harass, and humiliate you at work or school
16. Abusers and perpetrators will also time you while you are on an errand or at the store. If you're gone longer than they anticipated, they will start to blow up your phone or come looking for you
17. Last but not least: Abusers and perpetrators can become very unpredictable on many occasions
I cannot stress this enough to everyone out there! Please take heed of every bit of advice and information about abuse as possible! Do not become or stay that victim! Know the warning signs! Speak Up!
Ways to Avoid Abuse!
First and foremost, do your research!! Learn everything you possibly can about abuse so you, yourself won't become a victim!
Always make sure when meeting a stranger, always meet them in a public place!
Always be aware of your surroundings
Pay attention to people's behaviors! Look for behaviors and actions in other people, that may display signs they could possibly be an abuser or perpetrator
Be assertive but firm with what you want, and don't want in a relationship
Stop it or get far away from it and make the necessary changes before things get out of control
Learn to recognize! Go with your gut feeling!
Never walk anywhere by yourself where, perpetrators are hunting for their prey.
Don't come across to vulnerable
Always keep your purse close by you. Always carry mace everywhere you go!
Take a self defense classes so you'll know how to defend and protect yourself
Last but not least! But Most importantly! If you have children, always watch for unusual behaviors that they could display that's out of the norm, that show they are or have been a victim of sexual, physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
Take the necessary steps to track who and where the abuse is coming from and stop it from repeating immediately!
Teach, Teach, Teach, your children that it's Not ok for anyone to touch them in their private parts! Teach them to come to you Immediately if anything like that happens!
Teach them how to say "No!"
Teach your children to tell a trusted adult, if someone tries to touch them inappropriately
Don't ever have someone you don't know, or feel comfortable with, watch your children
Last but not least, but most importantly teach your children to call 911
For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911. Emergency situations include a recent threat of violence, recent act of violence or if your safety or someone else’s safety is in imminent danger.
Crisis Hotlines:
(All are 24 hours a day unless otherwise noted)
ChildHelp National Child Abuse Hotline:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) | www.childhelp.org
ChildHelp can help connect survivors to counseling; residential treatment services; children's advocacy centers; therapeutic foster care; group homes; child abuse prevention and education and training.
As you have read in chapter 3, I had mentioned that we as victims have to warn millions of individuals of the many signs of abuse to watch out for, how to prepare & put into practice; ways to avoid abuse, how to prevent the abuse from occuring, & most importantly, how to defend ourselves against these evil and dangerous perpetrators!
Anyone at anytime can be abused! These abusers can come from all sorts of backgrounds! Whether it be upstanding citizens, people we associate with on a daily basis, co-workers, or even a close friend or relative. Literally anyone! It is very important to remember and take into account, that the majority of abusers can be violent, not just physically but in several other ways as well. There are however, other forms of violence as well. Such as sexual, mental, emotional, and verbal. These abusers and prepetrators will destructively abuse their own child, partner, spouse, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, nephew, and niece or even a complete stranger.
An abuser will often deny he/she is an abuser. They don't or won't want to see the seriousness in it, and how detrimental it can be on another individual. An abusive person will hunt for their prey. They will look for weakness in a person. They can and will use that to their advantage. Then once they have their victim, right where they want them, they will use their victim as an object. Their victim will be someone who is very easy to control and manipulate. Then they will take it a step further and start using them as their property or their sexual toy.
An abuser will usually be somebody that has very low self-esteem and feels that they have little power and control over themselves or the world. He or she may appear to have it all together. When in all reality, they feel internally inadequate about themselves.
An abuser will try to deny their behavior or actions. They will blame their violence on several different factors. Such as drugs, alcohol, stress at work or home, their marriage, their partners, or their spouses behavior.
An abuser may come off as being a, pleasant and charming person. They may put on a show out in public or around others, of being a nice person.
Here are the Warning signs to look out for!
1. Abusers and perpetrators will start becoming jealous of who you are hanging out with
2. Abusers and perpetrators will try everything to manipulate you
3. Abusers and perpetrators will start becoming very possessive and want you all to themselves.
4. Abusers and perpetrators will start trying to control every aspect of your life. They will start telling you, who you can and cant hang around with
5. Abusers and perpetrators will try to control your finances, and what you spend your money on
6. Abusers and perpetrators will want to come with you everywhere, so they know you're not cheating on them
7. Abusers and perpetrators will start asking or telling you to do out of the norm, erratic and ubseen things, either to them or for them
8. Abusers and perpetrators will start to force themselves on you, against your will.
9. Abusers and perpetrators will even go as far as spiking your drink when you're not looking, to take advantage of you for their own sick, twisted, and demented satisfaction.
10. Abuser and perpetrators will start becoming very ill tempered. Or will develop a strong and short anger problem over the littlest things
11. Abusers and perpetrators will start to fantasize about some pretty sick and twisted things, and will want you to act out those fantasy's for them
12. Abusers and perpetrators can and will sabotage your work or school
13. Abusers and perpetrators will abuse other children or animals
14. Abusers and perpetrators will dumb you down in public or around friends and family, but play it off as if they are joking
15. Abusers and perpetrators will try everything they can to embarrass, harass, and humiliate you at work or school
16. Abusers and perpetrators will also time you while you are on an errand or at the store. If you're gone longer than they anticipated, they will start to blow up your phone or come looking for you
17. Last but not least: Abusers and perpetrators can become very unpredictable on many occasions
I cannot stress this enough to everyone out there! Please take heed of every bit of advice and information about abuse as possible! Do not become or stay that victim! Know the warning signs! Speak Up!
Ways to Avoid Abuse!
First and foremost, do your research!! Learn everything you possibly can about abuse so you, yourself won't become a victim!
Always make sure when meeting a stranger, always meet them in a public place!
Always be aware of your surroundings
Pay attention to people's behaviors! Look for behaviors and actions in other people, that may display signs they could possibly be an abuser or perpetrator
Be assertive but firm with what you want, and don't want in a relationship
Stop it or get far away from it and make the necessary changes before things get out of control
Learn to recognize! Go with your gut feeling!
Never walk anywhere by yourself where, perpetrators are hunting for their prey.
Don't come across to vulnerable
Always keep your purse close by you. Always carry mace everywhere you go!
Take a self defense classes so you'll know how to defend and protect yourself
Last but not least! But Most importantly! If you have children, always watch for unusual behaviors that they could display that's out of the norm, that show they are or have been a victim of sexual, physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
Take the necessary steps to track who and where the abuse is coming from and stop it from repeating immediately!
Teach, Teach, Teach, your children that it's Not ok for anyone to touch them in their private parts! Teach them to come to you Immediately if anything like that happens!
Teach them how to say "No!"
Teach your children to tell a trusted adult, if someone tries to touch them inappropriately
Don't ever have someone you don't know, or feel comfortable with, watch your children
Last but not least, but most importantly teach your children to call 911
For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911. Emergency situations include a recent threat of violence, recent act of violence or if your safety or someone else’s safety is in imminent danger.
Crisis Hotlines:
(All are 24 hours a day unless otherwise noted)
ChildHelp National Child Abuse Hotline:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) | www.childhelp.org
ChildHelp can help connect survivors to counseling; residential treatment services; children's advocacy centers; therapeutic foster care; group homes; child abuse prevention and education and training.
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