Chapter 6
My eyes widened from the curiosity and anxiety of knowing what he wanted to tell me, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest and I kept wondering what made him look this tense. His constant hesitation was quickly driving me up the wall, I was so ambivalent about this, it could either be good or bad and I can't anticipate what's to happen.
"speak up, what do you want to tell me?"
He exhaled deeply then let out the words I never thought I would hear, nothing could have prepared me for what he said and I felt at lost for words.
"I'm going for a short break this weekend to visit my fiancée's family, I may not come back in time to finish the projects so I was hoping you could help me"
You have a fianceé and you could not tell me all this time? How heartless, inconsiderate and self centered can you be.You had me thinking you were someone I could trust but that's not true.
"look I didn't plan for it to come out this way trust me, I was going to tell you but I couldn't find the right time to"
"why did you kiss me?"
At that time it didn't matter why he didn't tell me all along but all I wanted to know was why he led me into thinking we could be something more than friends.
"like I said before my feelings for you are genuine and..."
I interrupted before he could say another word, I was furious and sad at the same time, I allowed him play with my emotions, you can't stop tears from falling down and from what I've always known it's a sign of weakness and I didn't want to let him see that. A tear rolled down from the corner of my eye and I quickly wiped it and turned back to face him.
"why are you with her? One minute you're kissing her and the next minute you're kissing me? What do you take me for? A fool? Do I look that stupid to you? Why would you kiss me knowing that you have a fiancée"
I didn't want to give him the chance to explain cause seeing him made me angry but more angry at myself for been played for.
"look I don't want to speak to you right now so just get the hell out of my house"
I pushed him to the side and shut the door behind me and as soon as I walked in,I slowly slid down the wall then let out a cry that made me wish mom was here to give me a hug and tell me everything will be fine. I can't believe he did this to me, I trusted him and this is how he repaid me? Why would you lead somebody on if you have no intentions of being with them.
I haven't cried this hard in a long time and even though I swore not to cry over a guy I didn't think it would be this hard to stick to my words,nothing is more hurtful than been used and I've never felt this humiliated.
I wanted nothing but to forget everything but it seemed impossible, I took off my clothes which appeared to be stained with the make up and the tears that covered my face, I took a glance in the mirror then dipped my entire body in the hot tub, after a splits seconds I sat up straight and stared at the walls that were as empty as my eyes at that moment.
*
The weekend was sour since the time David told me about his fiancée and I haven't spoken to him since then, I know he'll show up for work and the hardest part will be facing him when he's the most person I want to avoid.My past relationships have never been so serious and I always had it all under control no matter how many times things spiraled out of the way, I never cried for a man let alone confess my feelings for him, I don't believe in love especially after my parents split and I always broke up with the men I dated and never gave them second chances, why did I date them? I was looking for a change but couldn't find it, I guess non of them were able to show me that love exists, I may have a pinch of a heartbreak but deep inside me I know it will wear off, it's just a matter of time which I think might take a while, how can you forget someone that's constantly around you? Do you just ignore them? Or do you pretend to let go of the past and move on with them? Well I'm about to find now cause he just walked in and I hate the way our eyes met, everything's frozen and the only thing I can hear is the beat of my heart.
"speak up, what do you want to tell me?"
He exhaled deeply then let out the words I never thought I would hear, nothing could have prepared me for what he said and I felt at lost for words.
"I'm going for a short break this weekend to visit my fiancée's family, I may not come back in time to finish the projects so I was hoping you could help me"
You have a fianceé and you could not tell me all this time? How heartless, inconsiderate and self centered can you be.You had me thinking you were someone I could trust but that's not true.
"look I didn't plan for it to come out this way trust me, I was going to tell you but I couldn't find the right time to"
"why did you kiss me?"
At that time it didn't matter why he didn't tell me all along but all I wanted to know was why he led me into thinking we could be something more than friends.
"like I said before my feelings for you are genuine and..."
I interrupted before he could say another word, I was furious and sad at the same time, I allowed him play with my emotions, you can't stop tears from falling down and from what I've always known it's a sign of weakness and I didn't want to let him see that. A tear rolled down from the corner of my eye and I quickly wiped it and turned back to face him.
"why are you with her? One minute you're kissing her and the next minute you're kissing me? What do you take me for? A fool? Do I look that stupid to you? Why would you kiss me knowing that you have a fiancée"
I didn't want to give him the chance to explain cause seeing him made me angry but more angry at myself for been played for.
"look I don't want to speak to you right now so just get the hell out of my house"
I pushed him to the side and shut the door behind me and as soon as I walked in,I slowly slid down the wall then let out a cry that made me wish mom was here to give me a hug and tell me everything will be fine. I can't believe he did this to me, I trusted him and this is how he repaid me? Why would you lead somebody on if you have no intentions of being with them.
I haven't cried this hard in a long time and even though I swore not to cry over a guy I didn't think it would be this hard to stick to my words,nothing is more hurtful than been used and I've never felt this humiliated.
I wanted nothing but to forget everything but it seemed impossible, I took off my clothes which appeared to be stained with the make up and the tears that covered my face, I took a glance in the mirror then dipped my entire body in the hot tub, after a splits seconds I sat up straight and stared at the walls that were as empty as my eyes at that moment.
*
The weekend was sour since the time David told me about his fiancée and I haven't spoken to him since then, I know he'll show up for work and the hardest part will be facing him when he's the most person I want to avoid.My past relationships have never been so serious and I always had it all under control no matter how many times things spiraled out of the way, I never cried for a man let alone confess my feelings for him, I don't believe in love especially after my parents split and I always broke up with the men I dated and never gave them second chances, why did I date them? I was looking for a change but couldn't find it, I guess non of them were able to show me that love exists, I may have a pinch of a heartbreak but deep inside me I know it will wear off, it's just a matter of time which I think might take a while, how can you forget someone that's constantly around you? Do you just ignore them? Or do you pretend to let go of the past and move on with them? Well I'm about to find now cause he just walked in and I hate the way our eyes met, everything's frozen and the only thing I can hear is the beat of my heart.
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