Love is a roller-coaster ride, sometimes you don't know that you love someone and sometimes you deny that you love someone despite how you are towards them, at least that's how I feel, I guess for the time being I'll won't be able to understand why I allow this nonsense. Never was I ever to give up my body to somebody who's not mine, nor to cry over a guy who doesn't mean what he says, I thought with these rules they would at least set boundaries but now I feel like I don't know who I am turning in to anymore.

"don't waste your time on someone who doesn't deserve it" it feels like yesterday when mom would constantly tell me this each time she saw me sad, they say a broken heart makes one bitter but the truth is it makes someone smarter, wiser and more responsible. I am not broken, I just hate how he's taking advantage of me and I can't do anything about it.
I shook my head in denial and looked in the mirror, "you can do better than this Adeline, this is not you" I said to myself at least twice then walked out to meet up with the clients. Life goes on and I'm not going to waste it over this.
It can be quite hard facing the one person that's destructing you time and time again but I had to, even though he kept glancing at me a couple of times I didn't care, I kept everything professional during our conversation and I could tell he wasn't pleased with the way I interacted with him through out the meeting.
On my way back to my room he came rushing behind me and at that moment I just wanted to quickly rush in my room and slam the door behind him but he was too fast that he caught up with me. He let out a deep breath as he stood in front of me blocking my way.

"is everything okay? I've been calling you countless times and you've been ignoring me. Did you receive my message this morning?"

At this point I can't stand his presence, I don't feel like hitting him but rather cutting him from my life and I know that's impossible, I rolled my eyes and turned the other way to walk away but then he blocked me again,

" look I am really sorry that I've hurt you so much and I know at this point I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I can't help it when I'm with you. Adeline you're very beautiful and you have such a wonderful heart and I know I don't deserve it. Trust me I'm really confused, I thought I would be able to control what I feel for you but I can't and I know I shouldn't be doing this to you. I..... "
Before he could finish his sentence I interrupted as I let out a little laughter with sarcasm in it.

" I've heard it all before, look David you're wasting my time alright the dinner party will be starting in less than 2 hours and I need go and get ready. Maybe you should talk to your fiancé more often and keep me out of your confused love life."
I pushed him to the side and walked away and at that time I felt strong and in control just like the old days, I'm nobody's toy and no matter how attractive he maybe, he'll never play with me like that anymore, never.

After putting the red lipstick on I brushed my hair one more time letting it loose and sprayed perfume as I looked in the mirror anticipating what this party will be like, I let out a soft deep breath and walked away as I shut the door behind me.
Looks like the party had started a few minutes ago but I walked in anyway as I was looking around for a place to squeeze myself in and join in the conversation, I looked to my right and David was talking to some men and I just completely walked in the opposite direction and found myself among cute men that were stunned by my presence, they couldn't stop complementing me and despite knowing how much attention this tight black dress brings I wore it anyway, perhaps to make someone jealous. I'm not looking for trouble but I hope he'll be focused on me tonight and hopefully will regret playing me like that. The conversation rolled smoothly with the guys and each time he looked at me I put my hand on one of the men's shoulder and giggle, I'm not this type of person but sometimes when you're calling for attention it can make you do desperate things.
During the dance I could tell he wasn't happy about me dancing with someone else, he kept giving me this defeated look and as much as I hate to admit it I love it, we're friends and yet we do crazy things that I don't understand sometimes. We have a complicated relationship that I can't make sense out of,this is so weird.

"can I get you a drink?"

"yes please" I watched this handsome man I had a dance with walk away to get me a drink and I kept wondering why I couldn't be with him or any other man here, why is my heart fixed on somebody else's man, why him of all people?

"hey" a soft deep voice came from behind and the moment I heard it I knew who it was, David.
This should be a happy moment, I finally got his attention but I feel like walking away but like always he makes me frozen and it's hard to escape him. My heart is beating fast, and I'm getting all sweaty and nervous, I can't control what I'm feeling right now and I'm afraid I might do something stupid.