Darkness, cold, silence as usual and soon light. People are going to their works, children are running to school. Everything is the same.

My mom has entered my room.

"How did you sleep?"

"Well."

"It is good, so come to have breakfast."

"Thank you mom, I am not hun... and the door clanged shut even I couldn't manage to see the contemptible expression of my mom's face."

"Morning dad."

"Morning."

"I am going out."

"Where? Take your jacket."

"No the sun is shining.. I'll be late."

"Winter will soon come round and sun? You are in love, yeah?"

"Love? What is it? Ok.. ok I am in a hurry."

And I have left, but really, in a hurry? It is just funny, because I don't even know where to go, I just want to get away. Sometimes I need to drop everything and go, but where? I think they are in our pub. A cup of alcohol will not interfere me right now.

Hours later I am not drunk, just a little stoned.

My phone is ringing again. It's Jackie. I don't think something important has happened, I will call him back later.

"We are to meet today" an sms from my ex. OMG why?                    

"Hey dude it is funny, don't you think so? She loves you, so? It is not up to you let's drink." said Alex and filled the cups with whiskey.

"No Alex, I promised to help her achieve all her dreams, to make her life amazing, to be an answer when she has a question, to be her sunshine when darkness falls. I just promised to be with her and never leave. Ah memories.. memories sometimes I want all back, and sometimes I want far away from all. Maybe she loves me yet, but I don't love her anymore." I said.

"Ha ha ha," Alex laughed and said, "I feel like I am sitting next to a poet, what romantic words dude, good for you."

"Don't care, let's go" I said.

"Where? home?" asked Alex. "Are you insane?"

"No, somewhere there will not be feelings."

"Oh romantic," he laughed, "go there. Hey but wait, do you have anything in mind for dinner tonight?"

"No, but I don't think I can join you." I said.

"What is with you guy? You are going mad." said Alex and they all laughed at me.

"I am going, bye." I said and left.


Walking always was my best medicine, but now it is not, because I am going to meet her. I can't look at her eyes. She is not guilty that I am a beast, she knows how to love, she loves me. And yes! I am a beast.. just nothing living without sense, who always do unforgivable things. I can't keep up playing with her life and feelings. I will just tell her that I want nothing to continue with her. Sorry Telsa.
"Hey Ray, how are you?"  asked Telsa.

"Not bad, what about you Telse?" I asked.

"I have been better, nothing interesting. I just want to tell you something. You know I love you, but loving you just suffers me and first of all you don't love me anymore, or you didn't either. I have another one, a guy who loves me like I love you, but I'm gonna lose you, destroy you from my mind and from me and I will do it with his help. I'm getting married, stay good."


I don't know why, but I wasn't happy because of it. I just was surprised. I didn't expect anything like that.


"Be the happiest girl in the world. Congrats."

She went.

Hate me, destroy me, devastate me, don't forgive me, but forget me Telsa please, do it Telse, do it first for you and for me. I know he held your hand while you grieved for all you had lost because of me, I know I am not even worthy of being your ex-boyfriend, I am just an ex-something, an ex-something.