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HEART ACHE
CHAPTER 5
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SHANE'S POV
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"Mr. Frecker," the patron of the drama club said ,"your performance was...not bad. But to be honest with you it doesn't go beyond that." she remarked. Ouch! It tore my insides. I was very confident that I was going to be lauded for my act but when she broke the news to me, I began to think it wasn't self-confidence after all but mere complacency - maybe.
"I'm sorry but there's something. . . " she struggled to grasp the exact words she wanted to say.

"Shane," my music teacher cut in, "I think what she's trying to say is she has seen this before." he said blatantly. It tightened my stomach. "There's nothing particularly wrong, but we need to see something different. You're still stuck in your comfort zone. You see, if you don't dare to take the risk to step out, you're never going to discover other capabilities." He informed as I stood there crestfallen, my hands by my side with a blue pamphlet in the right.

"Yes,"I nodded when he asked, "Do you get me?" He sighed heavily and said, "Shane you're one of our best drama students, and considering that, we're giving you another chance. You might want to consider other roles. "

"Thank you Sir, " I said and left the stage. I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration. I put all my efforts in the act and they tell me that it's not going to cut it. For a moment there, I was going to hit the roof. I had to practise the more and add more grease to the elbow. I huffed heavily as I leaned against a wall backstage, my eyes lifted to the ceiling.

I exited the room and walked through the hallway, as I headed to the basketball court: it was basketball practice and I needed to let off steam; my muscles were so tensed. I passed by my locker, unlocked it and threw the script in(as though it was to be blamed).

As I dashed to the court, I ran into Kim, and she was with Cassie as always. Cassie made a stop at her locker and rumbled through for something, while she came forward to meet me.

"Hey," she said, "how was the audition?"

"Hmm." I sighed feigning a smile. "The judges said I have to re-audition."

"Why, what's the problem?"

"They said I need to get out of my comfort zone. That's all."
"Oh," she said,"so more practice huh?"

"I guess so," I replied thinking of the stakes, if the act didn't cut it the next time. This time, my absolute all or nothing, I told myself.

"Would you mind helping me with the lines this Saturday?" I asked, burying my fingers in my back pockets.

"I'd love to." She responded excitedly. That was Kim Ambrose, always happy to lend a hand out to help others; a friend in need, she was a friend indeed.

"Great!" I remarked as she averred my notion that she wouldn't turn me down.

"Gotta rush for basketball practice." I stated, "Catch you later."

I said, one hand waving goodbye, then I dashed to the court.

Some of the guys like Marcus and Terry were already in there, but the number wasn't up to the total number. I thanked God the Head Honcho wasn't in already, or he would have had my head for lunch. Coach Joffrey wasn't really bad, in fact, one of the top drawers in the entire region but man he could be a pain in the ass sometimes. He always had punishments for those who were late for practice. It was as though he came with millions of punishments in his head, you're late and you get one. I remember the first day I joined the team in my freshman year. I got there, all ready in my gear. The man walked up to me, asked my name and told me,"Son today you're going to mow my lawn. You hear me?" I nodded timidly, "Yes Sir."

"When you get back home, tell your momma that Pontius Pilate has done it again." I was so terrified that I almost teared but no, I didn't, because I've always been able to put certain things under control. Adding to the gathering of tears, was the fact that my mom was no longer with us. She has passed away in a car accident when...

Yes, he addressed himself as Pontius Pilate. Caster High History had it that some years ago, he punished his boys so bad that they gave him the name. They said the man was so merciless. Yes, I feared him then, but under his mentorship, I and most of the boys took a shine to him.

I joined them and began with some right lay-ups to warm up. From the beginning, I was pretty much making baskets but as we went ahead, I don't know, I just missed them all. I broke rules the early beginner wouldn't and man it sucked. Coach Joffrey arrived some minutes later. He partition the group into teams of two going against each other. I had lost focus and it was so embarrassing to have coach reprimand me in front of the juniors - the second years and first years.

"Shane what's wrong with you? You're all over the place. Come on you need to focus." He cried from beyond the right sideline, where his hands thundered together. I was messing up the whole game and I couldn't stand it. But I tried, though my concentration was no where in the spectator's stream but that of the audience.

After practice, Coach had a brief talk with us which was centred on me. The problem was with me and I admitted. I apologized for my lack of concentration. When he closed us, I rushed to astride my bike and headed to the Tea Cup to do some slinging hash.

When the bike purred to a stop, I got off and run inside through the back. I grabbed an apron from the bakery and wore it as I brisked to the counter. Kris was already in there taking orders and waiting on tables(which actually was my job).

"Hey Kris," I greeted as I took over my 'department' of service.

"Hey Shane, you're late." she said.

"Sorry," I apologized for the second time in the day.

"Table nine," she ushered me, as I carried a cup of coffee coupled up with pie. I delivered to a man in a suit in the corner and returned to the counter.

The bell at the door jingled, signaling the entry of someone. I turned to see that it was Kim and Cassie. They sat down on table number six which was the closest to the window.

Kris passed me an order a bald young man with a long beard holding onto his chin had put before her. She prepared it and then i delivered it to table four. I passed by table six and asked them if they wanted anything. They asked for some chocolate cupcakes and so i hurried to return the order. The bell jingled again.

I turned around to spot Terry with some of the boys around. They sat at a table and began chatting. I took Kim and Cassie's order to their table. As I reached, the rose to their feet, took the pastries from the tray said their goodbyes and left. Terry turned craned his head to steal a glance at them and proceeded with whatever they conversation they were into. I knew that look with Terry. It was the face one had when guilt was eating him up, yet ego and pride did not make it any easier to Apologize.

I served as many people as came in and as the clock neared six, I prayed it ran faster. Man I was so exhausted that I couldn't keep it together. In the mean time while we waited for time to go, Kris and I had mounted the counter and did away with some cakes. Maybe I came up with the idea but hey, Kris was pretty good at covering up. After all, the place did belong to her dad. Stealing was exactly number two on the employee regulations list, after the sunny side up which stated that workers had to plaster smiles on their faces when dealing with customers and be warm as possible. But hey breaking the rules was the most exciting thing. It was once in a million that Mr. Carr was absent and one of such days was today. When the dog are out, the cats get playing.

I got home burnt to a frazzle . My father waited for me so we could have dinner together. He was doing very well trying to mend the relationship we never had; that father-son bond was going to take a long time.

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END OF CHAPTER FIVE

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Always remember;

Some people are so stubborn that before they say yes, they would have said no about twenty times. So never give up on your dream. If it means that much to you, then it's worth the fight.

~GraHen