Chapter four : the Warehouse
"fuck you, one direction"
That was the words which came out of the mouth of a 12 y.o boy whom we caught in the warehouse which we entered (lots of relative pronouns).
he was sleeping on a wooden bed in the middle of the place and by the second we woke him up he began screaming "mothers".
then whined.
then cried.
then began swearing and spitting.
then climbed Mayros's shoulders and hit him and finally he kicked me... Where the sun don't shine, and that was it.
So we tied that fudging whiney toddler to the bed and shut him up with a tape.
"where is your Friends" asked Mayros.
" or mother" i added
"what? " Mayros turned At me with his eyebrows crossed with disbelief:
"one of those bitches had a baby? "
" wow woah! Look At Mayros Bailey swearing " i said laughing, i glanced at Mayros, he was For real.
" tell us where are your mother"
The kid started humming.
" tell us where is she! " i screamed At the kid then looked at Mayros "This kid is so irritating, he doesn't answer my questions"
"that's because his mouth is taped, einstein"i looked at the kid and realized that Mayros's words are true and i was dumb SO i smiled goofily, Mayros face palmed.
I took the tape off then Just Like the bullet his words came out loud and quick:
"fuck you one direction " then he looked at Mayros and said:
" you're Old, you're more Like a one republic " that was when i burst out laughing.
" i started to like this kid "
" he insulted you "
" yeah i know, if i was a girl, he is SO funny i would let him fuck me For real "
" sorry bro, i don't fuck garbage" the kid said in disgust and Mayros laughed so hard his eyes teared and said :
" you're right, i started to Like this kid" then he took a deep breath.
and smack! Slapped the boy's face :
" are you going to Be a smart ass or you are going to tell us where your mother is because This pursue took SO long and i started getting mad"
" yeah, tell us mdrfudger "
" do You wanna know where my mothers are, they are mothers by the way, i Have ni.. "
" yes, tell us" Mayros interrupted ( and that was the worst thing he did)
"yeah, cut the crap" ( i wish i didn't say that)
" really wanna know? " the kid asked in a thin voice, as if he inhaled some helium (here it comes)
" yeah kiddo " i said (fudge that)
" they are."
" aha? "
" right"
"yes? "
" behind"
"speak fast toddler "
" you"
"what? " me and Mayros synced and turned around to meet face to face with a group of women angry as fudge, looking At us with murderous intent, there fangs were showing through lips which are covered in red. They were vampires, and it looks Like they have just returned From a hunt.
" crap! " we both synced with fear.
" mothers, they Slapped me! "
"thay said bad stuff about you, kill them mommys"
"no we didn't!" i said smiling sheepisly.
"don't argue with the kid JJ, run! " that was Mayros's last words before i started running as if hell is behind me...
Or as if a bunch of vamp-moms (or mompires because it sounds better) are behind me.
"aren't we supposed to hunt them?" that what Mayros said to me while we were running for our lives.
"good point, but not when we are only two and they are..." i looked behind me to count our Pursuers "nine... Nine frigging vampires"
"that's just Catastrophantastic" replied Mayros.
" now the hunted became the hunter" i said then cackled.
"JJ, it's not the time dude"
___
And here ladies and gentlemen, we reach the point of the story when you know Why we were chased by nine mompires.
Let's take a quick Stop and Forget me running Like hell to Save myself and Just think...
Why does ed sheeran's "shape Of You" has the same beat as sia's "cheap thrills"? Has anybody noticed that (other than conor maynard) really ?
I know it's not the time but my mind is itching because of it.... Anywho, back to you with us running From mompires...
____
"SO what are we gonna do?"
"I've got an idea" Mayros implied between his increasing breaths.
"tell me"
"i need you to stall them SO i can get to the truck "
I freaked out and screamed :
"you want me to stall NINE, FEMALE, VAMPIRES? I'm not that attractive ! "
" Believe me, i Have a plan, i Have a Thing in the truck" then he looked At me and i understood what he meant so, we split up.
i screamed At the mompires:
"come and get me soccer moms, and yeah, i really didn't Like singing to you that night" and i ran to the kid's bed , and they were too angry, and stupid, that they Followed me.
Mayros hid until they were all after me, then ran towards the door on the other end of the warehouse, went to the truck, got out Two guns with red paint balls in them then rushed behind the mompires and screamed:
" open up bitches!"
The mompires ran towards him, SO did i, i reached him before they did, he Handed me a gun and together we started playing shoot the mouth with the ladies.
Every mompire with an open mouth received a Paintball loaded with dead man's blood in her throat.
(And if don't know the trick, let me enlighten you, vampires can only Be killed by cutting off their heads, no wooden toothpick Can do shit, and if you want to slow them down, inject or feed them with dead man blood, Or a woman...i'm not sexest, it's Just a name...i didn't even name it, it was before my time... whatever )
soon all The mompires were down on the floor, we tied them all up together and the kid, well he turned out to Be a vampire too he was a born vamp, twilight style if you know what i mean.
Looking around the warehouse we found some people who were drained to death and some were alive, so we freed them and Mayros found lots of blood bags in the basement of the warehouse, it was a very Big nest.
SO it's Official! those mompires are bad guys and they needed a New neck cut...got it? OH god, I'm funny.
" where is the bag! " i asked.
" what bag? " said one of them, Mayros punched her.
" i said where is the bag they contained our ma'am's spell book? Tell me or i will kill the kid " he held the kid by his neck, the kid tried to move, Mayros shot him with a paint ball in his mouth, the kid's fangs showed up and he began Crying one of the women flinched and started speaking :
" OH that bag! We sold it, to a werewolf pack nearby, they needed the spell book"
" how did they know it contained that book and what is it? "
" we put on ebay "
" what? " me and Mayros synced with surprises.
" it's kinda our gig" said mina/pretto , she was the one that stole it:
" we steal Things then put the good stuff on ebay and the rest we take"
The first woman continued:
"we took the bag, the phone and money and sold it to the locals, we throw the journal away, the book _ which we soon learned it was a spell book _ looked precious SO we posted it on ebay and a werewolf pack nearby wanted to buy it, they said it might contain an important spell which could make them silver-proof. We sold it for 10 grands! "
" where are they now? " i asked but answered nobody, SO Mayros lift a hatchet he For From the truck and put it near the kid's neck, the mompires all screamed with fear.
"they are in an abandoned house 15 minutes away, you will recognize it, it's SO obvious"
" ok, thanks"
" and goodbye" said one of the mompires which was no longer weakened by the dead man's blood, and jumped towards me and the others tried to get free.
Rapidly, Mayros throw me another hatchet and together, we ended that nest.
That was the words which came out of the mouth of a 12 y.o boy whom we caught in the warehouse which we entered (lots of relative pronouns).
he was sleeping on a wooden bed in the middle of the place and by the second we woke him up he began screaming "mothers".
then whined.
then cried.
then began swearing and spitting.
then climbed Mayros's shoulders and hit him and finally he kicked me... Where the sun don't shine, and that was it.
So we tied that fudging whiney toddler to the bed and shut him up with a tape.
"where is your Friends" asked Mayros.
" or mother" i added
"what? " Mayros turned At me with his eyebrows crossed with disbelief:
"one of those bitches had a baby? "
" wow woah! Look At Mayros Bailey swearing " i said laughing, i glanced at Mayros, he was For real.
" tell us where are your mother"
The kid started humming.
" tell us where is she! " i screamed At the kid then looked at Mayros "This kid is so irritating, he doesn't answer my questions"
"that's because his mouth is taped, einstein"i looked at the kid and realized that Mayros's words are true and i was dumb SO i smiled goofily, Mayros face palmed.
I took the tape off then Just Like the bullet his words came out loud and quick:
"fuck you one direction " then he looked at Mayros and said:
" you're Old, you're more Like a one republic " that was when i burst out laughing.
" i started to like this kid "
" he insulted you "
" yeah i know, if i was a girl, he is SO funny i would let him fuck me For real "
" sorry bro, i don't fuck garbage" the kid said in disgust and Mayros laughed so hard his eyes teared and said :
" you're right, i started to Like this kid" then he took a deep breath.
and smack! Slapped the boy's face :
" are you going to Be a smart ass or you are going to tell us where your mother is because This pursue took SO long and i started getting mad"
" yeah, tell us mdrfudger "
" do You wanna know where my mothers are, they are mothers by the way, i Have ni.. "
" yes, tell us" Mayros interrupted ( and that was the worst thing he did)
"yeah, cut the crap" ( i wish i didn't say that)
" really wanna know? " the kid asked in a thin voice, as if he inhaled some helium (here it comes)
" yeah kiddo " i said (fudge that)
" they are."
" aha? "
" right"
"yes? "
" behind"
"speak fast toddler "
" you"
"what? " me and Mayros synced and turned around to meet face to face with a group of women angry as fudge, looking At us with murderous intent, there fangs were showing through lips which are covered in red. They were vampires, and it looks Like they have just returned From a hunt.
" crap! " we both synced with fear.
" mothers, they Slapped me! "
"thay said bad stuff about you, kill them mommys"
"no we didn't!" i said smiling sheepisly.
"don't argue with the kid JJ, run! " that was Mayros's last words before i started running as if hell is behind me...
Or as if a bunch of vamp-moms (or mompires because it sounds better) are behind me.
"aren't we supposed to hunt them?" that what Mayros said to me while we were running for our lives.
"good point, but not when we are only two and they are..." i looked behind me to count our Pursuers "nine... Nine frigging vampires"
"that's just Catastrophantastic" replied Mayros.
" now the hunted became the hunter" i said then cackled.
"JJ, it's not the time dude"
___
And here ladies and gentlemen, we reach the point of the story when you know Why we were chased by nine mompires.
Let's take a quick Stop and Forget me running Like hell to Save myself and Just think...
Why does ed sheeran's "shape Of You" has the same beat as sia's "cheap thrills"? Has anybody noticed that (other than conor maynard) really ?
I know it's not the time but my mind is itching because of it.... Anywho, back to you with us running From mompires...
____
"SO what are we gonna do?"
"I've got an idea" Mayros implied between his increasing breaths.
"tell me"
"i need you to stall them SO i can get to the truck "
I freaked out and screamed :
"you want me to stall NINE, FEMALE, VAMPIRES? I'm not that attractive ! "
" Believe me, i Have a plan, i Have a Thing in the truck" then he looked At me and i understood what he meant so, we split up.
i screamed At the mompires:
"come and get me soccer moms, and yeah, i really didn't Like singing to you that night" and i ran to the kid's bed , and they were too angry, and stupid, that they Followed me.
Mayros hid until they were all after me, then ran towards the door on the other end of the warehouse, went to the truck, got out Two guns with red paint balls in them then rushed behind the mompires and screamed:
" open up bitches!"
The mompires ran towards him, SO did i, i reached him before they did, he Handed me a gun and together we started playing shoot the mouth with the ladies.
Every mompire with an open mouth received a Paintball loaded with dead man's blood in her throat.
(And if don't know the trick, let me enlighten you, vampires can only Be killed by cutting off their heads, no wooden toothpick Can do shit, and if you want to slow them down, inject or feed them with dead man blood, Or a woman...i'm not sexest, it's Just a name...i didn't even name it, it was before my time... whatever )
soon all The mompires were down on the floor, we tied them all up together and the kid, well he turned out to Be a vampire too he was a born vamp, twilight style if you know what i mean.
Looking around the warehouse we found some people who were drained to death and some were alive, so we freed them and Mayros found lots of blood bags in the basement of the warehouse, it was a very Big nest.
SO it's Official! those mompires are bad guys and they needed a New neck cut...got it? OH god, I'm funny.
" where is the bag! " i asked.
" what bag? " said one of them, Mayros punched her.
" i said where is the bag they contained our ma'am's spell book? Tell me or i will kill the kid " he held the kid by his neck, the kid tried to move, Mayros shot him with a paint ball in his mouth, the kid's fangs showed up and he began Crying one of the women flinched and started speaking :
" OH that bag! We sold it, to a werewolf pack nearby, they needed the spell book"
" how did they know it contained that book and what is it? "
" we put on ebay "
" what? " me and Mayros synced with surprises.
" it's kinda our gig" said mina/pretto , she was the one that stole it:
" we steal Things then put the good stuff on ebay and the rest we take"
The first woman continued:
"we took the bag, the phone and money and sold it to the locals, we throw the journal away, the book _ which we soon learned it was a spell book _ looked precious SO we posted it on ebay and a werewolf pack nearby wanted to buy it, they said it might contain an important spell which could make them silver-proof. We sold it for 10 grands! "
" where are they now? " i asked but answered nobody, SO Mayros lift a hatchet he For From the truck and put it near the kid's neck, the mompires all screamed with fear.
"they are in an abandoned house 15 minutes away, you will recognize it, it's SO obvious"
" ok, thanks"
" and goodbye" said one of the mompires which was no longer weakened by the dead man's blood, and jumped towards me and the others tried to get free.
Rapidly, Mayros throw me another hatchet and together, we ended that nest.
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