Hidden
I smile I laugh I help  I fake it all I have gone through years without a blink of hesitation  As I smile As I laugh As I help,  my heart chips away, bit by bit Nothing I do is real anymore I have no one to comfort me when I cry So I pretend instead I pretend that all things are good and happy, my negative emotions stored away in a warehouse of old things I don’t need anymore So when I leave the comfort of my house, my tears dry, my heart is devoid of emotion and my fake smile is plastered onto my face So when I go to school I smile like I would after years of practice So when I go to lunch I laugh like nothing is wrong So when I sit down in the classroom I help other students like I understand what is going on But when I come home, the facade is over When I come home, all the walls I build break and crumble, leaving a pile of rubble When I lay down on my bed, a slow trickle of tears meets my pillow My chest heaves and my heart asks why it holds such a burden My eyes burn and my stomach churns at the prospect of keeping my true self hidden away  I drift away from this world, making up it’s own fantasies and dreams I drown in the beauty of a story and my heart begins to pump again My stomach has calmed down, my chest beats as it usually does  And my mind swirls And so I remember, My heart may be cracked and broken and jagged, but it is still beating and that is all that matters -A
2021-02-23 00:18:11
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