❝ everything started from somewhere ❞

the murks sink into my lungs, like bad cigarettes in a dirty ashtray, while making me suffocate, on my own remorse and agony, and just when my heartbeat slows down, i feel all my bad aberrations, that i've ever made in my useless life. but you were not an aberration, not even a good one. you were my favorite person, the last ray of sunshine in my worthless heart, the one, who made me feel like i was enough, like i was capable of being delighted, and you showed me all the happiness that you could. and you made me feel whole, like i'm not worthless, like i'm not useless, like i'm a good person.

cluj-napoca, romania
2020, january 20.
dorottya

it was a, dark bitter january day, when they assuredly met. and, when she first saw him, she thought to herself, he were so beautiful, with such less sadness in his gorgeous eyes; he saw her; their brown eyes met. and she instantly fell in love with him. love at first, she can say.
it was after a shitty day at their different schools, but after they met at the entrance of sora shopping center. their meeting spot. he was waiting for her, in the shades of leaf, while looking at the people who run and walk, through the streets, or the kids who came from their last class at school, or people who went in the back of the center to smoke a cancer stick.
they were there, and everywhere, it was all weird and all beautiful at just the same time. they met through a kind of dating site, on the precious instagram. and when she saw him on that page, she liked him at first sight, obviously for his looks first, but eventually they started talking, chatting, like normal people in the twenty-first century would do.
"oh-" he said, as he saw her. she was wearing military cargo trousers, with a balck sherpa denim jacket, but she wasn't wearing any makeup, and he still thought that she was the most beautiful, among other girls.
they started walking, while going through the little streets in cluj. they barely said anything, while strolling to the café. makeba, if she remembers quite well, the name of the place. then they settled down on a table for two.
as they looked through the menu, she started staring at him, rather than on the card. she was searching for eye contact, which she couldn't find.
"what are you having?" he asked. she smiled softly, and started answering.
"a strawberry lemonade." she said, then smiled again. he asked for the waitress to step by their table, and as the attendant came, he said that he wants nachos, and a glass of water. then the waitress looked at her and she said she wants the straberry lemonade, for eleven ron.
the attendant was the one who left, and they started talking. she doesn't even remember about what, but they did, and thats what matters much. even if mostly he was the only one, who spoke.
while leaving the café she started to speak, and he was smiling at her. it was occult and funky, but they were genuinely happy, while talking to each other, and thinking on about what should they say to the other person.
then they sat down on a bench, at the central park, whilst they kept talking and talking and talking. they were expressing pure tenderness, with some kind of love between them. and then, the time came.
"you said you like me, am i right?" he smiled, and her heart was beating in her throat. she wasn't calm at all, she was shivering, and avoiding eye contact, like a nervous person would do.
"so?" he asked again, this time with a bigger smile. he was curious, but still waited for the girl to reply, calmly.
"right" she replied.
"and..." he started, whilst having another big smile on his lips.
"and?" she asked, hoping for him to like her back.
"wanna try being a couple?" he replied.
her heart, was beating very fast in her chest, while she, again, avoided the eye contact. she didn't even thought about this, she had so many feelings for him, and because of him. what if, he's gonna just use me like others before, she thought to herself, while leaving him with a thinking face on her.
"yes" she replied, and his shocked face told her everything, but she still asked. "what?"
"it's just, i thought you were gonna reject me, i don't know" he said, then he shrugged his shoulders; she started smiling.
"nope" she reacted, as a big smirk began showing on his face.
"then its settled" he spoken. "we are together from now on".
"yeah" she said.
"let's hope this one is gonna last"
they started strolling through the park.the birds weren't there, the whole park was snowy, and cold, with barely any people in it. mostly everybody just run through it, doing some kind of sport.
but as they reached the end of it, they went across the street, and as they went to the bus station. they were waiting at the passage, whilst they said absolutely nothing, and then she hugged him. fastly, longly, unexpectedly. and then she left to her part of the bust stop. after that they were separated. she instantly called one of her best friends, while getting on the bus.
"this guy is so cute" she said in the phone, while one of her best friends was being happy for her. she were happy too, and never been more delighted in her entire life. nobody could made her this happy, not any exes, not any friendships. only him.