Towel Dry
(18+)
I took a shower to make me feel better, Something to shake this mood before I leave to pick up my daughter, Her smile makes things right again, Just need to hear her laughter, Keeping me grounded, she's my little anchor... Stepping out of the shower, I feel weak, Knees buckle beneath me, I take a seat, The weight from the stressful intensity, That I carry around with me, Reluctantly... This body I see, A sad excuse of a mother, Who is she? When did I take on another persona? Mentally beaten down, 'What am I doing?' 'I'm better than this!' I guess, I allowed the pain to turn into an unhealthy release, That I started to forget... And it felt SO FUCKING GOOD NOT TO THINK!! Of everything that I couldn't fix.. As I dry off, "towel dry" the bad thoughts, I get dressed and take a short glance, I know who I am about to see isn't me, it's someone else, With all that is left, I have to get that woman I lost back, Get her back quickly, Whatever the cost.... I have to try to make something worth it, Worth going through this nightmare, That my life has turned into, I admit, I self destructed hard after losing you, But when I tried to reach out to anyone that would listen, I was tired of getting the same results, So I did what was working.... And I'm scared for that reason... I don't want to open up because I don't trust, And yet here I am, spilling my fucking guts, Just to get hurt by anyone, it seems, That sees triumph, glory, victory... Gained by my vulnerabilities... Turning from the mirror, I reach to flick the light off, And I can't help but wonder, "What could be the mirror's last thought(s)?": "Will I remember her when she comes back?" "Will she remember her soul, remember her face?" "Will she remember who she used to be?" Will she be someone else?" Or "Will she have become a memory?" "Or has she already let go?" "I hope one day she returns to me..." ©shantilly
I took a shower to make me feel better, Something to shake this mood before I leave to pick up my daughter, Her smile makes things right again, Just need to hear her laughter, Keeping me grounded, she's my little anchor... Stepping out of the shower, I feel weak, Knees buckle beneath me, I take a seat, The weight from the stressful intensity, That I carry around with me, Reluctantly... This body I see, A sad excuse of a mother, Who is she? When did I take on another persona? Mentally beaten down, 'What am I doing?' 'I'm better than this!' I guess, I allowed the pain to turn into an unhealthy release, That I started to forget... And it felt SO FUCKING GOOD NOT TO THINK!! Of everything that I couldn't fix.. As I dry off, "towel dry" the bad thoughts, I get dressed and take a short glance, I know who I am about to see isn't me, it's someone else, With all that is left, I have to get that woman I lost back, Get her back quickly, Whatever the cost.... I have to try to make something worth it, Worth going through this nightmare, That my life has turned into, I admit, I self destructed hard after losing you, But when I tried to reach out to anyone that would listen, I was tired of getting the same results, So I did what was working.... And I'm scared for that reason... I don't want to open up because I don't trust, And yet here I am, spilling my fucking guts, Just to get hurt by anyone, it seems, That sees triumph, glory, victory... Gained by my vulnerabilities... Turning from the mirror, I reach to flick the light off, And I can't help but wonder, "What could be the mirror's last thought(s)?": "Will I remember her when she comes back?" "Will she remember her soul, remember her face?" "Will she remember who she used to be?" Will she be someone else?" Or "Will she have become a memory?" "Or has she already let go?" "I hope one day she returns to me..." ©shantilly
2022-02-23 10:41:42
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