Вірші
the other side
hey, alien .
i saw you coming to our place and i just want to warn you
that this is ain't as your space your creatures might be born in .
it's not the same.
I'm sure, you know.
that's why prevent yourself —
don't stay too close to us.
be brave .
cause there's no soul who'll help.
escape it on your own .
hey alien,
I heard your lullaby.
you sang about your childish dream
that transformed into star dust.
you sound so calm, inside you scream.
it's gonna turn to dark past.
your brain is fogged ,
you see no thing.
but believe me when im saying —
you know you're strong
and tired, I think.
now that's the price I'm paying.
so please wake up and run as fast
as possibly you can.
cause otherwise, the thing will last
i'll be the one to blame.
there's lots of characters in plot,
the ones you saw , the ones you'll meet.
but there's a thing that you forgot—
you are the one, the main.
you wonder under the empyrean
and wait the time to be found.
i hear your call. it's clarion.
you're all alone in crowd.
sometimes I feel you being
impuissant and lost.
I wonder if you're seeing
how pretty is dark canvas' host.
you are here.
that's all that matters.
we are so different but we're both
aware of our treasures.
we are the children of the universe
who try to deal with their dolour.
your eyes are green and luminous
and you can change your mind's colour.
farewell for now, green eyes.
I'll see you on the other side.
remember milky way sometimes
and please, keep lenity inside.
your mind is chaos . clarity.
do not neglect it, floral hands.
and please , don't lose your singularity
cause if you do
the thing that made it
the one who made you feel alright
is gone.
farewell,
your fidus Achates.
2
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324
a song.
you told me you will find me,
but you bury me instead.
you're running from anxiety
that's always in your head.
you said our life's like cinema
and main character is lost.
but you never said she's criminal
and she hates herself the most.
you never told she's stuck inside impenetrable glass dome,
where she can hear nobody and
nobody can hear her.
19 January 21
4:25 a.m.
1
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475
fight.
«it's not enough!» they scream at me.
but when's enough to let me feel?
when's enough to share with it?
when's enough when I can't deal
with it right now.
«it is enough when you are bleeding.
it's still too early for them to know!»
well, it feels like I'm not living,
yet I'm watching how you grow.
«it's not the moment! ah, you're weak!»
am I really? I'm just alive.
yeah, human being , such a surprise?
all you're saying is just a lie.
there are strong times
when I forget you,
when I don't hear you—
it feels like crime.
times of silence .
they don't last long.
now look at my face—
no tears, I'm strong.
am I ?
9:12p.m.
1
0
398
rewind.
today is not the day when you can hate yourself.
today is not the day when you regret something.
this moment is not right to feel anxiety and pain,
still you sit right in the corner knowing everything is lame.
it's just not right to cry right now and scream inside,
no matter how strong you feel like all is upside down.
it is the moment of letting in your life some light ,
and taking off your loved one drama crown .
you have no right to feel like this from morning till the very night .
you have no right to let the voices of the darkest places of your mind
dictate you rules, and how to live a life , and what to think , and what to do.
you have no right to stop believing you will pass it through.
wake up. I dare you, kid. wake up.
you've been sleeping for so long time.
so stop your dreaming, open up your eyes,
what's the next step, kid? make a small rewind.
27.12.20
2
0
231
less
reckless. helpless. fenceless.
this is all that represents me.
speechless. sleepless. useless.
add more ’less’ to this word list.
madness. sadness. darkness.
this is all I can't deal with and
all my speeches are meaningless.
frightened. brighten
all my mind, you can't do it.
can't you do it ?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
i speak no human, but the Morse code , why?
cause I don't want everyone to think that I
got some problems and don't wanna feel alive
feel the numbness for so long time
I'm tempted by the silence n I can't unwind !
I'm sorry.
yeah, I'm sorry.
2:49 a.m.
22.12.20
1
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222
the search of light.
I believe you will never know
why I feel this way.
I still have a hope,
but I'm afraid to say .
I'm afraid to share.
all the thoughts I think.
you can't comprehend .
no more me. one blink.
no more smile.
no more laugh.
no more mile
i can go without
pain and tears
I made myself.
1
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247
Lost.
I hate every single cell of me ,
Every single thought,
every single memory,
every lesson I've been taught.
I hate my long brown hair,
I hate my eyes as well.
can't say that I don't care
about what people tell.
I just want to run away
somewhere far, far away.
and I want to stay in silence,
feel no fear, truly slay.
I just want to be right now
in the deepest point of forest.
Surprisingly, I got somehow—
this is not my real purpose.
do I want to be alone ?
will my problems be solved then ?
if I'm somewhere far from home
Will I say the words " I can " ?
or I'll feel it all again ?!
it all, without any explanation...
I'm so tired of this frustration,
that is chasing me from then .
from that time , when I forgot
who I really am .
11 Aug, 2020.
11:17 p.m.
1
0
341
