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The Truth
Heart clenching.
Breath shortening.
I hear your voice and my hatred boils.
I know its wrong.
I know your human.
But all I see, all I hear.
Is the rage bubbling up inside me.
Threatening to explode.
You hurt me.
You broke my esteem.
As you taunted and mocked me
For all to see.
I wanted revenge.
I wanted you to see.
Just how much pain
Swelled up inside me.
But than it happened.
I saw the truth.
The broken little girl lying on the walk
Huddled in a ball as those she loved
hurled insult after insult down from above.
I saw the truth and it was you.
Tears streaming , bruised and broken.
she gazed up at me wondering, asking
what would I do.
That was the day I realized.
The day I learned that everyday you hit me,
Everyday you made my life hell.
You yourself were going through something similar.
No it doesn't escuse your actions.
Yet as I stood there.
Staring down at this broken little girl
I realized.
My anger had evaporated.
Replaced instead with sadness and love as
My eyes were finally opened,
and I saw you for who you really are.
A Daughter of God in need of love.
Hand outstretched a gentle smile.
That was the day I opened my heart with love and forgiveness, and made a new friend.
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To Be Polite
Hello how are you?
Is a formality we all know.
We hear it everyday, walking down the road.
What's up? They may ask.
Or hello how are you today?
Yet only 1% actually stop for an anwser.
Only 1% actually wait to hear what you have to say.
Why you may ask?
Why do they ask if they don't really want to know?
It's simple really.
They are just being polite.
Its rude to just walk on by without a greeting.
Its scandalous to not ask how they are.
It don't matter if you wait for the anwser.
It don't matter if you brush aside their anwser.
Just as long as you say it.
Just as long as the greeting rolls off your tounque.
You are safe. You are polite.
So long as the words have been spoken aloud you can walk on by ignoring the person further.
Why though?
Why is it considered polite to ask someone a question but not wait for the anwser.
Why is it rude to only say hello without a how are you.
I would think it's more rude to ask someone how are you and ignore the anwser than to just walk on by.
Especially when that person has depression.
It hurts worse then fire.
To be asked that question.
Only to see the asker doesn't really care.
But hey, what do I know I am only a woman, with depression.
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Change
My how things have changed.
It was only 4 years ago that I was walking down the asile,
cap and gown in hand proud as a peacock.
Only 4 years ago when I shook my teachers hands, accepting the diploma, seeing the tears in my parents eyes as I became a woman.
Yet those 4 years. Those measly 1589 days could have been a century with how things have changed.
I remember having home phones on the wall that you could ease drop on your families conversations with.
I remember smearing on makeup in middle school only to scrub it off minutes later because I looked like a clown.
I remember going to school and seeing people actually talk to each other over lunch rather than their little magic black boxes.
I remember parents sending their kids back up stairs when they dared show a little bit of skin.
I remember. A phrase said by the old yet I am only 23.
Oh how things have changed, and not always for the better.
Now instead of looking like a clown with the big makeup. There are little girls prancing around in crop tops and mini skirts and makeup done like a professional.
Instead of talking and swinging around on trees outdoors, kids are laying on their beds texting.
Instead of fears of failing a test kids are worried about where the next shooter will appear.
My how things have changed.
From laughter in the streets, to screams in the halls as they are shot down by their own friends.
Has it really been only 4 years?
Feels more like 100.
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NO
Rude.
Stuck up
Brat
These are a few of the things I've been called.
Is it because I mocked and teased?
Is it because I shouted and hit?
Is it because I made someone bleed?
No I did none of those things.
Rather it is because I said No.
Because I said no to adding you on Facebook.
No to letting you be my valentine.
No to giving you my number.
Does that make me rude.
Am I a Brat just because I rather not?
Is it true I am stuck up for saying no?
Is yes really the only way to go?
Even if I say it nicely?
Why though?
Why can't I reject and still be polite?
Why must my anwser always be Alright.
Why can't I say no and still be a friend.
Why must I say yes when I really want it to end.
I mean no harm.
I don't mean to hurt.
Yet the moment your mouth opens.
The minute the question is asked.
The only acceptable anwser.
The only one you will accept.
Is Yes.
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The Light
Blinding light, piercing the shadows of the night.
Monsters and Goblins flee before its brilliant yellow glow.
It's long blue handle gripped tightly between the child's fingers.
Under the bed, out the window, and into her closet she shines it's brilliant glow.
Scaring away all the creatures of the night.
Climbing into bed she holds it close, Fearfully gazing into the darkness of her room.
With a yawn and a sigh from her fingers it falls.
To the ground with a thunk it's light is dispelled.
Asleep at last till morning light shines.
The light forgotten as unicorns and pixies dance through the mind of the slumbering child.
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Enough
Be more thin.
Wear more makeup.
Are you a slob? Stop eating so much.
Wear this, wear that.
Be our perfect little barbie doll.
This is all we hear.
Day in and day out all the world does is complain about us girls.
You tell us to starve ourselves just to fit your pefect little mold.
You tell us we are ugly if we have a blemish.
You force us to hide who we truly are just to please.
Well no more.
We are not your barbie dolls you dress up in pretty clothes.
We are not a possession you can toss away when old.
We don't need to wear globs of gunk on our face just to please.
You don't get to decitate how we should and should not be.
We are daughters, sisters, mothers, and aunts.
We are princesses, royalty of our Father in Heaven.
We are enough just the way we are.
If you can't accept that than too bad for you.
For we are Daughters of God and He says we are enough just for being us.
(From my book Fiction With A Twist)
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