(18+)
I’ve always had much to say but little was said. I was very unsure of how you would react, of what you would say. This closet gets darker everyday. The thoughts of what I feel consume every part of me. They scream that I should just tell the truth of what has really been going on. I’ve been left in the dark one too many times and I’m getting so very tired of it. This pain that I feel breaks me more and more with every passing moment. It’s been years and I’ve still not been able to tell the whole truth of everything. My heart and soul cracks more each day and it’s starting to show. The tears have started to flow on their own. I can’t hardly stop them now. These days pass with many fake smiles, fake feelings, and fake I’m ok’s. I lie each and everyday just so you don’t have to worry. Just so you don’t ask how I’m doing. I’ve learned that it’s better to say nothing at all than to tell you how I really feel. The walls keep closing in on me and I just can’t take it anymore. There’s a cold, hard feeling in my veins. It’s calling my name. Screaming to be released. The blood boils under my skin as I try my damndest not to let it spill. Deep breath, let it out, give in. One cut, two cut, three cut, four. It’s been a long hard day and the walls have finally suffocated me. This closet has won and I have lost. For the blood now flows and takes the cost. The cost of this life. The cost of this pain. It takes it all away. I have finally spoken what I’ve felt for so long. As the tears stop flowing and the blood stops pouring, the pain is gone and with it are the words left unspoken. For there is still much to say, but it can only be felt in your own heart and soul. This pain I’ve felt will now be yours, for I can no longer carry it with me. There is nothing left to break, it’s now you in my place. These thoughts left unthought will be yours to think in the night. The night is where you will hear my cries for help, but they will now be your own. The tears left unshed will be shed by your own eyes. These eyes will become dull, just like mine. Lifeless, dark, sad, and full of secrets. You will not say much to anyone even though you are breaking inside. Within no time at all you will finally understand the burning of the blood, the flowing in the veins, the calling of your name. The whisper you hear will be the voice of reason, the voice which calls your name. It will say that there is no other way. The words you left unspoken will be written in your blood, as it spills onto the floor. As your life slips from your soul. The secrets kept will be unleashed. The unspoken will be spoken. One way or another all will know what I’ve kept inside for so long. All my secrets will be known, all the words I left unsaid will be splattered across the walls with blood that is not my own.