What If

Kayla Faith

What if she looks through our old conversations? We would never be able to talk again. You would be put in prison. They would never trust me again. And you would hate me. So I’ll just hate myself a little more. Because I keep messing up. I keep doing stupid stuff. It’s like there isn’t anything I can do right anymore. Because what if she does look through it? What then? What now? I’m so scared. I’m shaking, I’m crying, I’m hating. We were going to see each other. You were going to take me away. And now she might see it. She might see what we were going to do. This isn’t good, it can’t be. So I’ll just hate myself a little more because I keep doing these stupid things. I keep letting them happen. I can’t say no... why can’t I say no? What if she sees?

2018-10-04 22:45:51

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I saw a dream, and there were you, And there was coldness in your eyes. I wonder what a kind of true Made you become as cold as ice. And later I looked back to get a sense This empty glance was hellish call of past. It used to be a high and strong defense Against the world, the pain and me at last. You looked at me, and peering in your soul, I felt so lonely, as something vital died. And that is what I fear most of all - That nothing gentle will remain inside. Inside of you. Inside of me as well. And nothing will be said to farewell.

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Коли я опинюся в твоєму полоні, це буде найсолодший кінець моєї історії. Це буде крапка на кар'єрі поета, ніяких почуттів вміщених на папері. Це буде найсолодший початок моєї любові – моє кохання ловитимеш у кожному слові, у кожному погляді, у кожному русі. Вірші не потрібні будуть, вони стануть безвкусні.

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