You were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with . You were the person I wanted to hug everyday I came home I used to look forward to that day we will meet and cuddle I seriously miss you , but I decided to accept the fact that we will never be a thing anymore They say if it was made to be then paths will cross again but still this seems very impossible knowing you moved on with another girl. Feels really bad but day by day I am accepting that fact I really hope one 8f this fine days I will be okay Sometimes I feel like calling/texting you but I choose my peace of mind first I don't want you to be rude to me I miss you but I know one of this fine days I will stop caring what you do and who you are with coz I will be busy focusing on my dreams . I just wish our paths continued to be straight and not this heartbreak that has left me broken into pieces I miss you

The tears have shed quietly hoping the pain goes away. The moments I have wished I was just okay . All the painful moments coming back and finishing me from inside The only place I can write about my pain Dear heart I don't want to trouble you but I hope you will continue being strong for me I hope you will take in the pain and allow it pass by without holding on To the time I have spent sleepless night wishing I be well To the moments have felt all helpless Broke and broken at the same time but holding on to the God's of the land They say bloom gracefully but I can't even find a place in my body that allows me to bloom. Sometimes I feel like I don't have to live no more to experience the pain of this life but I look back to my family and friends who are looking up to me and I find the courage to wake up in the morning and just do life. I have lost the motivation to keep fighting I have lost the motivation of life I have lost the motivation to even apply for those jobs I have lost motivation to even do the life itself. Tonight my heart is heavy, heavy not because of being broken but because I am angry at life, at people, at thjnag ,at situations. Angry why me , and all the fuck is going on. I don't even know the reason to fight another day coz I am broken inside . I keep holding on but my heart is not taking it. I wish I can have someone hold me and just say uta well but with everything I going through u don't even feel like talking to anyone or sharing whatever the heck is going on with my life . I rather write than share it coz in writing no one will judge me,no one will tell me to be strong coz this ahit is outdated . I am so tired with everything and I seriously need some help which I don't know where it will come from . I try to be strong but I am loosing it

A small village in Kenya whereby water is very scarce . No one would want to live in a such place but circumstances forces you . I remember that day vividly when my mum called and said Sarah get a jerrican and go fetch some water . I didn't ask her any questions but I agreed and took the jerrican ,then off I went . I didn't know if my life will change for the worst . As I was going down the hill I fell and broke my left leg . Though I didn't know I had got an injury I continued with my journey to the stream ,fetched water then went back home . Mmmh I was feeling some pain on my right leg but I ignored not knowing my ignorance will change my life for many years. This was back 2007 during post election violence in kenya.2008 my mum got a scholarship and went to further her education so this time I had to be left back home with my younger sister and house manager. During this time the pain was unbearable so I had to seek for medical attention at the nearest health center . I remember explaining to the doctor what my problem was but I couldn't recall if I had fell and broke my leg . The doctors results said I had a growth on my knee so I have to undergo an operation . When my mum heard that she refused I undergo an operation,so she suggested I go to another hospital which deals with bones but in there things worsened.I underwent alot of diagnosis but the doctors said the problem comes with teanage stage so after I reach 18 the problem will go away . We all believed in those words and I just started taking painkillers just for them to relieve the pain I was undergoing.By this time I was in class 7 so I was not attending the classes as required so I had to repeat . Life wasn't fair at all to me but all in all I continued trusting in God that one day I will be whole again. I passed class 8 but I didn't get the marks I wanted but I tried . My dream school was to attend a national school here in Kenya but my dreams was shuttered down by the pain . My dad suggested I be taken in a school for persons living with disability because I had already become one of them . This time I was walking with armpit crutches and the pain was extreme.I waited patiently for me to reach 18 years so that I be free from the pain .Guess what! after I reached those years the pain became unbearable, Again I went back to the doctor but things changed,I remember him saying I was suffering from arthritis but my mum didn't believe it . I continued going to different hospitals but the pain wasn't going away . After my forth year in high school I met with a pastor back in our church who approached me and asked madam what's happening to your leg , I explained everything to him and he decided to take me to a private hospital here in Kenya. After going there they did many tests and at long last the problem was discovered which was lack of fluid on my hip joint so I had to undergo an operation for the hip to be corrected. The operation was successfull but things changed again 😭 , my right leg became shorter than the other one so I had to start using a raised shoe to help me balance. I couldn't believe if I was passing through all that pain which was unbearable. I continued using raised shoe for almost two years but guess what! God was working in my leg . In 2016 I went for checkup and the doctor said my leg is kinda okay , so he prescribed the kind of shoes I should be putting on . That was my happiest day since 2007 . I started using the shoes he prescribed and the pain started going away such that I even stopped using crutches. I remember going to college to pursue journalism course but no one wanted to associate with me just because I was a person living with disability. The stigma in college was real , I would go to class finish the work then go back to my hostel , tears and pain were food to my stomach everyday.i had no friends for quite sometime until one of my classmates became so close to me then all over sudden became good friends which even the friendship didn't last long .(as I am writing this my eyes are full of tears because the experience wasn't so good ) some say we learn through experience but my experience was extremely painful) . After sometime I finished my college studies went for my internship to a leading broadcasting house in Kenya. After the internship I became a TV presenter for sometime but I quited the job and went behind the camera whereby I am working with a public relations and broadcasting company . Right now all my college guys wants to associate with me because I am continuously have proven to them that disability is not inability but there is ability in disability . My leg continued healing until right now I am walking without crutches and raised shoe . I remember this day quite vividly when I went to a shoe shop and bought shoes which I didn't know after wearing them what happens next but the fact remained I bought them . 2018 one of the Saturday I was a brides maid of my friends and I put on those shoes. When we arrived at church I danced, went to reception with the same shoes and danced completely . But guess what my leg didn't pain at all . I couldn't I imagine it was me who was on those shoes . That is when I discovered God has healed me completely . One thing like encouraging people is that you might pass through alot of shit but if you believe in God and pray one day he remembers you and wipes all your tears . So don't give up I never gave up when pain was unbearable but I continued believing and trusting in God for healing which after almost ten years he healed me . Check out for more inspirational stories from me . This story is based on a true story.