Seeing Chad and I in that moment must have caught him off-guard and I'm pretty sure he never saw it coming...I walked up to him but before I could reach him he walked away without saying a word...Chad held my hand and assured me that everything was going to be alright.


We walked to the car which was parked a few blocks away from where we were..he knew I was distraught so he decided to take me to a garden...it was so beautiful and felt so magical..the whole place was filled with beautiful colored flowers roses, lilies, daisies any flower you could possibly think of was there.

We walked across the bridge that was covered in red roses while his hand was tightly holding mine..it felt so surreal after everything we've been through who thought Chad Park would ever hold my hand. I watched him talk about the garden with so much passion...he smile spread from ear to ear and I could see it in his eyes that he's been waiting to show this beautiful place to someone...he knew every corner of the place and with all the flowers covering every inch of the place it's easy to get lost but not for Chad and despite all that tough and arrogant attitude,  deep down lies a soft pure heart that's been yearning for compassion, someone to talk to, someone who'd understand him like nobody else.


With everything that was going on between us, I could hardly see the Chad that I'm standing next to right now... he put up so many walls that I couldn't break and even if I tried to he couldn't let me... after walking for what seemed like an hour we finally sat down on the bench that was next to a fountain..my yellow dress couldn't stop flying around even though it wasn't that windy...despite my failed attempts of trying to hold it in place I kept trying and to my surprise he put his hand on mine.


"maybe this will hold the dress in place", 

he said as he let out a soft chuckle...I felt weak at the sight of his eyes piercing in mine and just as I turned to the other side he turned my head to face him with his thumb placed on my chin.


" I am glad we're here... "

He stopped for a  second then continued

" I never thought I'd feel what I feel for you right now...you were so annoying that I didn't know how else to get rid of you"

I chuckled upon hearing him say that, he continued,

"I never thought one would be brave, courageous, daring enough to withstand my mood swings.."

" What took you so long..." I said

He just stared at me and waited for me to finish my sentence...his hazel eyes pierced right through me and the longer I looked at them the more energy they drained out of me...

" What took you so long to do this..." I said, my hands were a bit shaky from the intense emotions 

"Afraid.." he said as he looked away

It was as if the question triggered something in him, something from his past that he didn't want to be brought up...his emotions abruptly changed, the happy carefree Chad disappeared and I was facing someone who's deeply hurt and hopeless.


He cleared his throat turned back to look at me then proceeded,


"It's nothing... are you feeling a lot better now?"

I knew he was trying to change the topic and the persistent side of me couldn't let this go so I insisted that he explains everything, I was thinking he would throw his tantrums like he usually does but he was calm the entire time. His eyes became watery and I could tell that he was holding back his emotions, I held his hand just to assure him that I was there for him no matter what..he tightly held my hand then slowly released it as he let out a soft sigh,


" I........I have lupus, "

Had no idea what it was about but I knew it was very serious from the way he spoke about it, his face was covered with fear and anxiety I could barely convince him to calm down, he then continued

" I've had it for some time now almost 2 years and my parents and I have seen a bunch of doctors and non of them have been of help"

Just as soon as he was about to cry he stood up and avoided eye contact with me, hearing him speak sounded like a lamp was stuck in his throat and the more he tried to speak so he could release it, the more it hurt...


" The clock is ticking and if nothing is done within a certain amount of time then..." 

 Before he could finish his sentence tears rolled down his eyes and I quickly got up to embrace him as tight as I could.


"I don't want to leave this world bitter and cold and.........,"


"Shh," I interrupted


" You're not leaving this world any time soon,"

 I said as I cupped his cheeks in my hands  while our foreheads rested on each other, I couldn't help but let out the tears that were so hard to hold back


He finally managed to take my hands off his face then continued,

" I am sorry that I put you through all that, dealing with acceptance of what was going in my life was the hardest thing to do and I lushed that anger on anyone that was around me, unfortunately, you suffered for something you knew nothing about..."


" Chad...,"

" I am sorry that it had to come out like this and I don't know what I was thinking. Olivia I, I can't let you love me not when I'm not sure if I'm going to survive this or not.... you're an amazing girl and I wish we found each other under different circumstances. You deserve someone better, maybe I shouldn't get in between what you have with Taylor...I,"


" Enough..." 

I said as I forced my voice out of my mouth, It was so unexpected, just when I thought things were falling in place this had to happen, dealing with another loss is something I wasn't looking forward to. After nana's passing, it was so hard to move on and accept her presence was no more... 

Listening to Chad speak made me understand him more and why he was like that but that didn't stop me from loving him and despite how uncertain our relationship was going to be or how it would end and as scary as that was, my feelings for him were stronger than what he was facing and I was willing to stay by him and fight the battle with him...


I held his hand then continued to speak,


"I lost somebody very important to me and it was the darkest time of my life, it wasn't easy but I slowly came face to face with the acceptance of not seeing them anymore, I don't understand what you're going through but you're not in this alone... we'll fight this together and there's no way I'll ever leave you you hear me?"

My hands cupped his cheeks as I looked straight into his soul, his piercing eyes strongly gazed in mine and despite the tears that filled every corner of his eyes I saw the light that looked like it had been waiting for someone to show up...and at that moment he knew that he wasn't fighting this alone...