Ten
Delilah.
I looked outside the car's window and then I turned to Troy.
"I don't think I can." I said as I shifted impatiently in my seat.
"Of course, you can." He said in a soft tone but it wasn't of that much help as what I was feeling sitting in a car just outside the cemetery couldn't be toned down any bit by any kind of tone.
"This wasn't a good idea." I said as I completely turned my whole body towards Troy so I won't even be able to see a glance of the cemetery. "We should head back home."
"Lilah." His voice was calm. "We've come all this way. And I can't just let you go back without doing what you came to do here." Although his voice was calm I could still hear how firm it was.
"But.." Tears started to dwell up in my eyes as I bit my lower lip. "Troy, I don't.." I looked down at my hands as my tears fell in my lap.
"You don't what?" He asked.
"I don't think I'm strong enough." I said as I looked at him and he sighed.
"Lilah, I know you're scared. And I also know that walking into that cemetery means accepting what happened was real. I know it's hard but it did happen and it's time you accept that." He said and another stream of tears fell off my face. He firmly held my hand. "I'll be right by your side." He said and I looked at him as I nodded. I wiped away my tears.
"You ready?" He asked and I gave him a slight nod in reply he gave me small smile as he undid his seatbelt and git out of the car. He walked over to my side and opened the door for me I picked up the bouquet from the backseat as I got out.
Flynn didn't have a favourite flower. But he always used to bring me liles as he used to say that these were made for me. I don't know what he meant by that but when I went to flower shop today lilies were the first that came into my mind. I wiped my face once again with my free hand as we entered the cemetery. I stopped at the entrance for a few moments thinking if it was the right thing to do or not.
"Hey." Troy said as he softly held my hand. I looked at him and he said, "You can do this." He said and I gave him a small smile.
Tom told me Flynn's grave was right next to his father's. I've been to this cemetery many times before. Whenever Flynn would disappear I would always find him here. But today was different. Although I was here for Flynn but this time I knew I won't be bringing him back with me.
I walked into the cemetery as Troy followed behind me. I stopped again and took a deep breath. I looked behind to see Troy. He smiled at me because he knew I was checking if he's still with me or not. I took a deep breath again and walked further in. And finally I reached the grave which had a stone plate ingraved with the name "Flynn Jacobs" a part of me broke when I looked at his name on a gravestone.
The tears that I had stopped before walking in the cemetery started coming out of my eyes as my grip on to the boquet became firm. My whole body was trembling as more and more tears fell off my face. I fell on my knees as I covered my face with my hands as I let out more and more sobs. Troy came and just sat beside me on the ground to give me a feeling that he was still there. I don't exactly know how long but we sat there. And finally after an eternity of sobs I mustered up the courage to talk. My throat was dry but I wanted to say it. I wanted to say it to him.
"I'm... so-rry." My voice broke but I kept going on. "I'm sorry.. that it took me this long." My hands clenched into fists as I grabbed on my velvet dress. "I'm sorry that.. that I still miss you so much.. that I don't want to accept you're gone. I'm sorry that I still... I still want to be with you. I'm sorry.. that I loved you so so much but never said a word about it. I love you so much..." I bit my lower lip in order to stop my cries. I felt an arm pulling me in I looked up it was Troy.
"It's okay to let it out." He said as I let all of my cries out.
• • •
A/N:
This book is nearing the end now. Only two or three chapters left. And I just wanted to thank you guys for reading and liking this book and giving such an amazing feedback. Love you guys.🌹🌹
I looked outside the car's window and then I turned to Troy.
"I don't think I can." I said as I shifted impatiently in my seat.
"Of course, you can." He said in a soft tone but it wasn't of that much help as what I was feeling sitting in a car just outside the cemetery couldn't be toned down any bit by any kind of tone.
"This wasn't a good idea." I said as I completely turned my whole body towards Troy so I won't even be able to see a glance of the cemetery. "We should head back home."
"Lilah." His voice was calm. "We've come all this way. And I can't just let you go back without doing what you came to do here." Although his voice was calm I could still hear how firm it was.
"But.." Tears started to dwell up in my eyes as I bit my lower lip. "Troy, I don't.." I looked down at my hands as my tears fell in my lap.
"You don't what?" He asked.
"I don't think I'm strong enough." I said as I looked at him and he sighed.
"Lilah, I know you're scared. And I also know that walking into that cemetery means accepting what happened was real. I know it's hard but it did happen and it's time you accept that." He said and another stream of tears fell off my face. He firmly held my hand. "I'll be right by your side." He said and I looked at him as I nodded. I wiped away my tears.
"You ready?" He asked and I gave him a slight nod in reply he gave me small smile as he undid his seatbelt and git out of the car. He walked over to my side and opened the door for me I picked up the bouquet from the backseat as I got out.
Flynn didn't have a favourite flower. But he always used to bring me liles as he used to say that these were made for me. I don't know what he meant by that but when I went to flower shop today lilies were the first that came into my mind. I wiped my face once again with my free hand as we entered the cemetery. I stopped at the entrance for a few moments thinking if it was the right thing to do or not.
"Hey." Troy said as he softly held my hand. I looked at him and he said, "You can do this." He said and I gave him a small smile.
Tom told me Flynn's grave was right next to his father's. I've been to this cemetery many times before. Whenever Flynn would disappear I would always find him here. But today was different. Although I was here for Flynn but this time I knew I won't be bringing him back with me.
I walked into the cemetery as Troy followed behind me. I stopped again and took a deep breath. I looked behind to see Troy. He smiled at me because he knew I was checking if he's still with me or not. I took a deep breath again and walked further in. And finally I reached the grave which had a stone plate ingraved with the name "Flynn Jacobs" a part of me broke when I looked at his name on a gravestone.
The tears that I had stopped before walking in the cemetery started coming out of my eyes as my grip on to the boquet became firm. My whole body was trembling as more and more tears fell off my face. I fell on my knees as I covered my face with my hands as I let out more and more sobs. Troy came and just sat beside me on the ground to give me a feeling that he was still there. I don't exactly know how long but we sat there. And finally after an eternity of sobs I mustered up the courage to talk. My throat was dry but I wanted to say it. I wanted to say it to him.
"I'm... so-rry." My voice broke but I kept going on. "I'm sorry.. that it took me this long." My hands clenched into fists as I grabbed on my velvet dress. "I'm sorry that.. that I still miss you so much.. that I don't want to accept you're gone. I'm sorry that I still... I still want to be with you. I'm sorry.. that I loved you so so much but never said a word about it. I love you so much..." I bit my lower lip in order to stop my cries. I felt an arm pulling me in I looked up it was Troy.
"It's okay to let it out." He said as I let all of my cries out.
• • •
A/N:
This book is nearing the end now. Only two or three chapters left. And I just wanted to thank you guys for reading and liking this book and giving such an amazing feedback. Love you guys.🌹🌹
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