To break up the embrace with Daryl was as if you were returning with your feet on the ground in two separate and different units. He was the first to walk away, sliding his hands from your shoulders and gently closing his fingers around your elbows. Although you felt a bit disoriented, you still wondered if he had broken the hug because he could not stand the physical contact anymore, or because the people around you were like spectators overwhelmed with emotion. Maybe he was worried about what they might think… He took a step back to give you the opportunity to breathe and get back your private space; Given what you had felt for him, it was now hard for you to face him without feeling embarrassed. You forced yourself to look up to understand his expression. It was very similar to what you saw when he burst into tears in the old cabin, except that a slight smile floated over his lips. His eyes were full of relief and something that couldn’t be described. Again, you smiled spontaneously, despite the tears and although you were still in focus. So you stayed silent to smile at him while he smiled at you as well.

“Daryl, she lives and is healthy, as I promised.”, Aaron said, smiling and handing him the crossbow he had discarded. Daryl turned to face him, cautiously backing away and taking his weapon. He didn’t say anything. It made you laugh inside because Daryl had been the only one who had obviously managed to force himself to keep the weapon he had walked through the gates with.

“How did you manage to convince them?”, you asked your friend, smiling grimly. You were so happy that you could not believe it. You looked around and enjoyed the sight of their faces again as you realized that the corridor had suddenly become crowded and tight.

“It took time.”, Rick replied instead of Aaron. “Maybe we wouldn’t have believed without the photo that you were really waiting for us here.” Maggie flanked you and embraced her hips with one arm. “When I saw you in this picture… I could not believe it.”, she whispered, kissing your temples. You put your head on her shoulder. “I knew Aaron would find you sooner or later, I never really lost hope…”, you said, feeling Daryl’s decipherable look on you. Deanna, who until then had looked at everything discreetly and with a big smile, approached you. “It was determination: You knew how hard I was fighting to keep your group here.”, the woman shouted, stroking your head tenderly. “I’ll never thank you enough for that, Deanna.”, Rick said. Deanna smiled, but changed the subject. “I imagine you have a lot to talk about, but let’s show you your new homes first, so you can refresh yourself and feel welcome.” The look of each of them said something else: Mistrust, of course, but they still seemed more laid back than in any other situation. Perhaps the fact that you spent a month and more in Alexandria and lived safely encouraged them to feel more secure. You hoped Rick could feel safe at least once, along with Carl, Judith, Michonne, and all of you. The strangers Rick told you about were now describing them a bit more closely. Father Gabriel, a priest who had welcomed them into a church in which they had been for a while; Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita, other survivors who met Glenn shortly after his escape from the prison, along with Tara, a girl from the Governor’s group. You felt the knot in your throat and realized that she had simply been a slave to the monster’s hands when she hugged you and apologized to you with a broken voice. Then it was up to you to hug Sasha when you heard about Bob’s death… Your family was assigned two large houses that were also in your street, just a few doors down. You wanted Maggie and Glenn to stay with you, but unfortunately your house was not big enough for the three of you. At that moment you realized that Deanna did not want to give you a house with an extra room to avoid further problems. The houses were beautiful and spacious, as you expected, and it was a pleasure to see their faces full of surprise, confusion, and distrust of the impressive spaces that lay before their eyes. The only one who didn’t even show the slightest trace of surprise was of course Daryl: He entered both houses, barely looked around and his eyebrows were distorted. He walked down the stairs in the company of his faithful crossbow and onto the porch of the house, which he shared with Rick, Michonne, Carol, Maggie, and Glenn, Carl, and Judith for the time being.

“He needs time.”, Carol explained smiling serially at Deanna and Aaron to break the awkward silence that had arisen when Daryl left. You had already given Aiden the opportunity to introduce yourself to your family. You finished the visit of the houses and left them alone to settle down, to refresh themselves and to get acquainted with the environment; The only one who gave up the desire to have a nice relaxing shower was Daryl. You found that he was still leaning against the wooden pillar of the porch, with the intention of cleaning the crossbow as you stepped out of the house. “They left you your crossbow.”, you said, standing next to him, staring silently. He looked up, a puzzled look on his face. “What?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Well, it’s strange, Spencer really doesn’t act like that about firearms.”

“Who’s Spencer?”, he asked rather disinterestedly and returned to his beloved crossbow.

“The asshole at the entrance of the gates.”, you explained with a ridiculous tone. As soon as he heard your insult, he raised his head, a malicious smile on his lips.

“Don’t remember ya like that, Y/N.”, he said, lifting a knee, leaning on his forearm, letting his hand dangle and looking amused. You felt embarrassed and you were afraid that you had exaggerated, but you couldn’t help but smile.

“Why don’t you take a shower or a bath? It would do you good!”, you teasingly replied. He grunted, released his pose, and picked up the crossbow. “No need.”

“No, really, when the others are busy, you can come.” It happened at the same time: You blanched and realized the mischievous implication that your suggestion would have, and Daryl looked at you with wide-eyed surprise. You spread your lips to stammer a justification, but of course he did not miss the chance to blush with embarrassment.

“Yer’ve become pretty teasin’.”, he agreed ironically. His mocking smile made you go back, you were undecided. You gave him the ruddy look you could handle, and with a heavy step quickly descended the stairs to lock yourself in your house and throw the key away.

“Go to hell, Dixon!”, you said as a goodbye as you noticed his grin piercing through your back. Better an asshole than dead, you repeated to yourself, trying to convince yourself while you were washing your hair and heading to the bathroom.

Dinner with your family was ready and thought that you shouldn’t have allowed your mouth to part with your brain and let your heart guide you, it was absurd, Daryl would never have dreamed of you as anything but a stupid, annoying woman… You should have been lucky if his eyes had not seen you as ‘another dead girl’ but as the one who had managed to escape those who held you captive and who managed to get here alive and alone. Daryl didn’t think himself worthy of being loved by anyone, nor did he realize how much the people in the group liked him: That was the impression you always had. The only thing he could not fault was his value as a archer, hunter and survivor, but otherwise he did not consider himself a great man… Other than the embarrassment of his jokes and all your mishaps about what you felt for him, you did not feel uncomfortable when you greeted him as soon as he arrived at their house, where Maggie and the others were already starting, to prepare everything for dinner. You had gone from the common dispensation to take what was missing and transported everything into a rather heavy basket. He got up from the same corner where he sat on the porch that afternoon, and you wondered if he had stayed there ever since.

“C'me here.”, he said disinterestedly and freed your arms from the heavy weight. You quickly opened the door to help him and followed him as he entered. There was a familiar coming and going between the kitchen and the huge dining room: Everyone was there. In your view, this scene was the perfect portrait of happiness and you were so lost in enjoying it that you barely noticed Maggie’s welcome embrace. As you both found each other, she seemed to have a constant need to hug or even touch you to make sure you were really with her.

“Hey!”, she called out to get your attention.

Carol was already digging in the basket while someone was already at the stove. It was not like a dinner you could have made in the former world, as the food you had was pretty rationed, but still it was perfect. As the conversations around you filled the room, you lost yourself in your thoughts a few times, completely unbelieving that you were really with them, because it was all too good to be true. When you came back to reality, you met Daryl’s eyes and he stared at you incomprehensibly.

“Y/N, you still have to tell us what happened after you parted with Daryl!”, Carl intervened, ending the conversation at the table.

“I haven’t separated from him on purpose.”, you said, looking at him. For a moment you wondered if he really thought you left him behind.

“The herd separated us, it was probably a trap… Then I was kidnapped… I don’t want to remember what happened, but luckily I managed to escape, the place was a damn hell, me I think I would have preferred to stay with Daryl a thousand times more.”, you explained, not thinking about what you could have done with those words.

“This damn place ’s full of naive assholes who don’t know how the world ’s goin’.”, Daryl corrected. You turned your face to him with your eyes wide with surprise. “How… How do you know that?”, you asked.

“Some of us had been looking for you, but we didn’t find you together, we finally arrived here because Daryl had managed to find your hints.”, Rick explained. You shuddered as you realized the immense risk that they had come in just to find you. You were scared, completely speechless.

“What happened?”, you asked in a trembling voice.

“We arrived at Terminus and asked for you.”

You analyzed the sentence and immediately realized that it was definitely not the place you were being held captive to talk about. You took a deep breath, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“What’s wrong with ya?”, Daryl asked harshly.

“When I escaped, the camp was under the control of a bastard, his name was Joe, he was the worst person I’ve ever met.”, you explained, without hiding the fear in your voice.

“I honestly doubt that Joe would have been more of a threat than anything we’ve experienced in Terminus!”, Glenn said jokingly.

“Why?”, you asked, and what they told you was something on the verge of horror, humanity and reason. They had more or less followed the rails at the edge of the forest. You could not even remember if Daryl and you had ever been near the rails… And at the end of them, that was the message, there should have been this community called Terminus. Terminus was nothing more than a refuge for cannibals who exploited the desperation of the survivors to trap them and feed them, like spiders with flies. They told you that Carol had saved them all and you turned to her and gave her a look of gratitude: She was a wonderful woman, strong and the person you wanted to be. Just like Michonne. After destroying this corner of hell, they settled in the church of Father Gabriel, where the surviving cannibals found them and threatened their safety again. They also told you that Abraham was determined to go to Washington because Eugene said he knew the cure for the epidemic, even though it was not true.

The man emptied the whole bottle of beer that had remained on the table during this story, then got up and went out, grunted and pulled out a pack of cigars to smoke outside. You felt yourself breathing deeply and removing the grudge you felt at that moment. They briefly explained all the efforts and demonstrations that had cost Aaron and Eric to convince them that you were really in Alexandria waiting for them. Thanks to Daryl, the two finally succeeded. And so you offered him a smile that made a perplexed expression on his face. Your heart was filled with joy as you realized that he hadn’t forgotten what you had been through and that he hadn’t remained indifferent to your signals. The dinner ended when Judith started to cry from exhaustion. As Rick finished the child for the night in the living room, you started to clear the table with the others. Michonne was a little unsure, as if in the living room together there was a demonstration of lack of trust in you: You smiled and offered help to roll out the sleeping bags and asked if you could stay with them. You stayed awake for an hour and a half, but the others were really tired, so they took turns sleeping as you ran to your house to get the shorts and shirt you used as pajamas. When you returned, Daryl was the only one who had not fallen asleep: He stood by the window next to Judith’s bed and watched the darkness outside, as if the people around him did not exist. You went to them, laid a gentle hand on the edge of the bed, and leaned forward to look at the small, blissfully sleeping child.

“Don’t you want to go to bed like the others, Daryl?”, you asked with a slight smile.

“Take care of yer own business.”, he replied flatly, resting his elbow on his knee and nibbling on the thumbnail of his right hand.

“Are you going to sleep here?”, you asked, finally looking at him.

“I don’t want to feel uncomfortable…”, you added, trying to be polite.

“Do I’ve to bring ya’ to bed 'nd feed ya’?”, he replied annoyed. You knew he intended to embarrass you. “No, my sleeping bag is too small for both of us and you still have to take a shower.”, you countered without looking at him, quickly arranging Judith’s blanket and straightening up. He looked at you with an unreadable expression and stared into your eyes. “Good night, Daryl.”, you said, turning your back to him, and all the emotions of the day coupled with the tiredness made you fall asleep for a short while, and a few hours later, you opened your eyes in the darkness of the living room. The silence that formed the backdrop for your family’s slow and regular breathing told you they were all asleep, rubbing your eyes, which you had just laboriously opened, trying not to move too much to wake someone up. Your eyes searched warily for the only source of light that made the window to your right, careful not to wake anyone, you slowly got up and walked over to Carol and Michonne to get your sweatshirt and boots, as you couldn’t see Daryl anywhere. You jumped into the kitchen to drink a glass of water, groping in the dark and then letting the light emit from the open fridge, there was no need to think about where Daryl could have gone because from where you were positioned you could suddenly see him from the window, sitting on the ground in the corner of the porch that could now be considered his own. His face was barely illuminated by the bright orange glow of his cigarette. You reached the front door, but before you went you put on your jacket too. Surely it was freezing cold out there… You opened the door slowly and closed it just as slowly behind you. You waited for some annoyed comment or a hint of anger, instead he raised his face to yours to look at you. Although it was dark, his eyes had the same effect and you felt your face flush. He inhaled and released the smoke, took the cigarette out of his mouth to speak, and held it between forefinger and thumb.

“I told you I was feeling unwell.”, you said with a smile, walking up to him and sitting next to him.

“That’s nothin’ to do with.”, he replied neutrally. “Ya’ ain’t tired anymore.”

You watched him closely, trying to understand what was behind his own insomnia.

“No one is going to hurt you in here.”, you tried to calm him down as he put out his cigarette on the floor and threw it across the porch.

“I assume yer proverbial caution made ya’ trust those people right 'way, didn’t ya’?”, he asked sarcastically without looking at you.

“On the contrary.”, you said. “It took a relatively long time for me to sleep in my bed and before I stopped locking myself up in my house.”, you continued, bringing you closer to him and your elbow touched his arm. He began to stare at you as if he were studying what you had just told him: Not even on your last evening together, sitting in the hut, were you physically so tense; His eyes were so intense and dangerously close, so you broke off the line of sight, embarrassingly coughing. He also looked away.

“Ain’t ya’ the one who believed that there were still good people?”, he asked rhetorically, almost as if he were on the same wavelength as if his thoughts had made him remember what you once said.

“Being careful does not mean you don’t trust others.”, you explained. “I was alone, Daryl, and bad things happened to me…”, you whispered sadly, keeping your knees tight against your chest.

“Aaron found ya’.”, he reminded you.

“When it was already too late, and we were also in pairs before we arrived in Alexandria.”

“Even when we escaped from prison, we’re only two.”, he said annoyed.

“It’s not the same.”

“Why?”, he exclaimed impatiently, with a hint of desperation in his voice. You were silent for a few moments before you spoke. “He’s not like you. Although he saved me.”

Daryl didn’t even have the courage to look you in the face for what he had thought was a sentimental nonsense. “Bullshit!”, he snapped. Your fingers tingled and you turned toward him. “At least I answer the questions, unlike you!”, you shouted, trying to keep a low tone.

“What do ya’ mean?”, he asked on the defensive.

“I mean, you didn’t even have the guts to answer me correctly when we were both on the way!”

He stiffened suddenly, moved back a bit and looked at you, his eyes narrowed to cold slits. You just looked at him with an eloquent look.

“Ya’ talk too much.”, he complained instead, leaning his back against the palisade of the porch. You said nothing and remained motionless for a few moments; When you surprised him, you got up and wanted to get away from him and go home. But he leaned over and grabbed your wrist and held you back. You looked down at him without the slightest expression on your face. Inside, however, you felt burned and your heart beat wildly. You sighed, tried to hold back your smile and turned slightly and searched out of the corner of your eye for his look. It was as always intense and not decipherable. With a slight movement of your arm, you freed yourself from his grip, immediately caught your fingers with his, to urge him to get up.

“Come, I’ll show you Alexandria.”, you said in a slight tone, but accepted no answer. Daryl remained silent for a moment, watching you intertwine with his fingers, but then released his grip with a snort and stood up. When he was ready to take the crossbow, you stopped him.

“You don’t need it, Daryl, try to trust yourself.”, you whispered, smiling. With uncertainty, he took a moment and opened the door to drop it to the nearby wall. You both started walking slowly through the streets of Alexandria on this cold but quiet night, as if it were a small tour. He was listening to your stories all the time, almost never speaking, only with a few statements to make it clear that he was following you. When we arrived near the pantry, you got an idea.

“And in that deposit is the pantry, the main food source in all of Alexandria, we should take a look, don’t you think?”, you asked with a sly smile that Daryl couldn’t interpret. There was mutual trust in Alexandria, so places like the pantry were never closed and for the same reason you entered the structure without any problems. The streetlights behind the building let in enough light so you didn’t need to turn on the lights.

“As you’ve noticed, each family in Alexandria is allocated a certain amount of food and the rations are evenly divided for each food category.”, you said as you wandered around the shelves to find what you were looking for.

“So what?”, he answered laconically.

You turned to face him and watched as you leaned against the pillar of the archway that separated that part of the pantry from the rest. “Some foods are rarer than others because they are not essential to survival.”, you said, opening the freezer and were pleased when you saw the chocolate, lying in aluminum foil on the bottom of the freezer. You grabbed a one, broke it in half, and put the other one back in its place. Daryl’s lips twisted into a thin, barely recognizable smile, but he seemed amused. You could see it, despite the darkness.

“So one of yer pursuits is to plunder the chocolate supply?”, he asked, grabbing a piece and chewing loudly.

“Well, there is not much to do here.”, you defended yourself, leaned against the freezer and ate your piece. As you started to talk, your eyes darted to the shelf next to Daryl, and you were attracted by something that caught your eye: Your lips unfurled into an amused smile, and you moved to the shelf and held out a hand.

“Here they have something for you.”, you said, picking up a bottle of beer and turning it over in your hands. You let yourself laugh, continued to offer him the bottle, and looked into his eyes without stopping to smile. Instead, he remained serious. He looked down at what you held in your hand and took it slowly. And then, as happened so many times in those few hours, he fixed his eyes with yours, very seriously, without saying anything, and without you being able to foresee, he came to you. You stopped, unable to take your eyes off his, as if you were completely hypnotized, and this face, bathed in shadows, had the power to paralyze you. It was as if it was easier for him to move and act in the dark, his pace as sure as his gaze. Even you, in spite of his intimidated eyes, felt more comfortable: In this small pantry the air was charged with electricity and you did not know if it was your feelings for him. He stopped when your toe tips almost touched, his body was very close and his warmth mingled with yours. And that look… Everything was so intimate, hidden but discreet. Daryl didn’t stop staring at you, testing your nerves, and despite your suddenly dry throat, managed to whisper: “What’s going on?”

He raised his arm and hugged your shoulders as the hand holding the bottle leaned against the freezer behind you and supported himself as he leaned over to hug you awkwardly.

“For you.”, he whispered in such a deep voice that you thought you had imagined it. This sentence meant everything and nothing and it was difficult to interpret at first. Despite his body against yours, it was a source of distraction. What could have been the opposite if you had found in every gesture, word or behavior a clue to the last days you both had spent together before you were separated? That was simply the clear and concise answer to the question you had always asked him: “Why have you changed your mind?”

For you. You made me change my mind.

Even if you had understood from the beginning what the answer was, it was unbelievable to hear it, even more, when you thought it was Daryl who had forced himself to do so.

The proud, distant and grumpy Daryl Dixon…

The only thing you could do was sink your face into his chest and tighten your arms around his waist, pressing him against me while your heart, body and mind were animated by feelings so strong and so on were brilliant. And you felt the electricity that came from every single pore. You took a deep breath, disbelieving that this really happened, and recognized your feelings for him even more. You were definitely too happy to ask any questions.

“I missed you so much, Daryl Dixon…”, you whispered, hiding your smile in his shirt. His grip on your shoulders increased, then it eased off as he snorted, simulated a laugh, and moved away from you.

“Yer in danger again this time?”, he asked ironically, stepping back, discouraging his embarrassment and smiling alternately.

“Of course not.”, you answered shyly.

Soon after, you agreed that it was time to go home, so you both left the pantry and looked around as soon as you were outside. The sky began to clear gradually, surely the dawn was already near; You walked silently side by side to the house. When he saw that you did not follow him up the stairs, he turned and looked at you questioningly. You put your hands in the pockets of your jacket, bending your head to one side.

“I think I’ll sleep at home, the floor is a bit uncomfortable, and I don’t want to fall over Carol and Michonne.”

Suddenly the sleep became noticeable, which strained your eyelids and your shoulders. Nevertheless, you had never felt so awake.

„Okay. I’ll tell the others that ya’ went to yer house.“, he said neutrally in his usual tone.” Good night.“, he added and turned around.

"Hey, Daryl.”, you called before he was entering the house. He turned to you and waited with his hand on the door handle. “Why don’t you come to see me tomorrow? I have a bathtub.”, you suggested, hoping he would say yes. He frowned, not at all tempted by the suggestion. “Forget it!”, he said louder, emphasizing it with a gesture of his arm. But you smiled, regardless of his reaction.

“Well, you can’t get around that.”, you said and went home. You ignored his many protests as you were further away, turned around and added sarcastically, “See you later, asshole!”

“Yer jus’ causin’ trouble!”, he snapped loudly before vanishing into the house with a laugh…