Daryl and Aaron returned to Alexandria a week later. By the time the two recruits left the walls behind, Daryl's unease and fate was following you everywhere. Yet, even for a moment, they could not scratch your trust in him, your hope, and your assurance that he would return. That he and Aaron would be back together. While Daryl was absent, you apologized to Aiden, Spencer and even to your family, thus relieving yourself of a heavy burden.

Life in Alexandria continued quietly: Your family began to get used to living within this community and you were happy with it. Rick forced Deanna to provide more guards to monitor the perimeter of the towers, not just at the gate. To reassure him, she immediately agreed and quickly studied a number of shifts with Maggie, who had become her counselor. You insisted on joining because you wanted to be more useful outside the walls. Maggie and Deanna granted it to you. A few days ago you actually asked to go with one of the groups who were looking for supplies and received a gentle but dry refusal from Deanna. It reminded you that your help was needed here. From there you gave up, but convinced yourself that you would try again. Before trying to improve your abilities with weapons, you promised to follow Aaron's suggestion and Daryl, Carol, and everyone else who was willing to ask.

In order not to suffer from lack of loneliness, you surrounded yourself with people: You spent more time with Maggie, with Carl and with the rest of the group. You doubled the time of the lessons for the children, which took place on Wednesday and Friday. For them and to teach them more which made you feel good. That's why you stayed in school until late afternoon that Wednesday.

Before you arrived at Rick's in the evening, you decided to make a stopover to cool off and take a shower before going to dinner. When you arrived in front of Rick's house and the others of your family, the words in your throat fell silent, and you stopped to stare at the person smoking under the porch. Your heart started beating furiously in your chest long before you realized that you had Daryl in front of you, just a few steps away from you. He was back. He was fine. He was alive. Daryl noticed you a few seconds later and returned your gaze with an undecipherable expression. Maybe you just imagined it, but it seemed to you that his lips were bent in a small smile.

"Daryl! You're back!", you cheered, standing in front of him struggling not to jump into his arms. During his absence you had often imagined what it would be like to see each other again, in your daydreams you usually threw your arms around his neck and held him in an almost suffocating hug, very close to his strong arms, but the reality was not the same and you could not explain yourself why, maybe you needed to understand how far you could go, with the affection statements opposite a man so cold and contemptuous of physical contact.

"Told ya' so.", he answered and inhaled the smoke.

"Are you alright?", you asked, approaching him without realizing it.

"Yes.", he answered immovably.

"And Aaron?", you asked again.

"He's fine.", he reassured you and stretched casually.

You looked at his eyes, his lips, his hair, his hands, his shoulders: God, how you missed him. All the fear and worry that had followed you in those days vanished as if it had never been there.

"It's nice to see you again, Dixon. Welcome home.", you mumbled and smiled at him, his eyes fixed on you for a moment and you seemed lost in his intense look, which said more than a thousand words, then he snorted and looked uneasily to one side.

"As if.", he snapped and threw aside the finished smoked cigarette. You had such a longing to ask him to tell you how their trip had ended, what he and Aaron had done or saw, but you would have been embarrassed to talk to him about something like that in the company of others. You felt the need to be alone with Daryl, because only you yourselves could feel comfortable in the company of each other. When you were with the rest of your family, you did not talk much. While you did not ignore each other, you limited your interaction to the bare essentials. You did not know if Daryl did it so as not to arouse suspicion or any other reason. You just knew that you wanted to agree, though you thought there was nothing to hide. Or maybe he was the one who was afraid to show something that you would have noticed?

You spent a nice evening together. You did not miss Daryl's amused smirk on some of Rick's questions to you about your teaching job in Alexandria and looked at him from the other side of the table. Maybe you could ask him to bring you home without worrying about what your family would think if they saw you go away together. And it would have been more suspicious if you continued to ignore each other.

With a neutral face as the evening drew to a close, you ran to Daryl, who was sitting with Judith on the living room carpet. You stopped for a second to look at her: The little girl was playing with a teddy bear, her favorite toy since the days in the Prison. Daryl, sitting cross-legged, supported her. Few things made your heart tremble like seeing a man who was so strong and sometimes not so reassuring, yet playing with a fragile little creature like Judith. For a second, you wondered how Daryl would act as a father... But you hastily ignored this thought and approached them.

"What are you doing?", you asked to say anything at all and took the little girl in your arms. Since you worked at the gates of the community and at school, you could not be with her as often as you wanted, and you were sorry. She was a very sweet little girl.

"Very serious stuff...", Daryl joked, patting Judith's cheek.

"Yeah, very serious!", you laughed, bending down and looking for the little girl's gaze as if you were addressing her, while Judith looked at you with Lori's eyes and opened in a dazzling smile.

"Speaking of serious things, can you take me home? I need to talk to you.", you said smiling and Daryl gave you a confused look.

"Yer still drunk 'nd need someone to drag ya' home?", he asked, opening his mouth in a mocking smile.

You were blushing, holding your hands to Judith's ears, while whispering 'Bullshit.' and under his laughter you tried to keep going. "Please, Daryl, it's important."

He eyed you suspiciously. "What did ya' do when I left?"

You looked up desperately. "Can't you just trust me and just go with me without all these questions?"

"Whatever ya' want.", he answered hastily and visibly annoyed.

Half an hour later, when you left the house together, you saw Daryl's shoulders relax dramatically as you walked slowly to your house. This was in the same street, so you had to hurry up and immediately find the courage to ask what you owed to the man next to me. The noise of your footsteps on the asphalt was the only background in the stillness of the evening.

"You were so hasty about your mission with Aaron. Are you sure that everything went well?", you asked, breaking the silence as Daryl turned around and looked at you.

"Is that so? Ya' just wan' to make me talk?", he asked, his tone calm despite everything, less on the defensive than before.

"No, Daryl.", you answered. "You know, it's something that people do, talk to each other..."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Nothin' happened that's worth tellin' we used to c'me back for a reason."

"Have you found anything useful? Supplies? Medicines?", you asked curiously.

"No, obviously we went the wrong way."

You nodded, not sure what to say. After a few moments of silence and when you arrived in front of your house, you gathered your courage and spoke. "Anyway, I asked you to come with me to ask you something...", you said, sounding confused as you stood in front of him. Daryl said nothing, but looked you in the eye and waited for you to say something again. So you took a deep breath before making the request. "I wanted to ask you if you can help me to show me how to shoot more precisely with weapons..."

His expression remained unperturbed, but you noticed a startling expression that only shook his shoulders. "Weapons?"

"Yes. If possible... I mean, I can, but I need to improve.", you explained, straightening your back and showing firm determination.

"Ya' wanna learn how to shoot better?", he inquired. "Don't ya' 'member anythin' 'bout Rick's training?", he asked, for a moment giving the impression that he was talking about an eternity a lot of time has passed, how many people have joined your family and how many have you lost...

"Of course I do. I can use weapons, but not as well as I want. In fact not as good as actually needed. I have to improve my shooting. I have to learn to hunt and follow the footsteps."

"Ya' need everythin' in here?"

His question surprised you. "I need it out there."

"Yer ain't leavin' the walls.", he answered, less as a deliberation, more like an order.

"At the moment. But I want to go out someday. For a reason. Again, it can be useful to be more like you. I want to learn to better defend myself and others, Daryl. It is not possible that after all this time I still have not gotten better. Carl is smaller than me and yet he's already an expert because I do not have this competence or what?", you exclaimed with a trace of desperation in your voice.

"Ya' can defend yerself 'nd ya' know how to defend others.", he replied, studying you seriously.

"With a few random shots and a machete, that does not help me if I have to defend myself from afar."

"I think ya' 've no idea what yer sayin', Y/N."

"I just ask you to help me, not to be a burden anymore.", you replied warmly.

"Okay...", he finally said in his exhausted voice and your heart started beating faster. "Thanks, Daryl, it means a lot to me."

He murmured something unintelligible, climbed the stairs of your porch and avoided having to hold on to it with a wave of his hand. "We'll talk 'bout it tomorrow, 'nd Olivia's weapons 'nd permission to get out of that cage 're needed as well.", he said, to distract you from your gratitude.

"Since when do you ask for permission?", you asked ironically and put your hands on your hips.

Daryl grunted. "Have to ask 'cause of ya'.", he underlined contemptuously. "I can go out when I want."

You burst out laughing with the annoyed expression on your face. "Daryl Dixon, the apocalypse rebel!"

"Shut up 'fore yer sympathy makes me change my mind!", he said, grinning and pointing with a nod to the front door.

"Yes, Boss!", you shouted a military salute and Daryl rolled his eyes but hardly nodded. "Night.", he said as a goodbye, turned his back to you and finally went home, you watched him as he walked away. Shortly thereafter, unexpectedly, something in you trembled, tingling in your fingers and moving into your legs to move them, and just before Daryl came down the first step of the porch, you grabbed his hand, and he turned to you in surprise. But you did not give him the time to say a word.
You put your arms around him and hugged him, burying your face in his shirt. You had missed his smell, his body against yours, his heartbeat on your ear. To have him there in your arms, safe from a world you could not protect him out there, made you sigh happily.

"Y/N...", he protested weakly. You felt the beating of the heartbeat and his breathing became more hectic.

"Shut up.", you murmured against the fabric of his shirt and pushed even closer to him, defying all expectations, Daryl dropped his arms onto your shoulders after a few moments of indecision and held on to you, then leaned his head in and you swallowed to find the courage to express what you should say.

"I want to protect you, Daryl, I don't care about anything else, if I can't do that, when you're not with me, I want to be successful at least when we're together...", you whispered, so softly, that for a moment you feared he wouldn't hear you. But when you said it, you felt Daryl taking a deep breath, as if in a silent thank you. You also remembered the angry words he had addressed to you in the shed where you had taken shelter together.

You could never fully understand the suffering that Daryl had to endure from an early age. You imagined him as a kid, with a violent father, a mother too weak to protect him, and a brother who never knew how to be a real brother. Daryl had a childhood he did not deserve. His only problem was being born into a family that was unable to take care of him, to love him, to protect him. And that consciousness hurt you.

That was what you admired so much about Daryl: Despite his difficult past and the deep wounds that, you knew, never stopped burning inside, he was one of the best people you have ever known. And also one of the most fragile people...

Daryl thought he had changed his mind about the kindness of people through you, but in fact the opposite is true: You were unable to lose hope in humanity when sitting next to a man like Daryl Dixon. He was thankful that your hopes were not dead. And Rick, all the good people you met on your way.

He could have tried everything to get away from you, but you would not have cared: You would have been close to him in every possible way. You would have been there for him, you would have protected him, you would have made him feel important and worth loving. You wanted him to understand that there is someone who really cares about him. He would never have managed to keep you away, never.

You remained trapped in this embrace for a time that seemed infinite to you. You could really stay that way forever. Daryl, on the other hand, could only endure this proximity to a certain extent. After a while he let you go in silence. He looked you in the eye, without saying anything, turned around and went home. Watching his back, covered by the vest with the wings of an angel, you thought you had made the right decision by asking him to teach you how to survive even better.

You had so much to lose.
Too much to finally fight for it.


The next morning, as you walked side by side to Deanna's house, the nervousness permeated you because you were not at all sure if your request would be accepted. You knew that you would find Maggie also at the Monroe's home: She and Deanna became a team on a project.

"Yer alright?", Daryl asked after your annoyed snort. Maybe he had noticed how quiet you were.

"Yes, I'm just thinking about what words to use to convince them to do it.", you replied, trying to control yourself.

He arched his shoulders arrogantly. "Tell 'em ya' want to do it 'nd that ya' will do it."

You burst out laughing, amused by his false arrogant tone. "Convincing, but I remind you that only you can afford that kind of tone.", you answered, looking at him. He held his rough expression for a moment, then he chuckled, shook his head, and kept walking. "That's also true."

The presence of Daryl, in spite of everything, reassured you and gave you the peace and quiet you needed. He stopped when Deanna let you sit in her living room, as if a guardian angel were watching your back. You tried to speak calmly, explain your reasons, and tried not to burden Maggie's worried expression too much as you sat on the sofa in front of you. You could understand what she was thinking: She was worried, but she knew you were right. You had to focus on it, she was the only one who could understand you. Deanna had never experienced what you had been through, so she could not understand what made you make that request. In her opinion, you have always put yourself in unnecessary danger.

"Y/N, we need you here.", she repeated to you as if she had asked you to go on a mission.

"To do what, check that there are no Walkers near the gates, we almost never have anything to do there, Deanna, and it's good, it means no one needs our care because it's alright. I know how the world is further out of these walls, and I want to be able to handle it even more.", you said warmly. She studied you with her frowning expression and stiff stance. She was not angry and you understood: She just did not know how to answer. Because you were right. She turned to Maggie to ask for her opinion or get help to convince yoh and you could not understand it. Maggie's gaze focused on Deanna, then she leaned back to you, and finally to Daryl. He had seen the whole exchange without saying a word, but concentrated in the silence.

Maggie sighed. "The idea doesn't inspire me, but I can not refuse it, this place is safe, but it still needs more defending.", she explained as your heart began to accelerate. Maggie turned to you, looked you in the eye and smiled. "Each of us has a job.", she added, and that's what Rick always said to us. You smiled back, hoping that she could see the gratitude in your eyes.

Deanna sighed. "Alright.", she answered. "If it doesn't bother Daryl."

You all turned to Daryl at the same time as he shrugged as if he did not attach importance to the matter.

"Ain't a problem for Daryl... ", he snapped, your smile widening beyond measure, you wanted to hold both Daryl and Maggie in a stifling embrace at the same time.

Daryl and you then went to Olivia to ask her to take a look at the armory after making sure you had Deanna's approval. You were with Daryl in the chamber full of weapons.

"What did ya' need so far?", he asked. Without thinking, he touched his chin with his fingers and looked interested at all the weapons.

"Just what you've seen so far.", you added, giving him a small smile. "I can aim better now.", you added. "Which one do you think is the best?"

"Well, with the Assault Rifle, ya' 've more leeway 's more shots 're fired... Yet every bullet 's important."

"Do you think there are weapons that suit me better?", you asked slightly sarcastically and suddenly felt insecure.

"Any weapon 's suitable if ya' 've to survive, an assault rifle, a shotgun, a pistol: Ain't a difference.", Daryl said. "This weapon 's a good start, 's ya' continue to improve yer aim, ya' will be safer with any weapon, 'nd ya' will feel comfortable with more difficult tasks.", he explained.

You've never heard so much and so passionately about it. It was really nice to finally discuss something so fluid. He had taken his role as a 'mentor' seriously, and he wanted you to feel good, respect your abilities, even if he would never admit it. You were really lucky... Even though Daryl was sometimes an impetuous and slightly angry man, when he was teaching something, he was the most patient and helpful person you've ever dealt with. And now he spent the next few weeks training you every time you both had time. He taught you how to improve your aim by using a silenced weapon similar to Carl's. You had your own space, a small space between the trees where you could train. Usually you used empty glasses as targets: Daryl placed them on a tree trunk and you had to hit them from different distances. Still, you hadn't told Michonne to worry her. You felt safe with Daryl. You would always feel safe. You had even expanded your basic knowledge of pursuit, survival and self-defense if you had found yourself in particularly difficult situations. During those weeks, you felt your attachment to Daryl even stronger. It was nice to spend so much time in his presence, united by a common goal. He had not begun to be more expansive or tender, but you could understand that in the end he somehow felt well in your presence. His stance was less rigid, less willing to retract in the event of physical contact, and his expression was more relaxed. Sometimes, after a mistake or a joke, you even laughed together. The very first lesson on posture to improve made you blush. Just because Daryl let you understand better how to position yourself, he stood behind you. His face was close to your ear, his chest a few inches from your back. This closeness instantly causes a chill in your whole body. He had his arms outstretched beside you and his hands on the gun you were holding to put you in the right position.

"Would be better if ya' held yer arms like this... ", he had instructed you, while you focused instead on his tone: He seemed quieter and less firm than usual.

"Okay...", you stammered and his breath tickled your ear.

When it was time to use the assault rifle, he had helped you lift your elbow better and turn your shoulders by placing his hands on your hips to adjust your posture. These approaches had been so sudden that they had you confused for a moment. Your training was discontinued, however, when Daryl was hired by Aaron for a new recruiting mission. He told you about it after dinner, a few days before he left.

"I'm leavin' on Monday.", he just said and approached you while holding Judith in your arms, you turned to him and smiled at him. "Alright.", you replied quietly so as not to wake the little girl. Daryl looked at you for a moment, his hands in his pockets and his blue eyes staring straight into yours. "I asked Carol if she could train you while I'm gone.", he informed you, and you noticed a disturbing tone in his so neutral-sounding voice.

"Carol has plenty to do, she has to cook for half Alexandria.", you said firmly. "Do not worry, Daryl, I'm waiting for you to come back.", you added, softening your tone. The look you gave him could not support him. He stammered a bit and went out to smoke a cigarette without adding anything else. You smiled to yourself, returning your attention to Judith, still asleep in your arms. You made sure not to wake her, got up and went upstairs to put her in her bed.


On the last day before Daryl's departure, you had to work in the morning. So you thought it would be a good idea to have breakfast together in the forest with the coffee in the thermos bottle you had put in your backpack.

"What ya' 've in there?", Daryl asked after you left Alexandria and alluded to what you held firmly in your hands.

"Something good.", you replied, smiling at him sheepishly.

"Ya' want to poison me?", he asked with a grin and put his crossbow over his shoulder.

You looked in the sky. "You got me!", you snorted, feigning anger.

You reached your usual place and sat on a log to eat your breakfast. The air was still cold, but the sun was already shining and illuminating the surroundings. Only you, Daryl and the silence around you, no Walkers, no dangers. You opened the lunchbox and handed Daryl the knife to share the bread. As he ate the first one, you glared at his usual elegance and tried not to laugh. When he was done, he licked his fingers and noticed that you were watching him.

"What?", he mumbled, swallowing the last bite. You chuckled, took your half and shook your head. "It's always a pleasure to make something to eat for you."

You sat in silence to continue your breakfast. With Daryl you would have stayed in this forest forever and enjoyed the beauty of dawn. You watched him drink the coffee: Actually, you had something to tell him before he went. Even if you did not know how he would react, you cultivated the hope that he would not oppose too much.

"Daryl?", you called to get his attention and he turned to you.

"Yes?"

You took a deep breath before saying: "I'll go, too, in about a week.", you confessed, keeping your eyes fixed on his. If this had been the time of the Prison, if you had not known him so well, you would not even have noticed the stiffening of his shoulders. It was an almost imperceptible change, but you saw it immediately. His eyes looked unreadable.

"Okay?"

You nodded and looked at the damp soil at your feet. "It's just one of those expeditions, I'm going with Glenn, he convinced Maggie and Deanna to give me a chance."

Daryl was silent for a few moments: "Were these idiots Nicholas, Spencer, and Aiden outta their hands? Ain't it their job, or am I wrong?"

Shit... You were hoping he would not remember. "Yes but-..."

"Be careful. These guys ain't reliable.", he said, putting the thermos bottle in his pocket and picking up what you had eaten for breakfast, it seemed he did not want to elaborate on the subject, and you did not understand what that was all about with Aiden or the fact that Daryl almost got into a fight with Nicholas and Spencer, and Glenn had never talked about them well, and feared that it was Spencer and Nicholas in particular who could endanger themselves and the entire team. You did not know what to answer but of course you would have been careful.

"Yer scared?"

You turned to Daryl and noticed that he was staring at you with a tilted head, trying to figure out what was going through your head. You straightened your shoulders and snorted: "Of course not."

He smiled lightly and, with the single power of his gaze, transmitted courage and confidence in you. "That's what I thought.", he said and your heart quickened his heartbeat. After these weeks, marked by the constant presence of Daryl, it was even harder to see him go away. You just escorted him to the gates, the morning he left; You only exchanged a long look and a few words.

"Keep trainin'.", was the only recommendation he gave you before he left.

"When you come back, I'll be so good that I don't need you anymore.", you replied, smiling at him, and he was smiling back, then turning around to reach Aaron outside the walls. You wanted to hug him, but you held yourself back: You had to keep this hug for his return, he had to come back, and you're sure he would, you'd meet again, you'd both go on missions and you'd come home safe. You were pretty sure. You would be ready for the expedition the next few days before the start, but no, you got sick, of course it had to happen... You were mad at your damn immune system, especially because you did not know when you would ever again be allowed to go out with one of the troops and you finally wanted to apologize to Aiden. Talking to Aaron, you understood that Aiden would forever just be a good friend and you just needed to tell him an explanation and had to make things clear once and for all.

"Do you finally realize your place is here?", Denise and Tara teased you as they prepared an infusion for you. They had actually insisted that you stay with them so they could take care of you.

"Did Deanna find someone to replace me?", you asked Tara without hiding your bad temper. She sat down on the table and handed you a cup of tea. "Actually, Spencer, Glenn and Aiden wanted to go by themselves, but Nicholas offered to take your place.", she informed you. "Tonight we'll stay with you, but Glenn will come by again.", Tara said and you nodded without adding anything. It was a long time since you fell ill; Even with such terrible flu in the Prison, you had managed to stay immune. You sighed, leaving yourself to the facts and crouching, overwhelmed by exhaustion...


Still, the unthinkable has happened in the end...

In the months that you had spent in Alexandria, you had changed your attitude to your daily lives: You were calmer, you considered everything as if the danger was no longer the main element of your lives. Of course, you worried about the fate of your family, but every day you stood with the assurance that they were safe, beyond the high walls that protected the community. And even if they were looking for supplies, you had confidence in their survival skills. Still, you had not lost consciousness of the danger, you had just tried to be optimistic. You had calmed down and that was the biggest mistake you could make...

You first understood that it was a mistake when Glenn returned from the mission that you wanted to attend...

On your second day of your cold, you were not strong enough yet to get out of the house, but at least to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. You had drunk your first sip when you heard the front door open. So you walked slowly to the entrance to see who it was. Glenn came in, his clothes dirty, his face emaciated and glistening with sweat. You had never seen him like that before. You approached him worriedly: As you approached, you noticed that his hands were smeared with blood.

"Glenn, your hands!", you called, holding the glass in one hand and grabbing him with the other hand to check that he hadn't been hurt or bitten. As soon as you touched his skin, you noticed that he was shaking. You looked at him and met his shocked expression. "What happened?", you asked, noting the fear that was spreading inside you. Behind him, you suddenly heard Maggie.

"What the hell happened?", she called alarmed.

Glenn's eyes wandered to her and then returned to you. His eyes filled with tears as he looked at you with a dazed and confused expression. He unfolded his lips and tried to speak, but he was partly so angry that no sound came out. Maggie gently pushed you aside to take her husband's face in her hands. "Glenn, look at me!", she commanded, trembling as well.

For some reason, breathing became increasingly difficult. There was something wrong. Something terribly wrong, which burdened your body at once.

"Glenn, tell me what happened!", Maggie said in a broken voice. He took her hands smeared with blood and lowered them to turn in your direction. His eyes pierced yours with a heartbreaking desperation. He left Maggie's hands and stood in front of you with a big step. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I'm so sorry...", he whispered in a voice broken with pain. Your hand let go of the glass, which fell to the ground and broke into a thousand pieces, along with a little part of you.

"Aiden...", he said, but you did not let him finish the sentence. You felt your arms move away from Glenn, your legs gave way and your knees didn't support the weight of your body anymore. You heard the shattering cry and the burning tears on your cheeks; You saw Maggie grab you by the shoulders and support you as if you were a piece of inanimate matter. You looked at the situation as if you were outside of your own body. That wasn't true, it couldn't be true...

Aiden is dead.