The optimism you had tried to convey to yourself and Daryl seemed to have left you the next morning when you woke up. In fact, you lifted your head off the pillow with a depressing sense of fear that seized you. You sat on the edge of the bed as soon as you slipped out of the blanket and stared out the window with a bad feeling. You shook your head, trying to dispel the discomfort, and stood up to deal with the usual morning routine.

After breakfast you left your house to go see Maggie and Glenn. You were still ready to help her talk to the people of Alexandria to convince them that Rick did not deserve the exile.

Rick... You wondered if he had recovered...

"Wow, we can even find each other without a personal agreement!"

You shook yourself out of your thoughts as you saw Maggie come down the porch steps and joined you. In fact, you had not agreed with her the previous day and you just told Glenn. So you smiled at her: "That's no surprise."

"I'm surprised that you're already awake, I just wanted to go home to you, convinced to pull you out of bed!", she teased laughing. You shrugged and went for a walk beside her. "Nevertheless, I didn't sleep well."

Maggie frowned at you. "Are you worried?"

You nodded uncertainly. "And you?"

"I didn't think that Rick would have taken that direction and that the situation with Pete would have been so fast."

You shook your head. "Don't worry."

Maggie crossed her lips to a sad smile. "Okay...", she answered and stroked your cheek with a fleeting gesture.

You changed the subject quickly. "Anyway, they've moved Pete to another house."

"Yeah, Glenn told me, and now we have to deal with the most difficult question."

"True...", you said and felt pretty stupid.

Maggie sighed. "I said I would talk to the residents, but I don't know how much it will help."

You looked down and kicked a stone with the toe of your boot as you silently walked your way. You did not understand why, but it seemed like you were breathing another air this morning. As if all the tension that had exploded the previous day had contaminated the air around you, there was a strange, tense atmosphere. Everything was the same and yet incredibly different.

"We have to talk to Deanna first."

Maggie nudged you. "I think about what to say to sound convincing..."

Only then did you realize that you both had begun to walk aimlessly, absorbed as you were. You chuckled and shook your head as you drew her attention. "We will not arrive then."

Maggie frowned, so you hurried to reassure her. "I'm kidding, just think of the coincidences, Deanna and I were just talking about Pete and Rick when it happened yesterday..."

She nodded: "Let's say it was no surprise to some of us."

"I'm just afraid to find out how they're thinking right now... Yesterday she was worried about Rick's impatience and you know that we need her support to make him stay, but I'm not sure anymore at this point..."

Maggie stopped and put a hand on your shoulder to encourage you. "We'll be able to convince Deanna, she also knows that Alexandria needs us as well."

You frowned, thinking that you had given others the courage the day before, while this morning was harder than usual. But the tensions between your family and the people who had taken you in when Aiden and you were alone were reflected in you, making you feel split in two...

You arrived at Deanna's house and Spencer greeted you both and let you wait in the living room while he searched for Deanna. You noticed that Maggie stared out the window with a grim look. As you leaned forward to see, you understood why: Father Gabriel was outside. Maggie had mistakenly heard a conversation between the priest and Deanna, who has warned that you were dangerous and that they should not trust you. You had seen him suspicious since then; in fact, it hurt you that a man of faith could be so pejorative with people who had saved him.

Spencer sent you to the room where Deanna was waiting for you. As soon as he left, she spoke and skipped any kind of courtesy. You had never seen her so serious.

"What do you want to talk about?", Deanna asked. Maggie immediately took command of the conversation from her hands. Maybe she had seen you too worried to allow you to mediate again. "About the meeting today."

"I want to parry with everyone about what happened and what we need to do.", Deanna replied immediately.

Maggie kept a serious expression. "If this meeting banishes Rick, it will not work."

"Tell me what you mean exactly.", the woman replied, raising an eyebrow.

"You talked to us, you decided, and now you want to entrust this decision to some frightened people who don't even know the whole story.", Maggie continued, pausing before she spoke again, "He's not a dictator."

Deanna had heard everything without saying a word. Spencer intervened and tried to reassure you by saying that the date scheduled for that day was just a meeting to gather everyone's opinions.

"And I will make the final decision as I always have.", Deanna shrugged.

"He was just frustrated, he saw so many bad things, he lost so many things, we all lost something and done something bad."

Deanna answered in a broken voice. "We also lost many things..."

Maggie looked at her for a moment, just like you and Spencer, before confidently saying: "We've lost more."

At this point, Deanna began to fidget. "Rick has pointed the gun on innocent people!"

Maggie remained unmoved. "He didn't pull the trigger.", she said and you looked at her.

"And we ought to rely on that?", the woman cried, staring into your eyes as if looking for support, maybe she thought you would not speak because you actually agreed with her.

"Yes.", you replied in Maggie's name.

"Y/N, you should know how things work here."

"I know how they run, and if you knew, Deanna, believe me, you wouldn't be so upset if one man aimed a weapon at another, outside the walls it's perfectly normal. And you know what? I would be afraid if someone outside these walls would come at me with open arms and not a gun in his hand.", you answered trying not to be overwhelmed by emotions.

"Outside is outside, but here we try to maintain a certain civilization, and those who live here need to feel safe!"

"Safety is the most important thing for Rick. He was just frustrated.", you responded warmly and picked up Maggie's words again. "We need Rick here. You know it. If you don't want to trust Maggie or someone who has been here recently, trust me at least. You're welcome."

Deanna looked at you for a few moments, with a contrite expression and her eyes that were the mirror of her inner conflict. "Well... I'll do what I have to do.", she murmured in a monotone voice.

You heard Maggie break out in frustration behind you and saw her run down the stairs like a flash and leave. Before you could reach her when you were on the last step, Spencer grabbed your arm and you immediately turned around.

"Y/N, I'm going to talk to you, I'm going to talk to everyone tonight, we have to stop running and finally live together if we want to maintain some civilization!", he assured you, quoting what his mother had said.

"Thank you.", you replied annoyed, before turning to run to Maggie, and the disagreement with Deanna didn't discourage you at all. You spent the whole morning talking to as many inhabitants of Alexandria as possible, and you noticed a lot of uncertainty in their faces, confusion and fear. You certainly could not blame them, but you hoped that your word counted for them, after all, they knew you before the 'new, terrifying individuals' rescued by Aaron arrived... Maggie smiled but said nothing so you looked at her thoughtfully: Sure, she questioned the outcome of your round of attempted conviction, if you could call it that. You walked silently for a while, then Maggie spoke again.

"I haven't seen Daryl yet."

"I think he went out this morning..."

She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I understand it, I would do it too if I could."

It was the first time you felt a vague sense of suffocation in those walls. If you could, you would have run out of the gate at the same time, staying out with Daryl until the mess calmed down. Preferably only he and you, as happened after the destruction of the Prison; or like training at dawn the previous month. Instead, you would have stayed inside, continuing your desperate attempt to act as a hinge between two worlds that seemed almost incompatible at the time.


The meeting was to take place in the backyard of Deanna's house... Around the small fire that had been lit on that cold autumn evening to keep you warm stood on one side the inhabitants of Alexandria and on the other side your family. You were right in the middle and Spencer and Deanna sat opposite you. Maggie, next to you, kept looking anxiously at the entrance to the yard. "Where is Glenn?"

In her whisper you felt all the fear because she had not seen him since that morning and you could not blame her; not even Daryl appeared. In fact, they were not the only ones missing: Rick, Pete, Nicholas, and Father Gabriel were also missing.

Deanna decided that the meeting would have started equally without the two main protagonists. If you had something to say, you could start talking. It was like a strange kind of spoken choreography, in which the opinions of the inhabitants of Alexandria and 'yours' changed, even though it was not so clear to you, in your opinion.
More or less bland doubts were expressed about the reliability of Rick; Fear that one day your leader might lose his head and kill himself without being conscientious.
Anyone who has known Rick for a long time has not failed to vigorously defend him: First Michonne spoke, then Carol, Abraham, Maggie and others of you to convince the doubters that the best choice for all was that Rick stayed here.
They gave you time to think about what to say, as if you were a mediator between the two groups: When it was time to speak, you felt a little nervous; You had to choose the right words, though many of the things you wanted to express had already been said by the others.

"I, like Rick and all of us, have been through a lot. We have changed, we had to change to survive. This man has had the courage to take on the difficult task of a leader to enable us all to go forward and protect ourselves from the enemy and the living dead. I know his ways may seem unorthodox, but it is thanks to him if I can be with you right now to talk about it. Believe me, you need Rick, this place needs Rick Grimes. You just don't see it yet. But we, we just have to stay together, live together, fight together."

After your intervention, there followed a few moments of silence muted by the crackle of the little fire's glow. You hoped that despite this silence, your speech had arrived. That those who listened to you understood it too. Since no one could add anything, Deanna continued the word, letting know, in the name of transparency, what Father Gabriel had told her, adding that what Rick had done was affirmation; You clenched your fists as you felt a wave of anger come over you. But you had to stay calm...

"I was hoping Gabriel would be here tonight.", she finished and stepped back.

"I don't see him, Deanna, but you're telling something someone else said.", Jessie pointed out. "Did you record it?"

"He isn't here.", Maggie said.

"Not even Rick!", Deanna answered hard.

Maggie stared at her for a few moments with the same hardness in her own eyes, then she said goodbye with a simple "Sorry." and went. You followed her spontaneously, but stopped, reminding yourself that your job was to stay there to defend Rick.

After an initial moment of embarrassment, Denise, one of the original residents of Alexandria, decided to speak. You followed her gaze like everyone else. At the entrance to Deanna's backyard, Rick had shown up, blood on his face and a dead body on his right shoulder. For a second, you were really scared that it was Pete...
He walked past you and threw the lifeless body to the ground, which turned out to be the body of a Walker. "There were no guards outside the gate, it was open!", he said in an excited and aggressive tone.

You looked to Deanna with a look for explanations.

"I asked Gabriel to close it.", Spencer said suddenly.

"Go away!", Deanna ordered with a serious expression as Rick stepped forward and approached the fire. " I didn't bring him in. He came in here on his own!", he replied, then turned to Deanna and Spencer, who watched in astonishment: "They will always show up here, the dead and the living, because we are here and the people out there hunt and will find us. They will try. But we will survive: And I can show you how!"

As he spoke, Rick looked around and gradually met the eyes of the other inhabitants of Alexandria; When you felt his clear eyes, you felt something in your stomach... He knew that what he was saying was true, and you hoped that awareness would reach people who were watching him with fear. You looked at Deanna, who was getting paler; Maybe she began to realize that Alexandria was the only thing she had to save herself from the outside world.

"You know, I've been thinking..." Rick scratched his temple with his finger and looked almost neutral. "I've been thinking about how many of you I have to kill to save your life."

You felt uncomfortable when you met Carol's disappointed look, as if you both agreed that this sentence was unnecessary. It was unhelpful to say so in front of a group of frightened people discussing his exile.

"But I don't have to do it because you're going to change!", he added in a more conciliatory tone. Then he turned directly to Deanna. "I don't regret what I said last night: I'm sorry I didn't say it before, you're not ready, but you have to be ready otherwise luck will leave you!"

His words filled the silence and hovered between you, like the echo of something that was frightened, but that had to be confronted in order not to risk complete destruction.

And suddenly there was the person who would have better stayed in his house: Pete.

"You're not one of us.", he said, giving everyone time to turn to him. "You are not one of us!", he repeated with a cry, and as he raised his arms in frustration, you realized he had a knife. Rick remained unmoved, and Spencer went to calm him down, while Deanna called her son's name to warn him not to come too close to Pete. Rick stared at Pete with an icy stare, his hand on his holster and then it happened... That moment of confusion, the excitement peaked and the chaos exploded, it happened so fast that time seemed to pass slowly: Spencer, trying to block Pete, pushed him away energetically. The knife which cut through Spencer's carotid artery, the blood and body of the man who collapsed, then the scream of Deanna, the hand he had brought to his throat trembling violently, but it was nothing compared to the gurgling he launched when he choked on his own blood... In desperation, you knelt down as you tried to get the picture out of your head immediately. Your heart beat wildly in your ears and your breath almost stopped in your throat.

"Spencer, stay here, please stay here...", Deanna whispered, pushing fabric to his neck, and you walked away, letting yourself fall against the banister, while Pete's screams came to you, faint and muffled, saying: "He was it! It is his fault!"

With the tears clouded, you saw that Abraham held him still, his face pressed against the ground. You saw Deanna looking for Rick's gaze as if it were a lifeline. His Colt Python revolver Rick held in his hands was aimed at Pete.

"Rick?", murmured the Alexandria leader and it was a second of silence before the woman spoke again. "Do it!", she said and instinctively looked elsewhere. Shortly thereafter, the deafening sound of the gun sounded.
You closed your eyes, but heard a voice in the midst of the runaway situation and tried to orient yourself helplessly. Although upset, you managed to look up at the man who had just spoken. At first you saw him blurry, but recognized him a short time later. His name formed on your lips and came out in an inaudible whisper.

Daryl Dixon...

You did not understand how, but Daryl seemed to hear your murmur, for soon after his gaze was fixed on yours, his expression changed as if he had just seen a ghost. Probably as shocked as you was, you really looked like a ghost. Your tears did not stop running as you watched out of the corner of your eye as Jessie helped Deanna stand up and someone had pulled Spencer's body out of the pool of blood he had created...

You had done everything wrong: It wasn't good. It was all for nothing. It had been fucked up, as Daryl had predicted.

You looked up just in time to see Daryl kneeling in front of you.

"Y/N!", he shouted. You just had to look at his face to feel a little better and nodded, so you started to lift your hands and rub your cheeks to dry them, but with a quick gesture, Daryl grabbed your wrists and stopped you. "C'mon, get up.", he challenged you, stepping aside and laying a hand on your back, while getting back on your feet was like being immersed in reality. The indistinct voice had just faded: Many of the residents were gone, surely Rick had been ordered to bring everyone back to their own home, as well as the two corpses, maybe it was Abraham who put them aside and Carol had stayed by the fire. Deanna, who was sitting on the ground, facing her son's blood was staring now into the void. Daryl turned to Rick: "The hell happened?"

But you did not hear the answer, because you went to Deanna and leaned next to her. "Deanna..."

"I did everything wrong...", she murmured, not looking at you. Actually, you were not even sure she was talking to you. You sighed with concern, you understood what she was referring to, what she was doing: If she stopped Pete first Spencer would have stayed alive. Then you got up and walked away, you just wanted to go home, take a shower, and try to sleep all day. After you went away from Deanna's yard, you heard footsteps behind you: You turned in shock to calm down immediately when you realized it was Daryl, and you stopped in the middle of the road and watched him as he reached you.

"Hey.", you said as he stopped in front of you. "Did Rick give you an order?"

He hesitated for a moment, heaving the crossbow on his right shoulder. "No."

You remained silent, watching him confused, waiting for him to add something. He looked down and you wanted to say something as Daryl looked up at you again.

"Yer alright?", he asked softly.

He wanted to make sure you were fine. As soon as you noticed it, your eyes filled with tears as a warm feeling spread through your chest. You tried to loosen the knot in my throat. "Could be better.", you admitted.

He nodded and studied you for a few moments. The blue eyes frightened you for some reason, so you looked at the ground. You did not want to use Daryl again as a Wailing Wall or to leave out bad moods, for everything that had happened. The wind moved beside you and you realized that Daryl had overtaken you and left. "Where are you going?", you asked uncertainly.

He stopped and answered without looking back. "Let's go home.", he said, hiding his expression.

A calming feeling like the one you had before reached every nerve in your body. You were annoyed and he was there, with you, to be near you. Without the need to ask him. Your eyes moistened again, but this time not because of sadness. But because of relief. Daryl made sure you were at his side before he went on silently. Your heart started beating faster when he suddenly took your hand. You felt the shaking, but did not withdraw. His hand was warm, rough but soft... As if by implication, you went to your house and reached it after a few minutes. At the door of the house, when you opened it, you saw him questioningly in his eyes: He followed you inside without letting go of your hand. He closed the door, led you into the dark living room, and invited you to sit on the sofa. Then he left your hand to put the crossbow down and against the table. Daryl gave you a sidelong glance and you sat in silence for a few moments in the lamp light of the living room.

"Yer feelin' better? Compared to 'fore, I mean.", he suddenly asked, surprising you. It was the second time today that he asked you.

"More or less, I just had to get away from all that shit, why are you asking?", you asked cautiously.

He shrugged indifferently. "Don' know..."

"What do you think?"

Daryl gave you an indecipherable look and then looked away immediately. "Nothin', forget it."

You looked at him and frowned with a half smile. "You know, I think I understand, I'm quieter than usual. But at least I'm with you." He turned back to you, so you continued: "Well, the thing is, I don't want to use you as a Wailing Wall, as I usually do...", you said.

"Ya' talk 'til I get tired, so I can always preten' to listen.", he answered in a false tone.

"Why don't you do it then?", you joked. Then you looked down and played with a thread that had escaped from the seams of your shirt. "I don't know what to say anyway, I just have such a mess in my head... I'm pissed off and disappointed, I'm disappointed with the situation, I was convinced that today's meeting could solve everything, instead it ended it with two deaths."

"Certain situations can only degenerate.", Daryl answered.

"Yes, but... I have never considered this scenario, I haven't realized that you always have to be prepared for the worst yet.", you murmured, clutching your arms. "Last night, when I told you it was alright, I believed it, there was no other alternative for me."

"Well, 's yer way of hopin'."

"I start to think that it's not so positive to think that way, every time I collide with reality, it's like a punch in the stomach, maybe I'm not optimistic, just stupid."

"Bullshit.", Daryl snorted.

He was always so encouraging and confronting you, though he liked to play the role of a rude and indifferent person. You looked down at his hand and squeezed it, leaning back and leaning against his warm body.

"Thanks, Daryl.", you whispered in a broken voice, but your heart was full of relief.

What surprised you was that he did not stiffen when you leaned against him: The grip on your hand increased for a second and he put his cheek against your neck, saying nothing. His warmth surrounded you and made you feel safe. Sure it would not have been necessary to specifically ask him to stay. Not that night. So you remained silent for a while; After not knowing how long, a question came to your mind.

"With who did you come from?"

At first you thought Daryl had fallen asleep, because it took him a moment to answer. "His name 's Morgan, he's longtime friend of Rick, I mean, he's the first person Rick met in this damn fucked up world."

"How did you find him?"

"Met in the woods a few miles from 'ere. He showed a map with the name Rick Grimes written on it, 'nd Abraham left a message for him 'fore he left, ya' remember the story?"

"Yes..."

In fact, it was very difficult to focus on anything other than the naturalness with which you could speak with clasped hands.

"Don' know how, but he managed to find us."

"We can say that he was in the right place at the right time..."

"Nicholas will bury Spencer tomorrow.", he informed you and you sighed. There were too many funerals at this time, for your liking. "And Pete?"

"Rick will burn him outside the walls."

You stiffened and your thoughts immediately went to his sons Ron and Sam. You imagined how they needed to feel when they saw the body of their father, who was rejected by the entire community.

Daryl looked sideways at you. "What?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "On the one hand, I understand it after all that Pete did, he destroyed his family and Deanna's, but I think of his kids, especially Ron."

"Pete 's a piece of shit, I think 's kids know it too."

"Of course, but he's dead, now he can't hurt anyone anymore, and I think it's right that those who stay have a place to cry for those who have lost them."

You don't know if you just imagined it, but you felt Daryl's grip on your hand tighten. He remained silent, probably to give you time to respect your feelings. There was not much he could say or do to comfort you. At some point you yawned aloud and Daryl left your hand to encircle your shoulders with one arm as you stretched your legs out on the couch. You felt him relax: In tacit agreement you decided to stay there for the night. You reached out an arm to grab the blanket you had on the back of the sofa. In the silence of Daryl's breath, you let the fatigue overwhelm you and disappeared into the unconsciousness of sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself on the couch in a fetal position. You sat up and rubbed your eyes whereupon you dragged yourself into the bathroom. Shortly after, your way led you into the kitchen. As you ate one of Carol's cookies, you noticed yourself looking at the hand Daryl had held so long last night. Did he regret having come so close to you? You tried not to think about it and not ask too many questions. Then you decided to take a shower, brush your teeth, and then went upstairs to put on clean clothes. You then wanted to go to Maggie and then to the rest of your family to see how the situation was in general. But suddenly you heard a knock on the door.
When you opened it, you found Daryl standing in front of you.

"Good mornin', can I come in?", he began, pointing with a nod to the corridor.

You smiled and were pleasantly surprised. "Good morning, did you come to get your crossbow?", you asked as you let him in. When he reached the living room, you noticed that he was carrying a backpack. You tried to suppress your curiosity when you saw him standing in the middle of the room.

"I thought you were with the others, I was just leaving.", you informed him. He looked at you for a few moments, then turned and walked into the kitchen and laid his backpack on the table. You followed him perplexed. At this point, you could not help yourself anymore.

"Daryl, what's that?", you asked, looking at him from the other side of the table as he opened it.

"Went to Deanna this mornin'.", he said, not looking at you as he held out his open backpack. You stopped and for a moment it seemed like you could not breathe.

The backpack contained various objects. With your trembling hand, you took out CDs at first and put them on the table. Next, you pulled out a rather heavy block and opened it. They were full of notes and sketches of architectural elements. Then you reached the ground. It was a picture made by Aaron, who portrayed you and Aiden and you recognized the recruiter's kitchen. You wiped your cheeks with your other hand and looked at Daryl.

"That's all I could find.", he said quietly and fled before your eyes. He put his hand to his belt, which held a holster with a pistol. "Was his, I thought ya' might want to keep it."

When he handed it to you, you picked it up and looked at it. "Olivia allowed me to take it, so...", he said and stopped immediately. He snorted and put his hands in his pockets. "Well, ya' understan', it's yers now, Deanna doesn' want to keep it."

You stared at him speechless. For the first time you had nothing to say: It was all too much. Daryl went to Deanna's house. He had collected some items from Aiden. You could not say anything to express the deep gratitude you felt for Daryl at the time. For everything he had done for you. You heart would probably overflow because all these emotions threatened to overwhelm you. The knot that formed in your throat was oppressive, and you realized that you could not speak: You could not put it off any longer or to pretend, that you felt nothing for Daryl. Not after what he had done for you in those last few hours. For once, you would not have needed words, they would have been useless and reductive. You tried to control your breathing as you slowly put the gun on the table. Your eyes met his and from that moment you did not leave them. Not even while walking around the table with the same slowness to stop in front of him. His face was not far from you. There was only Daryl and you realized: There was always only Daryl Dixon. And you knew that he could understand it from the resolve, mixed with the desire, by how you looked at him. With an unnerving slowness, you began to bring your face closer to him. You immediately sensed that his breathing had become irregular, just like yours.

"Y/N...", he protested weakly, his voice low and hoarse, trying to escape and moving his face away from you as you approached him, but you did not allow it as you stood on tiptoe and with a jerk you grabbed the collar of his shirt and approached him abruptly as your lips collided. Stunned by the impulse of that gesture, it took you a few seconds to understand that you were kissing Daryl. At first, he resisted and grabbed both arms, probably to escape from himself, but he didn't: After a few seconds, you felt him relax, or perhaps resignedly, and took a deep breath. He leaned forward and overwhelmed you, dropping his hands to your hips as he rested his forehead on yours. You looked at each other closer than ever before: The intensity with which he looked at you could have made you break down if you hadn't clung to his body. And you did not understand what he read in your eyes, if that was the moment when he completely committed himself to what you both felt. All you could do was to feel his hand resting on now on your cheek, holding your hip with the other arm to keep you close. As if you were a fragile object that he should handle with care.

And yet you have never felt as strong as before in his arms...








~THE END~