As soon as you opened your eyes the next morning, you had the most painful headache you had ever felt before and after the apocalypse began. It was as though you had tightened your temples with a steel handle while an invisible weight was bearing down on your head, making the situation even worse. You suddenly closed your eyes, won by the morning light that flooded your living room and felt very sore because you slept on the couch. When you realized it, you tried to remember why you were there and not in your bed. With a little effort, you put every detail in its place, in the confused and complicated tangle of your thoughts. A feeling of embarrassment hit your stomach a second before the memory of the previous evening came into the spotlight of your consciousness. You do not quite remember the details, the colors or the exact words, but in general yes... Maybe the kiss of Aiden had a big impact on your psyche. Almost as much as the pointless speeches you used to soothe Daryl... A creeping sense of embarrassment intruded on every inch of your body, causing you to curl up and hide your face under the pillow. You took a deep breath and could not believe that you had really fucked it up like that. You took a deep breath and tried to calm down and arm yourself with the necessary courage to get out of this dilemma and finally get up from this damn sofa. So you sat up rather slowly to avoid nausea or dizziness, get rid of the blanket and stretch a little. You were upset, dazed and exhausted: A wreck... Not to mention how parched your mouth felt. You had to drink water and take a shower as soon as possible to recover... Out of nowhere you were impressed by the memory of Daryl beside you as he held your hand to satisfy your mood in your drunken state of having him there. You looked around and checked if he was still here or not: No. You were alone in this living room and you breathed in relief: You couldn't confront him or even look him in the eye after the bad figure you had made that night. At least not right away... You weren't even ready to meet Michonne or Aiden. Maybe, if only for today, you'd better lock yourself in your house. All of a sudden you realized that it was Monday and for a moment you panicked, because you would have been late for your job as a sentry and then, in a very bad shape, but luckily you remembered that you had no work today. And you wondered if Michonne would work today... You would have avoided seeing everyone during the day, but how could you have refused your family's invitation to have dinner with them that night? How could you justify yourself? You should have discussed these situations with her as soon as possible, but you were still angry and remembered the scene of Spencer, who had urged you to yell at him all over Alexandria, and of course in front of your family, and only because of Daryl Dixon. Yes... It would have been a good idea to barricade yourself at home and never leave it again... Finally, you got up with tremendous effort and hauled yourself up the stairs, then locked yourself in the bathroom to take a shower. The warm water on your skin regenerated and stretched your nerves, causing you to overcome the headaches and heaviness you felt on your eyelids. You went out clean and fragrant from the shower, wrapped your body in the bathrobe and dried your hair. You immediately felt better after the shower. Only in your underwear did you finally go to the bedroom and search the closet for the most comfortable sweatshirt you had and a pair of black boots. Since it was still early in the morning you decided to sleep a few more hours: You took the pillow that you had lying in bed, put it on the sofa, covered you with a thin blanket and closed your eyes. After a while, you collapsed, half awake, just about to fall asleep when you heard a knock on the door. You rubbed your eyes, snorted, straightened, dragged yourself across the living room, thinking it could be Michonne, Daryl or Aiden. In all three cases, you would not have been happy to open the door.

"Who's there?", you asked nervously, approaching the entrance.

"It's me, Aaron!"

You sighed in relief, turned the key and opened your friend.

"Wow, Y/N, you look a lot better than yesterday.", he said as he looked at you.

"What are you doing here?", you asked as you both reached the living room.

"I came to see if you're alright, I lost track of you last night after... Well, you know..."

You smiled at him, grateful for his concern. "It's better that way, I probably would have just made more shit...", you sighed, throwing yourself on the couch, making room for him and Aaron sat down next to you with a perplexed expression.

"What exactly happened, do you want to talk about it?"

Yes. You wanted to tell a friend, the only one you've never had any misunderstandings with except for when he saved you and you held a gun to his head: Aaron had become like a brother to you, just like Rick. You sank down between the pillows on the sofa, pressed your knees to your chest and began to talk. Aaron listened to you wordlessly as you continued to speak, and from time to time blushing in speech and stumbling over your own words. When you finished you waited without looking at him for a comment from your friend.

"I suspected that Aiden wanted to try something about Daryl.", he finally said and a lawsuit escaped you.

"I've had of this talk already enough."

"Hey, we're not arguing!", he defended himself, referring to Michonne.

"I know, but it's useless talk."

"You are really adorable when you deny certain things.", he said, running his hand through his hair.

"There's nothing to deny!", you blurted out.

"Aiden does not have a crush on me!", he squeaked, imitating you and your tone. "And a few days later: Aiden kissed me!", he added with sarcastic gestures that still made you smile easily. "I wonder what your - 'I feel nothing for Daryl' - heart will do!", he said mischievously.

"You are really unbearable, Aaron.", you laughed and crossed your arms over your chest.

"That's why I'm your best friend, right?"

"I hope someday I can poke your nose in your own business concerning Eric."

Aaron started to smile again after this sentence. "Everything is perfect with us, but really listen to me: Are you in love or not?"

"Stop!", you yelled in exasperation, grabbed the pillow and slapped it in his face.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry.", he said, hurrying back and trying to defend himself against a second pillow. You sighed, slid your arms along the body and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I screwed it up, and to be honest, I do not even have the guts to get out of this house..."

"You can't avoid Daryl forever."

"Aaron, it's not just about him, you know, right now I can not face Michonne or Aiden in the face, not to mention that when I attacked Spencer, all of Alexandria was present, even in front of Deanna... I ruined everything on several fronts."

"I think you think it's too tragic, and I'd delete Aiden from the list of people you think you screwed up, I'd say Michonne and Daryl come first."

"I must have broken Aiden's heart...", you mumbled.

In response, he raised his eyes. "You did not do anything wrong, Y/N, you can not force yourself to kiss him if you don't want it!"

"Okay... Well... But what am I supposed to do about Michonne instead? I'm still angry with her and I'm not sure she's still willing to talk about it in peace."

"In fact, you do not necessarily have little reason not to be angry. She treated you like a child."

You were silent for a few moments to decide if you should ask him important questions or not. "You also think that... Well, Daryl..."

"Are you just asking me if you're not good enough for him?"

"Yeah... Just because it's me."

Aaron shrugged. "Well, if you have to try out so much with a young man to find out, and the young man in question is Aiden in this case, then the older one of the two men you already trusted and from the beginning somehow liked it for a long time... Then you already know your decision, don't you think?"

You laughed heartily: "You see, you would never hear that from Daryl, especially if he has the crossbow at hand."

"He can kill me with his bare hands, too.", he said, trembling briefly and making you laugh again.

"Come on, he's not that bad!", you yelled and nudged him. "He may be a bit rough, okay, but he would never hurt you."

"Look! Do you see? How much you defend the man of your dreams!", he nudged you with mock dreamy language and pinched your side. "And over time, Michonne will understand that, you're younger than her, and you're very close friends as it's normal to be worried about.", he added, ignoring your grim look.

"I just wish she had understood in prison even then that I'm not a little girl just because I had a hard time fighting and killing in the beginning, now they all need to see how strong I've become, I want them and all of my group to respect my connection with Daryl, I do not understand why Michonne is so worried..."

"Why are you so sure?", Aaron asked curiously.

"Because Daryl is himself... I... I was not created for this kind of life in the beginning, and to be honest... He needs a woman as strong as he is who fights by his side and not one who must be protected.", you explained.

"Do I have to remind you that it was up to you to come here? You talk a lot of shit, Y/N...", he said, rolling his eyes.

"It's your credit, Aaron, you drove the car and saved me.", you corrected him. "And that's not the point."

"So, what is it about?", he snapped impatiently. "Explain it to me, or do you really think he has to meet a woman his age, who knows how to kill the living dead with closed eyes and bare hands to fall in love?"

"Somehow...", you whispered, impressed by his words.

"Age is not important, let alone in the midst of an apocalypse, and it does not seem to be a scandalous problem. At least if it were a woman to approach the hundred years, that would be more disturbing.", he said, making you laugh before continuing. "The thing that pisses me off more is that you don't recognize your value and you see yourself as useless since you got yourselves back."

You gave him an eloquent look. "I just imagined my strength, Aaron and that's just Daryl's merit."

"You're a strong girl, Y/N.", he continued, ignoring your comment. "You are stubborn, kind and hope has never left you, even as you said it back then... Don't give up... You didn't give up your family. You did everything you could to haul you seriously hurt, just to survive. And here in the meanwhile, you've never stopped hoping."

"Well, those are not qualities that help to survive.", you mumbled, unconvinced by his arguments.

"You're used to living, you're used to living a life where it's not possible to live when you're in danger, what do you care if you're not an expert like Daryl? You have done more than any of the other inhabitants of Alexandria, from what you have told me."

"I was dead inside when I arrived here, that's what I am! In an emergency situation, Daryl, Maggie, Rick, or anyone else would be forced to bring me under control to protect me! I'm stupid...", you mumbled.

"No, you're not, you're a wonderful, strong woman, Y/N. I'm sure Daryl knows that and that's why he's trying to get away from you."

You looked at him and gave him a perplexed expression that made your friend laugh.

"In my opinion, this man has more paranoia than you had in the beginning.", he joked. "I think he cares more about you than you think, why else would he have to wait outside your house, if you feel that you have such a strong bond with him, you can not think that it's just one-sided."

No... He should stop talking... You could not allow Aaron to leave certain doubts, certain illusions in your head. For Daryl you were a family member like Rick, Michonne, Carol, Glenn, Maggie or Carl. He protected and treated you the way he would with any other person in your family. You could not even let the smallest part of you believe that Daryl's gestures were the result of a stronger feeling. You needed to know what you felt without asking for anything from him. According to him, he started to believe that there are always good people in this world despite everything, and that was enough to make you happy.

"He and I are part of the same family, Aaron, that's all, don't fool me by making me misunderstand certain gestures, please...", you whispered wearily.

"I did not mean to deceive you, Y/N, sorry...", he murmured, looking worried. You smiled and shook your head. "No, do not apologize, I appreciate everything you said, really, thank you."

"But really, I think you should ask him if he can teach you how to get out of there!", he suddenly suggested cheerfully and tried to mislead the subject, whereupon you snorted. So of course you should have the courage to talk to him but then you do not know how long it would take. Aaron stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned his head against the back of the sofa.

"Well, you could come to dinner tonight, for example, and make peace with Michonne, too."

At the thought, you felt your stomach spinning. "I... I do not think I'm ready.", you replied, turning to face him. "Please, Aaron...", you implored him.

"Y/N...", he tried to oppose you. "Just for tonight, okay?"

"Don't you know some will be on a mission tomorrow, Daryl included.", you said, stiffening instantly: If something would happen to one of them and your last memory was a tense meal, you would have had to repent forever. "They'll be back soon and we'll all be together and I'll finally apologize, I swear, but this evening... I just can't do it.", you blurted, raising your knees to your chest and put your forehead on it, while Aaron looked at you reproachfully.

"Okay, Y/N, it's okay, all I know is that it will be a bit longer before we get back, so Daryl and me."

"I know.", you whispered, looking down at the floor.

"And you do not want to see him again before he leaves?", Aaron asked and you shrugged.

"Maybe it would be better that if I didn't talk to him anymore. I would release him a burden."

Your friend grunted to express his disagreement. "You really are impossible!"

You laughed and smiled at him. "Just like Daryl.", you answered and Aaron looked at you mischievously.

"Then you have been made for each other."

You hit him again with a pillow and used all the strength you had left. "Stop saying that!"

When Aaron left later and you finally managed to convince yourself to go outside, you closed the door, leaned back and sighed in relief. You wanted to be alone for a while and still had a headache. The day continued quietly when you finally met Aaron again at the gates of Alexandria and he wanted to talk to you again.

"Nothing happened today, Y/N.", he assured you by the guards.

"I know, but it's still embarrassing.", you mumbled, your eyes falling on a book in his hands.

"What's that brick?", you asked him, smiling and pointing to the book under your nose.

"It's Denise's manual.", he informed you. You knew her from the beginning... Denise was a survivor who arrived in Alexandria just before the Apocalypse; She studied medicine at the university before the dead began to walk again. The day, apart from your renewed conversation, went quiet. The embarrassment and fear of seeing your family again, after what had happened the night before, had not left you yet: You ran home, hoping that you could not invent an excuse for him and Eric to have dinner. Shortly afterwards you lay down on the sofa and tried to imagine how your family would comment on your absence at dinner. Maybe you only made the situation worse... You had been around the walls all the time to talk to Michonne, but Daryl would have left the next morning and you did not even know what time it was. You definitely had to apologize and clarify everything with him before they're leaving. So you tried to remember your memory to see if Aaron usually told you what time he was recruiting. Usually, Alexandria's day-to-day life started around nine in the morning and it was likely that Aaron was going to the gates at this hour. You should have asked Aaron and, embarrassing as it was, it was the only way to know when you could reach Daryl before he left. So you put on your jacket and went to the house of your friends. Aaron, who refused to investigate too much, informed you that they would leave Alexandria at nine o'clock the next morning as expected, and be away for a few weeks. You thanked the recruiter and had to get up in time. Before you fell asleep, you tormented yourself by thinking of what you could say, the embarrassment you felt and how Daryl would respond, how he would treat you, and whether he was mad at you for your cowardice. In the morning, you awoke with a tight knot in your stomach and the fear that was evident on your trembling hands. You got dressed, had breakfast, and went to the gates to wait to meet Daryl before going on a mission with Aaron. When the two finally arrived the words stuck in your throat. Daryl looked startled, so you walked up to him and you both stopped a few feet apart and looked at each other. Leaving you alone, Aaron chatted about opening the gates and preparing the cars he'd parked in front of the lookout tower the night before. Daryl had his crossbow on his shoulder and looked at you with unfathomable eyes, the neutral expression behind which he hid everything he felt. You did not know what to say, but you knew that he was waiting for you to speak first; At the thought, your stomach twisted and you looked uncomfortably down.

"So... You're going to recruit today..."

"Yes.", he replied indifferently. He seemed to be waiting and you knew exactly for what: He was waiting for you to say something sensible, since it was clear to him that you were waiting for him and that there was a reason. You could not open your mouth because you were scared. Afraid that everything you said would be stupid. You tried to speak, but you could not get another sound out of your mouth; You two stayed quiet for a few minutes and throughout the time you prayed that an abyss would open under your feet and devour you once and for all. Then he overtook you and walked toward the car with the same illegible expression.

"Daryl!", you tried to stop him, turned in his direction and you reached him at the border of the gate.

"We're on road for a maximum of two weeks.", he said out of the blue as he got into the car. He surprised you: Was it a clumsy attempt to calm you down?

"I know.", you said. "I... I wanted to apologize for the last night.", you mumbled, encouraged by his unspoken reassurance.

"Yer jus' causin' trouble!", he snapped, raising his eyes to the sky. He switched on the engine, which animated the car with his sound and caught your attention. When you looked back at Daryl, you noticed that his lips, barely visible, had gone to a smile and you smiled back as you recognized this situation.

"Be careful.", you said cautiously, placing a hand on his outstretched arm, barely brushing the fabric of his shirt and releasing it. You bitterly regretted that you had wasted the day before, far from him, especially because you did not even have the courage to embrace him and welcome him as you wished. Daryl said nothing more. He answered with a nod and with that half smile, his eyes tied to yours. There was no other need: His blue eyes were enough to understand that everything was alright between you two and your heart was filled with serenity. You looked at each other briefly, until he and Aaron drove onto the road that led away from Alexandria. You also greeted your friend with one hand and watched them until they finally disappeared in your view. You sighed deeply, ready for the exhausting wait that separated you from Daryl's return...

As you walked back to my house, Michonne crossed the street. Her expression was serious but peaceful, and she probably studied you to see if she could talk to you or not; The tension between you had eased considerably, but perhaps it was not the best place to clear everything, not there, in the middle of the streets of the community. Without speaking, you followed her. You both sat down on the white bench under the porch of your family's house, which wavered softly and out of nowhere a question came to your mind.

"Michonne, why don't you ask Deanna to give you a house just for you, Rick, Carl and Judith?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"We could actually, I didn't think about it, but I think Rick feels safer if we all stay together for the first few weeks."

"Right.", you agreed and nodded. Then the silence fell between you.

"Daryl is gone?", Michonne asked quietly after a while and you nodded with a smile.

"Are you worried?", she asked again.

"I try not to worry, I trust his skills and I know they will come back."

She smiled sadly at you, but with understanding. "Glenn left, too, but they'll be back, if all goes well.", she murmured with a frown.

"Everything will be fine.", you said with conviction. Michonne looked up at you and gave you a smile, which disappeared shortly thereafter.

"Look, Y/N, because of the party lately..."

"That doesn't matter anymore.", you interrupted.

"No, listen to me.", she insisted and touched your arm.

"I'm sorry, I wanted you to know, I did not really want to play the role of the fearful good friend, but in the end it just got worse..."

"I was wrong too, and I can not blame you for not looking for me and not for the rest, I'm sorry too..."

"No, you were right, I tried to stay away from the person who took care of you and protected you, excuse me, Y/N, even if I didn't look for you, I'm a terrible friend."

"Please don't say that again!", you threatened, sinking your face in her shoulder.

"Just promise me you're careful not to hurt you, Y/N, it was terrible when Daryl came back without you...", Michonne whispered, pulling you closer. You wondered how much these words should cost her, but you hoped that over time she would understand and accept your feelings. "Don't worry, Daryl can never hurt me the way you think."

After this sentence, Michonne gave you a puzzled look. "Why?", she asked uncertainly.

"He... I don't think he'll ever see me the way I see him."

Michonne gave the impression of thinking about it for a moment. "Well, you can not know that, Daryl is very good at hiding what he feels."

You smiled as you realized that in this aspect Daryl was an open book for all. "And yet, in those days we spent together it was different... I've never seen him like this before...", you thought aloud.

"Tell me something that has made you change your mind about him.", teased Michonne, but could not hide a hint of concern that was so like yours and the time with Daryl rolled through your mind again. "It was difficult at first, you know how much he hated me in the beginning...", you said. "Daryl didn't want to look for you a short time later, he didn't want to do anything, he thought you were all dead... I felt uncomfortable and often told myself I'd rather have fled with someone other than him. I could not do it on my own, but in the end we quarreled and almost collapsed, confessing that he blamed himself for what The Governor did to the prison, as well as losing Judith, all of you..."

With the corner of your eye you saw Michonne wince, but continued. As you spoke, you saw everything again, as if you were a spectator of what Daryl and you had experienced together.

"He's opened to me, do you understand? I've heard what he felt, albeit minimal, like an echo, but I've heard it."

Michonne was silent with surprise. It also seemed incredible to you; As if you were not talking about Daryl Dixon, but about a very different person.

"I have never felt so close to anyone yet...", you continued. "The next day, he also taught me to follow in the footsteps to hunt, we've become a team and he...", you stopped, overwhelmed by a mixture of embarrassment and another indescribable feeling as you approached his eyes that seemed so intense and eloquent. The only time you had really been able to understand what he was thinking.

"He?", Michonne urged you.

"He made it clear to me that thanks to me he starts to believe that there are still good people, I saw hope in him." Michonne studied you for a few moments without saying anything.

"How could it be otherwise?"

"What do you mean?"

"Even the toughest man would melt because of your eyes and smile.", she replied and you looked in a different direction. "Stop it, Michonne."

"But it's true!", she called and lovingly embraced your shoulders with one arm.

"Too bad it did not work with the enemies I met on the street.", you reminded her.

"They were bad people.", she pointed out. "Anyway, now I understand you a little more."

You turned to her. "Really?", you answered, almost relieved. She smiled at your enthusiasm and nodded. "You know, Y/N, I'm not sure why you're so scared about the idea that you feel those feelings for him.", she said, smiling sadly at you.

"You do not have to worry about me."

"What if it's true?", she asked quietly and you quickly noticed how your cheeks blushed, but Michonne went on. "If Daryl has the same feelings for you?"

You looked at her and tried to find out what you really thought. "What would you do?", you asked, turning her to the question she wanted to ask you. She looked at you seriously for a few moments, then relaxed and nodded in a smile.

"You're young, Y/N.", she said, and you were ready to fight back when she spoke again.

"You're young, but you're not a kid, what you've been through has made you stronger and we've all seen it, I trust you and your common sense.", she concluded, as the beating of your heart echoed in your ears.

"You know, Y/N, sometimes I think of everything we've lost and it's so hard to accept that I almost feel like I miss a lot, but then I'm reminded of Rick, and I think that if Daryl does the same for you and you represent it to him as well, I can't and don't want to hinder you in any way, but I'll keep an eye on him anyway, okay?"

"Thanks...", you interrupted, hugging her as you felt your eyes wet, and Michonne, after a few seconds of surprise, returned the hug and held you tight in her arms. The vain fear of thinking had paralyzed you... Michonne's words meant a lot to you and knowing that she accepted my feelings for Daryl filled your heart with a calming warmth.

"Michonne, I think you make me cry.", you joked, wiping away a tear that was trying to escape your eyes. She burst out laughing and gave you one last hug before she let you go. You both sat on the porch to just talk. No matter about what. This conversation meant a lot to you, as well as the certainty to finally soothe your soul...