It was still impossible for you to avoid thinking of Joe and the Claimers and everything you’ve been through. You started to remember what Aaron said. “Deanna Monroe is in charge of assigning the roles of those who live here, and she can find the most suitable job simply by talking, asking everyone about their own story.”, Aaron continued, not hiding his admiration and respect for the woman. 

Aaron took you to her, and as soon as you entered her house, you remembered how you looked around. You looked at her, thinking back to the words of admiration that Aaron had reserved for her: Deanna Monroe immediately gave the impression of being a woman of a reassuring face and a determined attitude. 

“My family…” You hesitated for a moment, feeling a knot in your throat. “They taught me to survive out there.”, you cut short. You did not want to think back to when you were all still together, all alive. And Daryl…

“Where are they? How many were you?" 

You felt your eyes swell with tears and looked away, biting your lip. "I think they’re still in Georgia… We settled in a prison and, being a well-protected place, we began to welcome other survivors. We went looking for them, a bit like Aaron and Eric do. Then the prison was destroyed and from there we dispersed. Then I was with Daryl… Now I don’t know how many are still alive." 

"Has the prison been destroyed?”

“The madness of one man can cause enormous damage.”, you replied. "We were like going to war with another community, led by a murderer who called himself the Governor. He’s the one who started it all, he’s the one who showed up at the prison gates and destroyed them.“, you said, still hearing the sound of explosions, shouts and gunshots in your ears; feeling the same fear of that time shaking your limbs. 

"And to save you, you were forced to flee with Daryl? But you couldn’t do it together til the end?”, Deanna concluded, her eyes full of compassion. 

“Yes.”, you murmured. 

“I see. I’m very sorry for what you’ve been through.”, she said sincerely.

“As far as the rest of your group is concerned, if we were sure that they were closer, we could go look for them." Your gaze flickered over Deanna’s face, hopeful. 

"But, right now, we can’t make such a long journey. One day, perhaps, we will be able to.”, she added immediately, attentive to your reaction. You stiffened, disappointed. "It is already too late.“, you said flatly.

"Even Eric and Aaron are not sure of finding people to save, when they leave Alexandria.”, you said. "Aaron already risked his life to save me from the herd of Walkers, and he didn’t knew if I was dangerous or not.“ 

"Eric and Aaron have never gone that far. It’s a long and risky journey, you have to think well of a decision like that, I know.”, Deanna said, trying to make you think. "Take your time to settle here, Y/N. If they survived until now, they will be able to continue doing so. Then, when the time is right, we will mobilize to go and look for them.“, she said, taking a look at you with a face that tried to convey all the possible security, her lips folded into a smile. You looked at her for a moment, not knowing what to say. She could tell the truth, as a lie could tell, but in both cases you would have discovered it only by staying there and integrating yourself more and more into the community. You could have refused the offer and could go back out there in that crazy world; or you could wait and try, in time, to convince Deanna or Aaron to help me, all while remaining safe and leading a kinda normal life. You would have had more chances of staying alive to find them if you remained safe behind the walls of Alexandria, you knew it. 

And Deanna was right: Aaron and Eric would have done it anyway. You trusted them, their skills, their strength, their caring and love for each other.

"Okay.”, you said, exhaling noisily and resting your back against the back of the sofa. "I will stay here, but I will try not to forget my real family.“, you warned her, quietly but firmly.  Deanna continued to keep her eyes tied to yours, smiling happily. You limited yourself to smile in response, without finding anything to say. Inside of you, you were hoping that Aaron would agree. 

Deanna understood what made you remember your old life, and didn’t ask you any more questions. She thanked you for the time you had dedicated to her again. Outside Aaron was waiting for you like the first time. Then his look became tender and he approached you, resting a hand on your shoulder. "I can’t even imagine what you have seen out there. I understand that you disorient this reality and you find it hard to relax, but now you can. You’re safe, Y/N, really. Here it is not about surviving, it is about living. And you have the complete right.”

His voice was so sweet, sincere and reassuring that the tears came to your eyes without you being able to do anything about it. On one hand you still seemed to escape from the problems and from the reality of the world outside those walls, on the other you finally saw a new beginning after months and months of torture and suffering. If only the others had been there with you… Maggie, Glenn, Carl, Judith, Rick, Michonne, Bob, Sasha, Tyreese, Carol, Beth. And Daryl… Their faces began to show up in your mind and your heart tightened painful. 

“I would like my family to start living again, Aaron.”, you murmured, your voice sounding broken. He came close to you, involving you in a sort of clumsy hug. "We’ll take care of that too, Y/N. I promise you.“