I wonder...
Sometimes i wonder if i made up the good part of the relationship thinking there was good in it despite the odds.. If i was delusional to think there was any good in it.. You made it seems so miserable that i started questioning if i was making it up.. Were you miserable really because of my anger, my expectations, my sexual untamed needs.m. Or were you miserable because you were dating a woman.. A being you should not be with.. A being your family will never accept you with.. A being so utterly different.. Having to lie to your parents.. Having to hide in public.. Having to lead a double life.. Being with someone you thought constantly there was no future with.. Being depressed about it & about the things i wanted from you which you were struggling with... I was not understanding & not patient.. Angry bird that i was.. Insecurity and jealousy was around.. Still being miserable was it always about me, about my flaws.. Or being with someone you will never be able to fight for..
2019-03-16 14:32:15
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