I wonder...

Ruqayyah Jkh

Sometimes i wonder if i made up the good part of the relationship thinking there was good in it despite the odds.. If i was delusional to think there was any good in it.. You made it seems so miserable that i started questioning if i was making it up.. Were you miserable really because of my anger, my expectations, my sexual untamed needs.m. Or were you miserable because you were dating a woman.. A being you should not be with.. A being your family will never accept you with.. A being so utterly different.. Having to lie to your parents.. Having to hide in public.. Having to lead a double life.. Being with someone you thought constantly there was no future with.. Being depressed about it & about the things i wanted from you which you were struggling with... I was not understanding & not patient.. Angry bird that i was.. Insecurity and jealousy was around.. Still being miserable was it always about me, about my flaws.. Or being with someone you will never be able to fight for..

2019-03-16 14:32:15

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Do you remember... Who is she... Loss... Creature of the night...

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I was alone. I am alone. I will be alone. But why People always lie? I can't hear it Every time! And then They try to come Back. And i Don't understand it. Why?

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I Saw a Dream

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I saw a dream, and there were you, And there was coldness in your eyes. I wonder what a kind of true Made you become as cold as ice. And later I looked back to get a sense This empty glance was hellish call of past. It used to be a high and strong defense Against the world, the pain and me at last. You looked at me, and peering in your soul, I felt so lonely, as something vital died. And that is what I fear most of all - That nothing gentle will remain inside. Inside of you. Inside of me as well. And nothing will be said to farewell.

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