Untitled
maybe I'm trying too much
to be loved
to feel love
wanted by someone
to be just enough
when I know that nothing could compare
to what's above
I can't give someone happiness
I just can't
casual flings is something I can't stand
it's not me
it doesn't change a thing
doesn't bring me anything
honestly I don't know how to feel
how to love anymore
what's the point
no one could compare to his worth
the one who knew my heart enough
surprised me too
that it would hurt this much
made me smile
just because
all it took was a look
from those eyes
I've never seen that look since then
maybe I've been trying to find it
in everyone
in everything
I'm always sad
barely recognize the sound of my own name
I've gone mad
wish I could wake up
have all of this not be real
I always hear
that time fixes all
well when is it time for this to be healed
when can I get up from the fall
wipe off the dirt
bandage up the worst
scars are cool
but they don't wash off
smoking and drinking away the pain
I know it's not going to make me hear his voice again
I just allow it to fuck me up every day
I know he wouldn't want me to be like this
so low and all over the place with emotions
but he's not here
no one's helping me through this shit
it was unexpected
thought I had control of it
moments were born
the memories were perfect
I regret taking them for granted
those times we had
imagining him not here
I just never pictured that
©shantilly
2021-09-19 22:33:32
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