The Fall
(18+)
Maybe I'm trying too much, to be loved, to feel love... Wanted by someone.. To be... Just enough. When I know that nothing could compare to what's above, I can't give someone happiness. I just can't. Casual flings is something I can't stand. It's not me. But it's been the only dance I've danced, Recently, It doesn't change a thing. Doesn't bring me anything. Honestly, I don't know how to feel, How to love anymore. What's the point? No one could compare to his worth. The one who knew my heart enough, Surprised me too, That it would hurt this much. Made me smile, just because. All it took was a look, from those eyes. I've never seen that look since then.... Maybe I've been trying to find, In everyone, In everything, A version of what made me happy. I'm always sad now and cab barely, Recognize the sound of my own name... I've gone mad, I'm scared of me.... Wish I could wake up, Have all of this not be real, I always hear that time fixes all, Well when is it time for this to be healed? When can I get up from the fall? Wipe off the dirt, bandage up the parts that hurt the worst? Scars are cool, yeah, But they don't wash off. Smoking and drinking away the pain, I know it's not going to make me hear his voice again, I just allow it to fuck me up every day, I know he wouldn't want me to be like this, So low, so all over the place, With emotions.... That I can't even explain.... But he's not here, No one's helping me through this shit! It was unexpected, thought I had control of it... I wasn't supposed to feel like this..... Moments were born... Memories perfect, I regret taking them for granted, Every single fucking second.... Those times we had... I'll never let go of 'em! Imagining him not here???? I just never pictured that.... ©shantilly
2022-02-23 11:54:47
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