Daryl raised his head and shook him in the direction of the others. “He is dead.”

Rick put his hands on his hips and looked around sadly. “Okay… then let’s move on.”

“What? Dad, we can not leave him here.” Carl was following his father, who had already left. “We can not slow down anymore, so let’s move on.” Carl snorted, returned to Daryl and shook his head. “Is he really dead?” The man wiped his hands on his shirt. “Yes, and the boat will not start if we can not find spare parts.”

“We could.” The boy looked thoughtfully at another boat, which was also at the dock. It was big enough for everyone, but they couldn’t start it despite the keys.

“It isn’t worth it.” You joined them and looked at the dirty, battered fishing boat. “There will be other boats here.”

“What if we could find a nice ship?”, Carl asked with a smile.

“Then we would have cracked the jackpot.”, you smiled, your eyes half closed and one hand outstretched to protect yourself from the sun. You couldn’t help but think what would happen if Travis and the others had been here instead of Rick’s group. Maybe they could have started the boat again, along with Victor Strand. By the time you had traveled together, he had been the mechanic and captain on board, insisting that everyone learn how to control the basic mechanisms. You hadn’t learned much, but Madison had escaped and Ofelia understood something, too. The others seemed to be doing nothing more than helping to hand over things like the screwdriver and start the engine. “Can you do that anyway?” Daryl stepped out of the shadows with a grin on his face.

“Partially.”, you snorted. “And just because you never laugh, that doesn’t mean nobody else has to help me anyway.” As if in an automatic gesture, you tightened the beige jacket and accelerated your pace to move away from Daryl. His eyes darkened. He checked how many cigarettes were left over from the motel adventure. Only five. But that seemed like the perfect moment to calm the nerves a little. He lit one and held it between his lips a little before pulling. The taste of the smoke was initially sharp, but then left a pleasant aftertaste on the palate. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment for a short time. Although Daryl was a smoker, he was rather that kind of person who does something, even though he knows it’s not good, even though finding cigarettes has become increasingly difficult. Better to light a cigarette anyway than to think of Y/N tying the damn jacket between her fingers. What kind of person would wear something like that? Of course it was not the garment, but what it represented. You touched the jacket as if stroking someone’s cheek, as if you were cuddling in a warm embrace. At the same time you looked daintier when you wore the jacket, and not just because it was a male jacket. Your whole mind seemed to have withdrawn. Something had broken in you, and Daryl was afraid that it was something impossible to rebuild. “Can I?” Carol reached out and Daryl held out cigarette. “Stop it.”

“Thanks.” He looked perplexed. “I didn’t know you were doing that shit too.” Carol shrugged. “It’s never been a bad habit, but sometimes I have to calm my nerves.” She smiled in his direction and then looked back to the rest of the group. With a wave of her hand holding the stub, Carol pointed to Y/N. “You like her.” Daryl gasped, looked at Carol and her sight alone relaxed him. It was Carol. She wouldn’t bother him with something like that. “I don’t know.”, he answered only. “You don’t know or don’t want to believe it?” Daryl didn’t answer. “Do you remember the prison? The first night I asked you to fuck with me.” Maybe she scolded him… But no, he couldn’t believe that she was so upset about him! Why did she bring this story back? This conversation was not suitable for him, he felt uncomfortable. Anything that meant expressing what he felt or even expressing the relationship between two people made him feel uncomfortable. He had always wondered why words were used. The words were overrated. The time and gestures that have taken place over the years have spoken a thousand times more. To hell with the words! “So what?”

“You didn’t say anything, I’m not saying it was bad, I think we’re both not meant to be together in that sense.”, Carol said with a laugh, a sincere, fleeting laugh from a woman who intervened and knows a secret that Daryl doesn’t want to admit. Carol looked for his gaze, but he focused his eyes on something else. She already knew enough about him and clearly realized what was wrong with him. For Carol, Daryl was one of those heavy books, with a complex history, but with big and easily decipherable characters. “So far things went well, as it is.”

“It went well this time, yes, but it does not mean it’s alright all the time.” Finally, Daryl turned and looked at her: “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you like this girl and maybe she likes you too, you should do something about it.”

“I told you, I don’t know if I-…”

“Daryl, don’t talk nonsense, I see it very well that you’re interested, you give her a certain amount of attention, attention that you have to no one else.”The man snorted again. “Do not deny it, you know it’s useless.”, Carol said, snapping her lips while Daryl sat down on the floor. “The point is, there’s never been anything between us because you’ve never done anything about it, you’ve always been left alone, people will hold you a hand, but you have to grab them, you you have to do your part and nothing happens if we do nothing to make it happen.”

“I understand, but nobody gives me anything here,”Daryl said, still looking at Y/N while Carol started talking again.

“So you have to do it, hold out your hand and wait for someone to grab it.” Who knows how many outstretched hands he had ignored in his life, who knows how many passed him without him even noticing. Daryl knew how many times he had reached out to someone to build a relationship. But it was time to reach for a hand if he wanted life to be worth living. “How long should I wait?”

“You have to decide that until you feel it’s worth it.”The man said nothing, but got up and continued along the riverbank. There was nothing to say. Carol was right, he knew that. Not that it was new, she had been right with several things since he knew her. But the Dixon brothers make their own arrangements and need none other than themselves. No bonds, no expectations, no disappointments. But things had changed and it was time to look ahead.

The search had developed towards the evening. The group took a break in a boat suitable for everyone. Apart from the destroyed fishing vessel, you had found a few motorboats, too small and practically useless without fuel, then another workboat with a big hole in the engine room. Since none of them could really fish except you, you all decided that the quickest way to get food was the usual old plunder. You were on the edge of a medium-sized city and there were several places to find food. The tall buildings, one next to the other, the stores lined up like soldiers, the paved streets radiating the suffocating heat. Even you had to surrender to the burning heat and to take off the jacket you had been wearing for a few days. You tied her around your waist and stayed in your top. “We should hurry, we don’t know how many Walkers there are, and we’ll be back in half an hour.”, Rick said to the rest of the group. You all parted, everyone went in a different direction. You made your way to a grocery store Rick had already pointed out. You destroyed the rusty lock, but had to break the glass to open the door and at the same moment you regretted it. The stench was indescribable. The fresh food was bad and bawled there for a long time. The smell made you fall back in disgust, causing you to retreat. You hurried off panting and leaned against a building to catch your breath. You preferred to go to the nearest bar when you noticed a movement nearby. At the end of the street, Daryl moved secretly. You raised an eyebrow and with a slight back pressure released yourself from the wall and crossed the street, looking first to the right and then to the left. Actually stupid… After all, traffic was no longer a problem. It was dark inside the deserted bar and the light of the sun lit the entrance. “Daryl?” You took a few steps into the room. Out of habit, more than for real defense, you took your machete from your belt. “What did you come for?” Sounds from the back of the store stopped you. Suddenly it let out a huge roar, amplified by the silence of the room. When the silence returned, you reached a familiar sound. The sound that brought forth the dead, that line of rage, the growl of a desperate wild beast.

You pulled out your flashlight and pointed it to the floor of the shop. You saw a shelf on the floor and saw the head of a Walker and aimed the beam of light at the rest of his body. The Walker had removed a leg from his body while the bust of the piece of furniture had been crushed and held still. You could see the rotting body moving toward his next victim. A little further away was Daryl… Without much thought you rammed the machete into the head of the Walker. “Are you hurt?”

“Fuck. Just help me, we have to lift this thing.” The man turned his head away from the smell of the dead man beside him. He lifted the piece of furniture as if lifting weights. You flanked him and held the shelf up with considerable effort until Daryl slipped out. His left leg remained immobile. You let go and didn’t care about the noise. As you turned to look at the man, he slowly looked at you with an annoyed grimace on his face. “You didn’t break anything, did you?”

“As if that were the damn case…”

“Let me have a look.” You came closer, but Daryl began to move away. “Come on, I will not hurt you.” Reluctantly, Daryl took off his shoe and sock. In the light of the flashlight he could see your outlines. Daryl paused to observe you for a moment. You fumbled at his ankle, moving his foot and asking him when it hurt him. Slowly you both hobbled out of the store, Daryl holding his shoe and clinging to your other arm. You supported him and made sure there was no danger in the area. You were waiting for the return of the others, who had been luckier with the search for supplies. That night you all ate sardines, cucumbers, drank some drinks, and the next day Rick was ready for another plunder in town. To stay another day would have been a good way for Daryl to recover where Rick agreed. The next morning the man’s ankle was less swollen, but it would have been a bad idea to let him go. “Y/N…” Rick approached you, turned away briefly and lowered his face to his best friend. “Stay here with Daryl, make sure he doesn’t make an effort.”

“Why me?”

“You’re the only one who really cares.”

You snorted. “I don’t think so, what about Carol?”

“I need Carol to come with us, stay here and don’t allow him to leave the camp, it could get worse and it would take twice as long for him to get better, I want to be sure he’s back in tomorrow able to take to the streets.” You wavered, but since Rick gave orders in this group, you nodded. He patted you on the shoulder, as if you were already a good friend he had once met in the bar, and then left with the others. You sighed and glanced at everyone who was with you. Maggie slumbered. Judith played with a train and some dolls that Carl had found and taken to kindergarten. Not far from her sat Daryl looked at her thoughtfully. “Very pleased, I’m the babysitter.” You sat down next to him and smiled widely.

The man rubbed his hands. “I suppose Rick thought one person wasn’t enough to keep an eye on his daughter.”

“No, I didn’t stay here because of her, I’m here for you, he thinks you will not rest if no one is watching you.”, you told Daryl. “What did you do in this bar?” Daryl shot you a quick glance and tried to figure out what kind of mood you were in. He looked at Judith and chewed on his thumbnail. Curious, reluctant, as if he were forcing himself, he put a hand in his pocket and pulled out a portable music player. He handed it to you. “I found this in a house a few days ago, and that-…”he added, rummaging in his pocket and pulling out a CD from a well-known rock band. “And I found some batteries in the bar.” You looked up at him and accepted the gifts with a confused expression on your face, as if you didn’t understand why he gave them to you, or as if you were unfamiliar with those gestures.

“I thought you might like it, y'know… Since you mentioned something like that before.”, Daryl shrugged and minimized the gesture. You looked gloomier than before, and he almost regretted giving you this gift. But you suddenly smiled and looked from the music player to Daryl and back. “I… I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me if you like it.”

You hesitated and stopped in the middle of the gesture, but finally reached out to him, hugged him briefly and kissed him on the cheek. You continued to smile as you moved away, holding the music player in your hands, as if the world was no longer too bad with this little present from Daryl Dixon.