Daryl slipped into his dreams without asking for permission, like a powerful scent that suddenly leaps into his nose. It is impossible to control it, to stop it without stifling it. At first he dreamed of silly things, hunting visions, Walkers, old memories, in which Y/N appeared as an anachronistic intruder, but soon the nature of the dreams changed. In his nocturnal visions, Y/N were kissed and touched. It was never explicit, but Daryl didn’t need a sketch to figure out what they were doing. For some time he had had the pleasant habit of thinking about falling asleep. How would Y/N be presented in this night, in his dreams? With a nice long dress, as beautiful as her face? Or with the underwear she wore at the motel? Maybe with the normal clothes she had on every day. It would have been the best. To undress her body would have been his privilege…

In all honesty Daryl therefore couldn’t say that he wasn’t entirely to blame for his situation with Y/N. If he hadn’t wanted, he would have tried not to think about it. He would take Carol aside and perhaps even out of frustration accept the suggestion she had given him long ago. They would have fucked and maybe he would have stopped having those dreams… Or maybe not. Carol would never have slept with him, he knew that. And besides, he had no intention of taking Y/N out of his dreams. He thought of her before going to sleep, hoping to dream of her. It was his fault that now he couldn’t help but follow her with his eyes, wherever she went, when he was tormented by the desire to touch her, to kiss her, to possess her. When he woke up the next morning, you were gone. Daryl couldn’t help but ignore his aching ankle, get up, and look around the building. The first way led him into the basement of the shop, knowing that the rest of the group was still on the way.

When he got downstairs, Daryl saw a door. A room full of pipes and valves that delivered gas, water and who knows what else in the shop where you all had taken refuge. Daryl took a step forward, leaving the door close behind him. But he was trapped. Because the door opened only from the outside and nobody knew that he was there. So yeah, he was definitely good at ending up in shitty situations… Daryl couldn’t even see anything. The first time he knocked on the door, he tried to find out exactly where he was and searched the room to see if there was anything useful in it. After he had exhausted every idea, he crouched in a corner and began to wait. What else did he have left, except to curse himself for this stupid idea out of fear… He was almost asleep when the door slowly opened.

“Daryl, are you here?”

The man jumped from the ground and threw himself in the direction of the door. A figure had slipped into the room and stood in the door with only one hand holding the door open. Suddenly the person charged Daryl with something that looked like a knife in his hand.

“No no no!” The man ran to the entrance, one hand holding your wrist before you could use the knife, the other holding the door tight. But she was already closed. “Fuck!” Daryl shouted, banging his fist against the door. “Are you crazy?”In the darkness, your voice was shrill. “You’re crazy, did you want to fucking kill me?”

“I thought you were a Walker, we were all looking for you for at least two hours, what are you doing down here in the dark anyway?”

“What we’re going to do together! Waiting for someone to get us out of this shit.” Daryl recognized that he was very close to you, probably closer than he should be. He had pressed you between himself and the door and when it had closed, he had come even closer to you. “What? Are we trapped here?” You struggled, turned and felt for a grip that didn’t exist. You reached out to explore everything around you and realized that you were surrounded on both sides by machines and boxes. You started to sweat easily and your breathing became heavy. “I can’t fucking believe it!”, Daryl shouted as he angrily hit one of the walls. “What do we do now?”

“Nothing, we’re waiting for someone to find us.”

“How long have you been here?” The man shrugged, then realized that it was too dark to see his gestures at all. “Don’t know, one hour, maybe two.”

You sighed and turned to face Daryl, but he stopped you. He stretched out his arms, one hand banging against the door, the other bumping against your shoulder. “Shit… Sorry.” Daryl quickly withdrew his hand. “It’s okay…”

“Don’t move.” Carefully, he gently raised his arms and raised his hands higher. He met your cheeks, went down to your neck and left his hands on your shoulders. Your back pressed against his chest. Daryl seemed to feel a slight shiver on your body. He put his arm in front of you and squeezed you briefly.

“What are you doing?”

“We’ll sit down, don’t know when the others will find us, but if they at least make themselves felt, we’ll hear it.” Daryl exchanged his seat and found himself with his back to the door. He slid down, holding you and pushing you down with him. In those few moments the feeling, when your soft hips were pressed against him, seemed very present. Protecting you was the most natural thing he had done in months. You both sat down on the floor and Daryl carefully released you. “Is it comfortable?”

“Gotta be.” You straightened your legs better in the little room you had. Daryl felt you ass rubbing against him for a moment. It was a fleeting and fast, a moment that was over so quickly, but it was enough to turn him on a little. He cursed himself and his damn genitals as you lay down between his legs and lay there. Luckily, you seemed oblivious, and Daryl forced himself to calm himself. It wouldn’t have been an advantage if you had discovered it. You leaned hesitantly against his chest. The man raised his chin slightly and pushed aside the thick hair that disturbed him a little. “Do you want me to move?”

“Nah, don’t move…”, he sighed against your shoulders. It was as if you were in another world where gestures, words and thoughts no longer mattered. Daryl slid his hands from your arms, but went back to caress your neck and smelled inconspicuously on your hair. “Daryl…”

“Should I stop?”

You swallowed. “I don’t know…” He remained uncertain for a while, his hands still resting on your shoulders. He leaned forward slightly and put his lips to your neck. He wanted to kiss you, but it was a far too unpleasant gesture for him. He confined himself to bringing his face close to yours, and from time to time touching it with his lips. The neck, the cheeks, the jaw. He slid his palms down your entire back until he met the beige jacket you had tied around your waist. Driven a little by instinct, a little inappropriate rage aimed at the jacket, Daryl put his hands forward and began to release the jacket to remove it.

“Wait.”

Your hands blocked him. The way you had held to the old thing, wearing it as your protector, as if it were an emotional chastity belt, irritated him. Immediately he released the jacket, pulled his hands back and dropped them by his sides. At that moment, he would have liked to go out there, go hunting, or kill the living dead, just to forget that embarrassing moment. Everything, instead of staying with you, would have been better right now. You turned as far as you could into this tiny room and groped for his face to find his chest. He wore no vest, just a sleeveless shirt that was slightly open at the front. You could feel the warm skin and hair on his chest. “I need some time.”

“But you don’t know how much you have left…”

“No.”

Daryl was quiet for a while and wanted to think about what he should do. “I’m not famous for my patience, but I can wait, I just want you to tell me the truth.”

You waited silently, knowing in part what he would ask. “Did you have a story together, you and Nick?” You sighed. “We were friends, good friends, he was the best friend I ever had, even with all this mess, we got along, we could support each other, I miss him so much…” You hesitated as if you were afraid that Daryl might get angry. “I know what you want to know. Yes, sometimes we had a thing. We had sex together… Is that going to change anything?”

“We all have a past, I just wanted you to tell me how it is.”

You broke into a nervous laugh. “I was a bit melodramatic, I think.”

“You’ve lost a people you love, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Suddenly the door behind you both opened. Daryl looked at the glare coming from the stairs. He felt your body disappear from his and saw now the person who was standing at the door. It was Carl.

“Carl, you definitely didn’t miss anything or we would have stayed in here until tonight.”

“Oh, let me imagine.” When you left, Daryl was also on his feet again. Carl grinned as he looked at him. “I bet you would have loved to stay here longer.”, he laughed. Daryl didn’t speak to anyone the rest of the day, blocking any interaction. The next morning should just start, so he could forget what happened in this place and they could all move on…

As you all found a boat later in the day, it was perfect. Big enough to accommodate you all, but not too much to be attacked and defeated. It was old and dirty enough that you could even think it was abandoned and useless. It was a boat for tourists. It was six or seven meters wide and about thirty meters long. Outside there were some rows of seats that didn’t need much space. In the covered area there was a tiny bar, four tables nailed to the floor, and separately the helmsman’s cabin. Downstairs, usually closed to tourists, there was the engine room and a cupboard. There was room for everyone, although privacy wasn’t really the strength of this ship. The keys were nowhere to be seen, so Daryl set out to find a solution. He set to work while the others searched for useful things for the journey. For a while, you looked around the deck and glanced at Judith and Michonne. It had been twenty minutes since Daryl worked on the firing mechanism, accompanied by Carol. When you came in, he was lying on his stomach under the bridge, while Carol looked at him with the usual pragmatic expression, without much understanding. “Give me the star screwdriver.”

“Here.” The man fiddled for a moment and then held him back to Carol. “Too large.” You, who now knew the tools, took him and looked for another toolbox. You added some electrical vices and an insulating tape. “Here.” When Daryl heard your voice, he stopped working. You backed away from the stairs, Daryl lowered his eyes and left the room in a disturbing way, followed by an attentive look from Carol. “Need something else?”,the woman asked without pausing to look at you. “Not at the moment.”

“I’ll be right back.”, Daryl said and left. You had removed the beige jacket from your waist and put it under your knees. “He must have been a special person.” You looked up, identified Carol’s gaze, then looked back at the jacket. “Is that so obvious?”

“As long as he was important to you…”

“He was… He is…”

Carol sighed. “I know this pain, you’ll wonder if you can do something to save that person, and the answer you’re almost certain will not be reassuring…”

“Will it stay that way forever?”

“I know it’s going to get weaker and weaker, but you will not forever fall into mourning, you’ll find other reasons to survive, other than survival itself.”You couldn’t help snorting. “Just because I’m alive, I didn’t choose to live.”

“You decide to accept Rick’s help, and you’re part of that group, this family… These decisions are up to you, you decide when you want someone in your life.”, Carol said smiling, walking away and you followed the woman with your eyes until she disappeared.