You leaned in front of the tied man and played with the hook you held in your hands. You paused and turned the hook back to your palm. “You and your group are bastards, plunderers, men who murder, rob, and rape survivors, and you deserve it much worse than what we did to you.”

The man spat, but most of the saliva landed on his chin, the rest stopped a short distance from you, but didn’t reach you. “Damn bitch, we should have killed you as we could!”

“Tell us where the others are and you will die instantly and without pain.”, you replied unimpressed. “If you think I believe your nonsense…” You turned around and ignored the rest of the sentence. “What are we going to do with him, Daryl?” The man standing in the corner of the room with his hands resting on his crossbow, listened quietly. At that moment, he understood how you had survived all those years in such a world. You seemed so nice and innocent, but if someone made you angry, it was better not to get in you way or you would regret it and pay with your life. Besides, one should hope to be quick enough, because if you found that person, you would have no mercy and no peace. “I’m not for killing him, I’m just for cutting off his balls.” You turned back to the prisoner. “He’d just cut them off, y'know… Personally, I’d like to let you die slowly, in a bed, tied up, if you lie there and I leave you there for a few hours, you will not feel your legs anymore. After a day, you want to tear your spine out and you want to tear your aching, cramped back to pieces.The restraints will give you injuries to your knees, hips and elbows and I’ll bind your hands behind your back, until your shoulders dislocate. After a week, if you’re not already dead, which you’re likely to be because you’re dehydrated, the Walkers would fetch you, and because you can not move, you’ll have to watch them how they eat you alive.” You were deadly serious when you looked him in the eye and the dry manner in which you recited these sentences shook both men in the room. “Don’t think I’m lying, I hate you with all my heart.”, you said with an ironic smile. The man seemed to read in your eyes that you were really serious. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he was going to die. They had you, the man and the boy surrounded like wild animals… Now you retaliated and he knew that he deserved every second of his torture. It was worth it to die as painlessly as possible. He swallowed and felt a drop of sweat run down his temple. “I was in a motel, a few miles from here, along the highway…”

“Why did you imprison us both, what did you want to do with Daryl?”

“We don’t kill anyone. We all bring them to our leader, then he decides what to do with them… or what they are useful for…” You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” The man nodded and looked away for a second, something like shame darkened his face. “In the case of men, whether to kill them or keep them in the group, as a resource, for supplies. We keep the women. Everyone…”Daryl stepped forward, his eyes angry and his jaw contracting. “How did you defend this place?” You spent the next few minutes interrogating your prisoner and receiving various useful information. Daryl dismissed him and said to you: “The honor is yours.” You leaned on the hook to get off the floor, and then held it, you didn’t hesitate for a moment. “Bye-Bye, Asshole.”, you said, ramming the hook through one of the man’s eyes.

The plan wasn’t exactly what it was meant to be, not that Daryl Dixon was sorry to help these women in a motel run by a group of madmen from the outside world. But he did not imagine he’d be in the middle of a minor social revolt when he and you arrived at the motel in the early morning, they had the men standing on shabby, rusty cars and a couple of motorbikes… The only one left was a big-bellied man with a long beard and a faded cap lowered over his forehead. You hid behind a large billboard with Daryl watching the motel and turned to face him. “Okay, let’s kill those assholes and then let’s talk to the trapped women, we’ll tell them we want to help them escape and in return we ask for some supplies, it seems fair, don’t you think?”

“It seems to me that we risk more than we deserve.”

“Daryl, we can’t leave them there.”

“And I didn’t say that.”, the man had snorted and put an arrow in the crossbow. He had no time to trigger the mechanism when the sound of a shot filled the air. “What the hell…?” His eyes immediately fell on the man with the hat. He was lying on the ground and a bloodstain spread on his chest. A second shot, which suddenly sounded, hit him in the head. Daryl wanted to tell you to leave, as soon as possible, when the cold barrel of a pistol on his neck made him jump. He froze, dropping his crossbow to the floor and slowly raising his hands. “Well, I see you’ve already figured out what’s expected of you.”, said a female voice behind him. Tied up, gagged, handed over to several angry women who looked at him. Daryl consoled himself with the fact that you were no better off than he was, just because you had a pair of breasts. You didn’t fare better.

There was a lot of work around them. The women here at the motel could walk from the gas station to the bar and the front desk, without having to risk stepping into the parking lot. They had their weapons stowed in a closet after stealing a key from the man who was shot earlier and now in his condition didn’t have much to say. The windows had been barricaded with wooden boards so that only a small gap was left to aim with a weapon. When everything was ready, the leader turned to the two invaders. You and Daryl. “Looks like you came here at the wrong time.” She came in slow steps closer, the eyes of all her companions on you. She approached Daryl, pulled out a knife and approached his face dangerously close. The man didn’t go away but kept eye contact with the woman’s eyes. She seemed to change her mind. So she turned to you and cut through the cloth with which she had closed your mouth. “Did HE send you?”

“I don’t know who you mean.”, you replied monotonously. “Of course… That’s bullshit, he’s known for a long time that we’re done with him and those other bastards. He guessed something!”

“We came because we thought you needed help in exchange for food, we killed some of these men and one of them said where they came from, we didn’t want to hurt you.” The woman thought about those words as you looked around. “They will stay here until we’re done.”, the leader said and turned to two girls. “Put them in the closet.”One of them hesitated… “But… Boss, they will not be able to breathe there for long, we don’t know how long it will take, it could take hours and they would choke.”

“I don’t care, this is the only opportunity we have.”,the woman said louder and turned to all her companions. “If we don’t make it today, they’ll let us pay for it, you know how it works!” The women exchanged a worried look among themselves. Finally, they seemed to decide that it wasn’t worth the risk for two strangers. They approached you, grabbed you under the armpits and started pulling you away. “No, wait!” You turned to the leader. “We’ll help you get rid of them, you will not be able to do it alone.” The woman stopped and the others did the same. You turned again to the leader, a mixture of fear and anger on your face. “You probably don’t know all how to use weapons, your aiming and sighting is very bad, you may not be able to kill them, not even with all the bullets you have and if you could still kill them, the Walkers are attracted by the noise. There are several small herds in this area, they would defeat you all.” Some women started whispering to each other. The leader glanced at her companion first, then looked back at you. “What the hell makes you think we can not use weapons?”

“You had to shoot a stationary target twice to shoot it in the head, you can see right away that you’re not used to holding a pistol or rifle, and if those men don’t kill you, it’ll be the Walkers. Let’s help you, we’re good at shooting, I can shoot a Walker ​​in the head from a distance of many yards, Daryl is an archer too, his crossbow doesn’t even make a sound, it wouldn’t attract too many Walkers.” You remained uncertain with your eyes wide open, waiting for the verdict. “Deal.”

“You’re a terrible speculator, that’s the best deal I’ve ever made.”, you smiled and put your weapons in a bag while Daryl filled a backpack with canned food. “It wasn’t that hard.”

“They all had no experience.” With a slight frown, you closed the bag and placed it in a corner of the double room you were given this night. The leader said you both could rest there, but you had to leave the next morning. “Where are you going?”,Daryl asked, looking up in your direction. “I’d like to get some water, and I’d like to do some washing, and the leader told me that there’s a small pond near here and you don’t know how long ago I’ve been able to wash myself.”, you smiled and opened the bathroom door. “Did you see, when do we get the chance to have a bathtub, you know how rare it is today.” Daryl has also dropped his bag on the ground. “Fine. Then it’s my turn, now only cigarettes are missing.”

“Ask the boss of these women. There’s a sort of warehouse here, sure they’ll have some left over.”Daryl followed the advice and walked over to the leader, who was about to go together with the others and he immediately got the last packet of cigarettes and went to smoke a cig, away from the noise, his crossbow at his side and under the clear sky that opened above him, it was a nice day, later he whirled around in the small shop and put provisions in his pocket. A knife for Carl and a doll for little Judith. Finally, he was shown the small pond and he went to fill two large buckets, thinking that you were done with washing in the meantime. He went the way to the room, the buckets lost a few drops of water on the floor behind him, and he had practically arrived when he suddenly stopped, the first instinct was to look away and Daryl turned, the buckets still in his hands as he took a few steps back. Through a crack of white curtains he could see you in front of the mirror, wearing only your underwear. He thought about making himself felt, not letting you know that he had seen you and that you could dress before he entered. But his eyes fell back into the room. You examined your body in the immediate vicinity of the mirror, touched your wounds, and then looked critically at your body again. You put your palms on the curves of your breasts, on the belly, on the sides and the upper part of your thighs. You then turned around and Daryl could see the many bruises and injuries. For a fleeting moment as you touched, Daryl imagined his hands touching you. He would have put his hand on your cheek and then slowly slid down your neck. He thought of the feeling of soft skin under his palms… Daryl suddenly had to cough slightly and walked the few remaining meters to reach the door with a heavy step. “Y/N, open the door!”

“Give me a second!”, a loud call in the room warned him. When he opened the door, you wore the same old ripped pants and a shirt you had found somewhere. Your hair was wet, hanging loose on your shoulders, and you did nothing to keep the water from falling to the ground and your clothes. Daryl couldn’t help but notice that you wore no bra, almost thrilled with the situation. Instead of the harmonic curve formed by the bra, he could see the tips of your nipples touching the fabric of your top. “I guess you’re clean enough.”, he said sullenly and avoided your eye contact. He closed the bathroom door behind him, slammed it harder than he wanted, and when he was there he set the buckets on the floor and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. It wasn’t the first time he had felt attracted to a woman, certainly not. But it was the first time since it all started. His brother Merle always made fun of him. He didn’t often find a girl he liked. Of course, Merle hadn’t been a gentleman, he’d walked around the bars just to say, ‘This is my little baby brother!’ What worried him about you was generally acceptable. It was the general context that angered him. He didn’t want to make any stronger connection with anyone than he needed. He was in his own group and for that he thanked them, because the group also consisted of individuals like Glenn whom he knew from the beginning. And yet he knew he was clinging to them like he had never done except with his brother Merle. He couldn’t stand a stronger bond with someone else. The risks were too high, 'cause death was the beginning and the end of every day. Life with the fear of losing one of the members of the group, of his now family, was unbearable. Daryl didn’t dare to imagine the fear of losing a person who he loved more than his current family. Maybe it was selfish of him… But he did it for himself so he wouldn’t have to suffer any more. But at least he had a bit of self-respect, so he should be grateful for that… Daryl threw one bucket of water into the tub after the other. He undressed, plunged in, and lit another cigarette. He sat thoughtfully for a long time, enjoying the sharp and stinging smoke on his palate until the water made his fingertips shrivel. He thought too much, that’s his problem.

You slept in your bed and was turned with your back to him. You had closed the door and the windows, and a pistol stood out from under your pillow. A knife lay not far away on the bedside table, and the faithful machete leaned against the wall beside the bed. Daryl looked down at your figure, your hips barely palpable under the covers, and your face under the Y/H/C hair as beautiful as the starless night. He couldn’t do it. Everything he had imagined in the past few days was a big nonsense… He just had to try to think further about what was right and what was not.