Nick had noticed the looks his mother had been throwing at him for some time. Several days had passed and all the survivors on the ship had become seriously worried. After all, there was his sister in this group and Travis. And even if it sometimes seemed a bit ignorant, Rick was there too, and surely he would never have wanted something to happen to him, just like Michonne. And then there was Daryl… He could get shoot in the head, have an arrow stuck in his ass and maybe even burn and Nick wouldn’t mind and care less about him. But of course he didn’t want him to die… Nick was also suggested for a small research mission to make sure they weren’t in trouble. Carl, Glenn, you, and Carol had stood up as a group to Madison’s words, saying, “I’ll come with you.” Madison, who had taken the word of a commander, prevailed in the usual manner, a firm tone but with a serene background, deciding that they shouldn’t all go.

“Me, Carl, Nick and Carol, the rest of you stay here, you have to take care of Judith and the boat and nobody should stay alone.”

“But, Madison -…”

“No Y/N, you stay here.” Her voice had been so rough you didn’t dare to answer. You had always been respectful to her. Because the decisions of this woman were never made by chance. You had turned on your heel and disappeared. Your lips twisted into a grimace. The group had been on the road for a while, with Nick and his mother in the lead, Carl and Carol not far away. Madison had purposely tackled Nick so she could talk to him without being heard. And the boy knew that she would do it as if she was trying to find out about his acquaintances or what he had done. They were still visible at a distance of a mile, but they couldn’t be bypassed.

“What’s wrong?” Tired of being questioned and being watched with that insistent gaze, Nick looked at her with dark eyes. He wasn’t very convinced though. His mother was one of the few who couldn’t be intimidated by this look, reserved for those he didn’t want to talk to.

“You should talk to Y/N.”, the woman said bluntly. For a while the boy was quiet. “No. And it’s none of your business anyway.”

“I know, I just think it’s a shame you’re ruining your friendship just because you’re so stupid.”

Now, Nick decided to keep silent all the time.

“Nick, I’m not a sociologist, but you’d have to be blind not to understand what happened, just think that you don’t deserve this hate just because she’s kept up with her life.” At this, the boy suddenly turned to her. “No!”

“Y/N did what she had to do to survive, so she went on and found someone else on her way.”

“She replaced me.”, he said bitterly. Madison snorted. “Nick, don’t be an idiot now, we all knew what was going on between you two, don’t tell me that it was true love, she didn’t replace you because Daryl Dixon isn’t her boyfriend, she found a companion and she had the right. I don’t know what I would do if I had lost Travis, I don’t know what we all would have done.”

Nick kept walking, his eyes lost in the dense vegetation. He hated listening to his mother’s sermons. Especially when it came to the people around him. Somehow, Madison could make him weigh up every single action, as if everything he had done until then was stupid.

“Nick! Madison!” Carl waved in her direction, not far from Carol he looked around the ground, obviously looking for something. The boy had found a backpack that Madison immediately recognized as Alicia’s. “There are hints!”, he said pointing to the grass. Carol put her hands in the backpack and pulled out some scattered medicines, a few syrup bottles, and a tube of toothpaste. “They had found supplies and toiletries.” She looked over her shoulder, where the footprints were still fresh. “They certainly wanted to go back, but something stopped them.”Nick reached out and picked up the backpack. “Let me see, it may be, but it doesn’t have to.”

“Why?”

“Maybe it’s not the right antibiotics, I explained Alicia exactly what to look for, maybe they simply lost her as they continued.” The boy picked up the medicine and read the name of the it. “No, you’re right, they’re the right ones, they came back.”

“Something was wrong and they had to leave…”

Carl leaned over the ground and ran his hand over the damp grass. “We can follow the trail, I know how.” He looked at Carol and asked for help. “Daryl taught me.”

Nick snorted at these words; He was just raising his eyes to the sky, but the look Carol gave him was enough to make him regain control of himself, and he realized he was in the minority. Apparently everyone worshiped this Redneck with the crossbow and snorting wouldn’t help him, because he would even put him in a worse light than others.

“Let’s go!”, said the woman, reaching Carl and joining him. Madison followed them and behind them was Nick, with a lazy step. They walked silently for a while, but rather quickly. Carl went fast, sure, almost thrilled. “The tracks are clear, here’s a sign that they got through here.”, he said, pointing to a hint on the floor that Nick barely noticed.

“How can you say that they were and not the infected?”

“The Walkers are lighter, very sluggish and repetitive, which is very easy to read, if you know what to look for, but it looks like a lot more…”

“Okay…” Nick looked around and began to search for hints and signs of the passage of the group. Carl was right, they were many, even he started noticing it and he wasn’t thrilled. Slowly a warning light flashed behind his eyes, at first weak, then brighter. There was something he missed, but it was right in front of him. He stopped in the middle of the road, the backpack resting on his shoulder and his eyes lost in the grass. Carol went to him and felt that his mother was beyond him and barely touched him. The boy leaned forward and reached for a smoked cigarette. She was still warm.

“Wait a minute.” He didn’t answer and turned around. And at that moment an alarm siren sounded inside.

“Mom!”

Nick threw the stump back on the floor and walked to the others. It was no coincidence and he was stupid enough not to notice it. He hadn’t seen Daryl smoke a cigarette for weeks, those tracks were so visible and the backpack was overturned…

“Mom!” He started to run, but just before he rounded the path he heard rifle fire, it was more by instinct and experience that he jumped off the path and quickly hid among the trees, throwing himself in time behind a dense bush. He heard some screams, then silence and confused footsteps, then a scream that came closer and closer.

“Not all of them are it yet, but I think only four are missing.”

“Four are no problem.”

“After all, better than thirteen.”

From a crack in the middle of the bushes, Nick saw a thick man with unkempt beard and sunglasses, pointing with a sawed-off shotgun on his mother’s back. Madison didn’t move, keeping a stubborn look on her face, as if the man behind him was a child who had to endure without even paying any attention to it. He was equally surprised by Carol’s attitude, visibly nervous and with tears in her eyes. She moved uncomfortably, maybe they had done something to her. But then he noticed the looks around him and he knew the woman was looking for him. He also noted that she was pretending to be afraid. Not far from them was Carl, held by a third man.

“I can go alone.”

“I think so, kid, you would run so much to stumble into your beautiful boat, it’s a pity that it will soon be our beautiful ship.”

“If you think it’s so stupid to run away while I have a rifle on my back, then you’re the idiot.”

His companions laughed with enthusiasm and he twisted Carl’s arm, screaming with pain.

“Go and shut the fuck up!”

Nick crouched even more into the bushes as he saw the men approaching and didn’t move until their footsteps faded and eventually disappeared. He sat down on the floor, holding Alicia’s backpack like a stuffed animal in his arms. It was clear that they had lured them into a trap, and they had fallen for it without even smelling it. These men had long ago thrown an ace on the group: They knew they had a boat, they probably knew where they were and they knew how many they were. At least the rest of the group had an advantage: They thought that those in the boat were unaware of the impending attack. Nick would immediately return to the river to warn the rest, together they would think about what to do. They have always done that. Someone attacked them and they tried to defend themselves. The boy began to run and rearrange the confused ideas. Suddenly his stomach twitched at the idea that his whole family, the bandits, were at the mercy of a bunch of assholes as far as he could see. The first thought was of course for Alicia and his mother, but also turned to Travis. He’d been burying himself in his mind for some time now, it was automatic to think of them all as the core of his family, as only blood relatives once were. The family no longer consisted of those with whom one shared DNA, but with whom one shared his meager meals, battles against Walkers, against other people, against death… Nick made a half-resigned and half-desperate gesture. For a moment he thought he had to go to Y/N to tell her that Daryl was probably dead. He thought about how he would feel guilty about the thought. He loved Y/N just as he loved Alicia, his mother, and Travis, and as he thought about how he had committed himself to preventing any form of happiness, his guts tightened. The boy snorted and ran his hand over his tired face. He got up, threw his backpack over his shoulder and ran in the opposite direction of the kidnappers, heading for the ship.

You lowered the binoculars and threw it on the deck. It made a dull noise that angered you and you wished it hadn’t. You didn’t like being seen angry, it seemed to you that people looked at you like you were crazy when you got angry. Fortunately, Glenn and Maggie were in the cab to take care of Judith. She slept all day and Maggie was happy at first that Judith was asleep, but then she got used to waking up at night and waking everyone who slept only a few meters away with her vocal power. However, there was someone watching your scene. You turned as you heard a broken moan behind you and saw Judith at the threshold of the stairs below.

“Hey Judith…”, you smiled, got up and took the little girl on your arm. “Do you know there’s an excellent hot broth for you, fish, of course.” Judith, still pale and tired, cowered in your arms and began to play with your hair. “Daddy?”, she asked, looking around.

“I’ve already looked after him…”

You approached the balustrade again, glancing briefly at the trees that rose like a thick wall after a few meters of sandy shore. “What do you say, should I apologize?”

Judith didn’t bother to answer, instead she continued to play with your hair. You sighed. “You’re right, it’s my problem.”

You sat in silence for a moment and then picked up the child in front of you as if making an important speech. “It’s probably my fault, do you understand? I could handle things better, I didn’t know how to behave, but maybe that’s not a final apology, right? I don’t know how to act… Unless you’re considering what Nick’s up to and I’m not being honest with him or with myself. Do you understand?”

Judith’s face was so serious that you tried to persuade yourself she understood everything. Maybe she understood even more than the others had. Too bad that she wasn’t old enough to explain the theory of the universe and explain the meaning of life to them.

“I!”, the little girl screamed suddenly and leaned forward so that you were afraid to drop her. The girl turned to the bank and saw Nick running to one of the small boats that lay on the ground. He threw in a backpack and pushed the boat off. You looked up and saw him. He jumped on the boat and began rowing in your direction. You could see that hectic, tense expression on his face, the same he had when there were serious problems. “Nick!”

Judith’s scream made you react. You placed the child on the ground and ordered her to stay at a safe distance so that she had to sit on the deck, away from the balustrade. You leaned forward and ran your hands over the parapet. You were sure that Nick didn’t bring good news, you could only hope that they were the kind that could be solved. “Where are the others?”

“No idea!” When he reached the ship, the boy threw the backpack on board. This made a perfect landing and landed in the middle of the bridge. Then Nick grabbed the rope you had lowered and hauled himself onto the boat. In the meantime, Maggie and Glenn had left the cabin. “Are you all back?”, Maggie asked. The look of disappointment that came to her face when she saw Nick alone offended the boy.

“It’s just me.”, he repeated. He picked up the backpack from the floor and went down to the small kitchen they had available. “They have them, they come for the boat.”

“Who?”

Glenn and Maggie and you, holding Judith by the hand, followed. Meanwhile, Nick had taken some pills and split them into quarters. He put the pill in aluminum foil and then began pounding it with a meat tenderizer. “This group probably had Rick and the others and held them until we looked for them.”

“How did you escape?”, Maggie asked.

“I was left behind and I heard shots, so I hid myself and came back here.” The boy turned to you, put the piece of foil in his hand and pointed at Judith with a nod. “She should eat something, then give her that with water, it should do her good.”

Nick paused, his hands on his hips, and his gaze seemed lost. Moments passed before he returned. “They come for the boat, they have the rest of our group and they know how many we are and where we are.”

“So… what do we do?”, you asked in the round.

“Do you know how many there are?”, Glenn asked.

“No, but it may not be many, if they’ve been waiting to empty the boat before they attack, that means they don’t have enough men to fight us all, but with us as the rest, they can handle it…”

“Can be, and they know we’re four, plus a kid?”

“I don’t know, maybe they don’t know I’m here.”,Nick said, eyeing Judith.

“Then we will not involve Judith.”

You nibbled on your lower lip and thought feverishly. “They’re going to get on the boat, we can’t stop it, we need to be sure they will not hurt anyone and possibly not take our boat…”

Nick had a dark, sometimes disturbing look on his face. He met his eyes with none of those present and instead fastened himself on a spot of old blood on the ground.

“I have an idea, but we have to work fast.”