Welcome To Mexico
Pretty Way To Die
The Female Resistance Movement
Ofelia Salazar
Dead Or Alive
Enjoy The Little Things
Reasons To Survive
Disappeared In The Sea Of The Living Dead
Survival Is Essential
Hesitating In Making Decisions
Guilt And Anguish
Not Dead But Less Alone
Love Leads To Rivalry
Cheated And Replaced
Four Are Better Than Thirteen
Dying Love
Not Resignation But Acceptance
We Will Survive This Life Together
Guilt And Anguish
You preceded everyone and were in a bad mood. Maggie had tried to talk to you, but you had only answered with a grunt. Encouraged by Madison, who knew you well enough, Maggie thought you understood it wasn’t the time to talk. You sensed that the group behind you looked at you as if you were a wild animal, a creature willing to kill them when they least expected it, with little dignity and even less honesty. That was the common thought and, above all, the thought of Daryl. You imagined how he looked at you suspiciously or worse, disgusted. For a moment, you were discouraged, things happened way too fast. You thought he was hurt, but it wasn’t even his fault if Nick had come back so suddenly from the world of the living dead. Still, you couldn’t just push Nick away, telling him you’d replaced him with a livelier model while he wasn’t there, leaving ignorant. On the other hand, you had no real relationship with Nick, you were more than just normal friends. You could not explain yourself your feelings… Nick had missed you and you had missed him, but you couldn’t ignore it, the feelings you felt for Daryl, something beyond friendship and a physical relationship.

“Y/N…”, Madison’s voice was heard behind you.

The idea of ​​leaving Nick was terrible. Not so much as you would feel, but what could happen to him. The truth was that Nick was a person who was too sensitive, drifting with events like the flood without fighting them, and often this flood took him to insecure places. He risked drowning every time and you didn’t want to be responsible.


On the other hand, you couldn’t treat Daryl so unfairly. He did not deserve it, you just didn’t want him to suffer. On the contrary, you wanted to be supportive, to stay with him, even in the biblical as well as platonic sense, you admitted. You couldn’t ignore the knot in your throat as you remembered how you slowly moved away from his life. He didn’t talk to you anymore, almost didn’t look at you. It was unbearable…

“Damn! Y/N!”

“What!” You turned around. Madison watched the body shatter beyond recognition beyond her feet. You followed her eyes, gave Maggie an angry look, and brushed your hair away from your sweaty forehead. “Yes…”, you cleared her throat, “I’m coming.” Madison watched you walk past them without saying another word. “It’s still a mile away, judging by the map, at least.”, you said after a few minutes. You all went to a small shopping center and hoped to find more food, things for Judith, as well as some medicines and antibiotics. A few days earlier, Madison had seen a billboard pointing to a mall a few miles away. It was a long way from your itinerary, so you all had suggested stopping for one day and driving there to raid supplies. Maggie had offered to go with you and so did Carl. Daryl had thought for a moment and decided not to leave, spending more than a full day with you and Nick in the immediate vicinity. He couldn’t stand the sight of you two together. Not even a second after Daryl had confirmed that he would go with them, you had come to them: “I’m coming too.”

Daryl had turned to face you with a murderous look.

“No, you should-…”

“I don’t care what you say.” you responded determinedly, ignoring his eyes. And now you are here. A happy company that embarked on a shopping day. It would have been nicer if the main entrance hadn’t been circled by the living dead. “Let’s go in from the parking garage.”, Daryl said after lowering the binoculars. “What if the Walkers are there too, we’d have trouble seeing them in time.”, Madison said.

“The parking garages of these places are hard to reach, sometimes there are gates, the entrances are closed, we can cross them, they can not, and then there will not be many.” You all headed for the first available ramp. As Daryl said, the parking lot was almost deserted. There were not more than a few scattered Walkers near a railing that blocked the entrance to the parking lot. You killed them without difficulty, then began to use a pair of pliers to cut the metal wires of the grid. You were in less than fifteen minutes, avoiding a few small groups of undead. You were not the first to choose this place as an offer or as a base, which was clearly visible. It was as if a dark cloud had passed over the area of ​​hygiene products and pharmacies, but left the children’s ward intact. There were only a few Walkers who went for a walk here and there, but luckily the place was quite deserted and so large that you heard it coming far away. Your towed footsteps echoed against the high ceilings. Carl stopped in the vicinity with some books in his hands. They were untouched. No one had ever moved one of them. You were happy about how the boy liked to read. Occasionally he would ask for explanations about this or that band, about a writer or a historical epoch, but his new mentor had definitely become Travis. You had sometimes studied ancient cultures, but had to attend the literature class and take an exam. You liked remembering those hours and talking to Carl about it, as if he had also remembered someone else’s life. But with Travis it was a different story. A true teacher, as well as one who loved his job. You were glad that Carl had found a refuge and someone to talk to. He needed something to remember that only survival isn’t always the most important thing.

“What are you recommending?”, the boy asked, putting his hand on the edges of the books. You studied the titles and eventually took out one of the books. “How about this?”

He bit his lip and took it in his hands. “I don’t know…”

“It may sound hard, but it’s the same with all the classics, we read them, we’ll never understand them to the end, but in the end, they leave something behind.” You smiled encouragingly at him.

“I spoke to Daryl the other day, saying it’s the most useless book he thinks exists.”

The smile suddenly disappeared from your face. “Well then… I suppose that’s because it’s the only book he’s ever read, if we can put it that way.”, you snapped, tearing the book out of Carl’s hand and throwing it into a pile of some other books. You tried to calm down. You hadn’t come to argue with everyone or to prove that you were annoyed.“And what would you like to read?”

Carl went to a shelf along. “I think the classic would be a good choice…”, he said and smiled at you. “Maybe something interesting, adventurous, something like that.”

“Okay, maybe not too repetitive…” You started looking through the shelves, “…How about this?”

“I’ve heard about it, but never read it.”

“And are you interested? It has an interesting plot, I can swear it. A completely unpopular context, but some hangouts. A crime committed by someone blamed for somebody else, for example.”

“But isn’t that from the reader’s point of view?”,Carl asked, frowning and turning the book to read the story on the back.

“Yes, but that doesn’t change the story, just how it’s told.”

In the end you convinced him. Carl put the book in his backpack and continued the exploration. Maggie filled her bag with rompers, bibs, towels, and milk powder. Not far from her, in a pharmacy, Madison rummaged for the last remaining antibiotics. She tried to open a few drawers behind the pharmacy table.

Daryl looked around. At the end of the corridor, a few Walkers trudged in your direction, but they were no real danger. “I’ll look for the warehouses, maybe we’ll find something to eat there.”, he warned the rest of the group before leaving. Madison nodded in response. Carl and you returned to the group, and when you heard those words, you stopped in the brightly lit corridor by the large windows on the ceiling. “I’m leaving, too.”, you said, starting to follow Daryl.

“Wait.” Carl wanted to follow you, but then changed his mind. Even Madison seemed to understand why. “You can help me with these drawers.”, she suggested to the boy when she saw him arrive. Carl looked in the direction in which Daryl and you had disappeared. “It’s getting better…”, he just said.

“What are you doing here? Go back to the rest of our group.”

“You don’t have to tell me what to do and what not.”

“Then you can at least shut the hell up.”

“Don’t. Tell. Me. What. To. Do.”, you repeated word for word, articulating the sentence as if you were talking to an idiot. Daryl said nothing more. He took a big step and walked to a small door marked 'Private! Only for staff.’ She was locked, so he leaned over the lock and began to break it open, patiently, with the point of the knife he carried with him. A dry sound warned him that he had succeeded.

“Wait.” Before he opened the door, you were kneeling beside him, one hand on the handle. You studied the keyhole and peered inside. “It looks empty.” You knocked on the door and waited a moment. No Walker had been attracted to the noise, so you opened the door.

“It does not look like a warehouse…”

You entered and stood in front of an empty long corridor pointing to the emergency exits.

“If things go wrong, we’ll end up at the manager’s office.” Daryl stepped forward and behind him trotted Y/N, desperately thinking about how to start this conversation without attacking him. The real reason you were there was to talk privately to Daryl. Unfortunately, the rage building up in you didn’t really help you. Part of you wanted to beat him, shake him, ask him what the hell he wanted. He understood that, he must have felt bad, but now he could stop being offended. You wouldn’t have solved the situation that way, and eventually you were too grown-up to have a temper tantrum. Daryl and you entered a large room with a very high ceiling full of huge parcels several feet high. Some were open, others had fallen down and their contents had spread to the floor. Nothing useful, as far as you could see so far. Probably the useful things were higher, the lower ones had already been stolen. A familiar growl made you both aware. One head of a Walker ​​peered up, the rest buried under several rows of pallets. Daryl grimaced. He hated it even more to see these creatures under these conditions. After all, they were once human beings. It wasn’t their fault if they had turned into stupid, hungry and miserable monsters. He killed the Walker by hand with an arrow from his crossbow. He pulled the arrow out of his head and wiped it on his pants and walked a few steps into the room. “These packages could be dangerous, they could fall on us like it happened to him.”, he said pointing to the dead man. You bit your lower lip thoughtfully. “We could create some kind of scale.” The man turned and looked at you perplexed. “We climb and have easy access to the top package.” You first made your way to the back of the warehouse. You found a machine for lifting goods nearby. It was one of those single-seated canary yellow gadgets, with two long iron axles jutting forward and the controls facing the driver…

“I hope you know how to drive one of them.”, Daryl said sourly. You crossed your arms over your chest, annoyed by his tone. “I have no idea.” The man said nothing and sat in the driver’s seat, apparently ignoring you. When chaos broke out, those who worked there hadn’t bothered to leave everything as prescribed by work, and one couldn’t blame them for this decision. Daryl switched on the machine and then began to study the switches and levers. In the end it wasn’t really difficult to operate the truck, even an idiot would have been successful. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that you were standing at a safe distance. Maybe you thought he was an idiot… He made his way and the vehicle began to move slowly. You were reassured by the relative ease with which Daryl had maneuvered the truck, so you approached and climbed into the moving machine, clinging to the iron frame. For a while you watched the man continue silently and then looked away. “It’s useless for you to behave like that, you know?” But Daryl still didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you know that you’re not going to make it easy for me.”, you continued.

“Maybe I could pretend that I was dying, so you have to decide.”, he answered suddenly. You rolled your eyes. Your patience was gone with these childish words. “What the hell is wrong with you!”, you shouted, putting a hand on the steering wheel and preventing Daryl from driving on. The man pulled his hands back as if he couldn’t even touch them, sighed annoyed, and stopped the machine. “Just to make it clear, this situation makes me fucking sick!” Finally, Daryl looked at you and waited for you to continue.

“Of course, I can not deny that, I told you that there was something between us and now I have to understand what that is, it’s useless to keep coming back from that! I just feel more confused than before, so please, can you stop behaving like a little asshole? Damn!”

Daryl took these words very carefully, looked at you from below and couldn’t help but think that even when you were angry, you looked beautiful… “Did you talk to him?”

You looked away and played with a thread that looked out of the hem of her top. “I… There was no reason so far.”

The man snorted. “Time is the only thing we have in abundance.” He rose slowly from the seat until he stood near the small machine he towered above. “You didn’t say why you don’t want him to know, now I’ll ask you a simple question and the answer is either yes or no.”

You looked him in the eyes and it was very difficult for Daryl to maintain that dry, authoritative tone. He looked like a scared animal, a prey suddenly in front of the attacker, terrified, baffled, and his heart beating a thousandfold faster than before. He was sure if he had put his hand on his chest, he would have felt how strong and fast his heart was beating. Part of him hated how you made him feel, but he was tired of waiting.

“You want to be with me?” You didn’t answer. Because you didn’t know the answer. You unconsciously bit your lower lip and continued to stare Daryl in the eye. He decided he had to find the answer himself. He leaned over and kissed you. Gentle and slow, a tender kiss. He stayed on your lips, waiting for what you would do, and in the meantime he stroked your cheek with the backs of his fingers. You closed your eyes and only when they were completely closed, you answered his kiss. You clung to his shirt, lost in the taste of his mouth, in the movement of your tongues, in the touch of his hands that slid over your back and pulled you to him. Daryl opened his eyes and didn’t let go, sitting down in the car’s seat and pulling you with him. You sat on top of him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You kept your eyes closed and loved the kisses of the man you fully enjoyed. Daryl’s eyes didn’t leave you for a moment. He looked from your neck to the furrow between your breasts. He stroked your cheeks and you smiled and started kissing him again. Something was wrong with this whole situation… Daryl didn’t understand what the problem was. He only knew that he was uncomfortable and didn’t understand why. His mind was clouded by your smile, your caresses. You had unbuttoned his shirt and kissed the back of his neck and Daryl couldn’t even understand that one plus one was two. He moistened his lips and squeezed your breasts. He watched your reaction, which closed your eyes and sighed. Suddenly you grabbed his hand and pushed him so far away that Daryl thought he had done something wrong. But then you looked at him with a wry look and started fumbling with his belt.

For a moment, a thousandth of a second, Daryl thought to stop you. He wanted to understand what it was and why, but it was there and he couldn’t ignore these feelings. But just before he reached the epiphany, you knelt between his legs and Daryl returned to the cloud where only testosterone ruled. He couldn’t even react when he saw you wiping your lips. You had to stop, he had to tell you to stop. But he kept his arms at his sides like useless appendages. Daryl, vaguely aware that your hair ended in front of your face every time you moved, stretched out his arms and brushed a few strands away from your face. You looked up as if to thank him and watching you from this pose made Daryl nervous. He grimaced and a muffled moan escaped his lips. Daryl put both hands on the shoulders of you and began to push you away, but you pushed his hands aside.

“Y/N…”, the man gasped. “Y/N, it’s enough.” He tried to push you away, but you took his wrists and held him tight. You understood that you were on the right path to bring him to orgasm, so you continued until he came, with his head back and his eyes closed. When you were done, you got up and wiped the corners of your mouth with a quick, gentle gesture. Most of the time, Daryl had looked at you, it seemed vulgar, but you had made him so nervous that he didn’t recognize vulgarity. Or maybe it was just that you were the one who did it, and none of you was uncomfortable, except for Nick… Without thinking too much, Daryl lifted you from the kneeling pose and let you sit in front of him, gently pushing your back so that your back rested on the dashboard. He leaned forward and started kissing you, then reflexively he put his hand in your crotch and began to stroke you. Your face drove him crazy. Your cheeks were flushed and your lips opened slowly. The moment he looked at you, your eyes were closed and you dropped your head slowly with a brief sob. Daryl began to move, first with slow movements, then faster. As his speed increased, his lunges became drier, his movements rougher. You began to moan, and the only thought that made you enjoy it made him startled again.

“Daryl…”, you called, looking into his eyes and bringing his face close to yours. “Please don’t stop…”

At that moment, he understood what was wrong. Of course it was too late to stop, besides he would never do it, it would have been wrong on his part and at least in this area he considered himself a gentleman. He liked to hear you moan, but he couldn’t ignore the uncomfortable feeling he felt. You fell panting on top of him and for a few minutes you both stayed that way. Finally, you leaned back to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek and then Daryl responded. He picked you up rough on the sides and slipped out of the car.

“Let’s go, now.” He wiped his hands on his shirt, and turned away to avoid your gaze. You looked at him impatiently. It took a little longer to get ready, but when you finally came down from the yellow truck and both forgot your mission, you approached Daryl with a steady gaze. “What’s wrong?”, you asked bluntly.

“One moment before everything was alright, I asked you if you wanted to be with me or not, and the next moment you do shit to me like that?”,Daryl replied. He leaned forward, his hands on his hips, careful not to let you pass until he finally got an answer. The man changed his style, the crossbow on his shoulder and his eyes all but rested on you.

“Come on, Daryl, I’m tired, I don’t want to interpret your behavior anymore, and then I should be the one to apologize for that?”

Daryl looked at you and this time he was angry. He stepped closer to you, but did not dare to come too close. “I ain’t one another of your fucking friends, is that clear?”

You were stunned. “But what, what do you mean?”

“Don’t make fun of me, don’t use me like I’m your fucking toy!” He moved as he made that little speech as if he was unable to stand still on his feet. Daryl didn’t stop for a moment to look you in the eye. “I wouldn’t do that to you!”, he said, leaving as he left you more guilty and agonizing than ever.

© 宮古 名無し,
книга «Fight The Dead Fear The Living (Daryl Dixon x Reader - Nick Clark x Reader)».
Not Dead But Less Alone