CONFLICT + SCREAMS
=
KILLED LOVE & PAIN
I'm tired of your reproaches that you take from nowhere,
I thought about affection and warmth when you told me to my face that you love me,
All scandals and tantrums give me migraines, is this what you wanted?
You don't hear my words that I'm trying to convey to you,
I just want to prevent another conflict,
And my parents with their scandals,
Badly affects on my mental,
All these screams with pain I find it hard to handle,
I've absolutely no reason to hate you,
All I ever wanted to do was help you to be happy,
I know I cannot change you, but I wish it didn't happen:
A detrimental mental breakdown for the psyche, someday it will break it,
I feel a headache with a heartache that only gets worse, I doubt this is healthy,
Why are you throwing mud at me behind my back?
How many lies have you told your naive friends?
All this burden with pain and disappointment makes me swiftly and deliberately approach my end,
Because my existence literally makes no sense...
Please let me just escape reality,
I'm not able to endure the pain while maintaining sanity,
You have no idea how it feels to me to feel
Like people who were dear to me before
Turn into my enemies,
It just turns out that I'm alone,
I'm alone with the pain I have to handle,
My hands shake with fear while holding the barrel,
I cannot sleep peacefully,
My hand is itchy and it wants to put the barrel of a gun to my temple...
Perhaps it would have ended this way,
If not for the fear of realizin' the magnitude of all the pain,
All my loved ones just pretended to care,
All those words that you said to me 'bout pure love simply turned out to be fake...
04.11.2021
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