Chapter 2. The Crash
'That was almost 12 years ago. You ask about an impossible thing. I only remember a tree in the middle of the road, in what we crashed into. That one which has disappeared when the police came. I know that I sound strange, but I was 4. As my previous psychologist said, "You were a child. You could invent this tree in your mind to have reason, why your parents died". After the crash I woke up in a hospital. I saw Mr Gilbert, he was my doctor. Mostly, because of him I survived. As he said "Everyone thought that you will die and there is no possibility to save you. But I wanted to save you. I don`t know why. I felt that someone make me save this little girl". He is still that weird, but he was always kind to me. After that he tried to tell me about my parents... I wasn`t ready for it. It almost killed me. I wanted to see them, but, as you understand, no one agreed. I was crying 3 days without a single stop. Mr Gilbert wanted to help me, but he couldn`t. Only time helped me. And medicines too. After a few days, Mr Gilbert said "Let’s go to my house. You will live with me only a few days and if you won`t like I will find another family for you. Okay?". Of course, I agreed he seemed so generous and friendly. I came to this "huge" house. I was living in a small flat with my family before the accident. What surprised me the most was his big family that didn`t look so great at the first sight. First one who I saw was John. He was 2 years old. His huge green eyes were looking at me just like I am an alien. The alien, who quickly became his best friend. We really became good siblings. But there was a person that hated me from our first second in one apartment. Her name is Tony. She is 18. We have an awful kind of relationships. That is the thing I didn`t get when I was a child. I`ve tried to change it but it seems worthless. She is just like her mom Alice who hates me and uses as a babysitter. For example, I was Jace`s nanny since I was 11. It was 7 years after I started living with them. Alice became a drunker that time. Now, he is 5, and I am still his nanny. I know that I should be grateful to that family because they helped me. I learn in a great school, I have a best friend Gracie Page. She is the only one I can trust. Do you want to hear something more about me, Mrs… I am so sorry. Can you say your name again?'
'Kate Asleen. Lily, your story is very heart-touching. Why have you decided to change your psychologist?'
She said that with a trembling voice that was about to cry, but she needed to stay professional. Lily liked the way psychologists look like when they hear a story of a poor goody with the worst living conditions. However, Lily didn`t think she belonged to the category. That`s why it was quite easy for her to tell the same story time by time.
'You are my 6 psychologist. Everyone before said that they cannot help me. Because they don`t want to waste their time as I don`t have any disease that can be cured. I am just sick of life and everything that has happened to me. You were founded by Mr Gilbert who really cares about me and it`s important for him me to see a psychologist.'
'Okay, I will work with you but you should promise me that you will always tell me what happens in your life. Do you agree?'
'Yes, I do.'
In fact, Lily has never lied to a psychologist. However, after the first 3 she has never told the whole truth. Like, when forgot about her birthday 4 years ago. She felt terrible about it. That`s the thing that every person can admit: If you don`t have lots of friends you care about them and try not to disappoint them while every bad word about you told by them can cause a huge pain. After that she acted like it was more than okay to the psychologist.
That is one of the easiest way to avoid pain to act like it didn`t happen. You do think that the pain will stop by itself but that never happens. Injury won`t go away just because you don`t notice it. The more time it isn`t cured the more it hurts.
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