'Why have you done it? Everything was bad but we could solve that problems. Why on the roof? Yelled Lily.
'It's been 3 months. And you still don`t talk to me.' Stated Mrs Asleen. 'I cannot help you if you would blame me for that.'
'I don`t blame you.'
'This way, you blame yourself that is even worse. It wasn`t your decision. You couldn`t help.'
'No, I could. I was the only one who was asked. And what did I do? Nothing!'
'Lily... How many of my patients have died this way? What do you think?' Complained Mrs Asleen and swallowed the saliva. 'Five! And I do remember each of them. That is even counted as normal if you work with teens. The last person I want to lose is you.'
'Why?'
'Because it would be fully my fault. Tom would never be the same as he was. He might lose his job and become drunker like his wife. John and Jace would be selling illegal things to survive and Tony can go mad. All of that would be because I haven`t stopped you.'
'I would never do it. I love Gilberts and they need my help. I know it so you don`t have to worry.'
'Conditions were too tough, and he thought that there is no other way.'
'Say that you wouldn`t blame yourself if you were me.'
'I am sorry, I don`t want to lie to you.' Answered distressed Kate.
'That was what I expected to hear.' Remarked Lily and went out of the office.
In the hall there was Mr Gilbert waiting for her. He looked so worried that Lily wanted to calm him down.
'How was it?' Asked Tom.
'I feel better. Really better.' Lied Lily.
'That`s so great.' Smiled Mr Gilbert and they went to the car.
'Would you mind if I go for a walk? I want to see someone.'
'Sure. I will wait for you at home. Don`t come too late.'
Lily wasn`t even close to state normal, but she needed some fresh air to clean her mind. She definitely knew the person who can help her.
'Good evening? Is anyone here?' Asked Lily when she saw a clean café with not even a single visitor.
'Luv, is that you?' Wondered Lucas.
'Of course it`s me. What have happened to the place?' Said Lily and hugged Lucas.
'The owner is a bankrupt now.'
'I am terribly sorry for you.'
'Never mind. What happened to my optimistic child?'
'I have caused a death of an innocent person.'
'Are you talking about Connor from your school? I`ve seen in newspaper that he made a suicide. There is no way of you causing it.'
'He trusted me and asked for help and I did nothing.'
'Darling, I know you. You`ve done what you could. Sometimes there is no way of helping person who has already decided what to do.'
'May I help you to clean up? Work will give me a chance to relax.'
'Sure, I need your help.'
'Maybe, you are the only one I can save.' Whispered Lily so Lucas didn`t hear.
Lucas turned on a music from his favourite musical he had asked Lily to watch many times before. It is called "Ballet dream". No critics loved that musical but it was exactly what Lucas needed to feel better. Sometimes right films can effect on your decision. That happened to Lucas and as he said he had never wanted to change it.
The next destination in Lily`s plan was the roof. Firstly, she didn`t want to come there but it has been so much time since the death, and she needed to do the next step of acceptance.
The roof was quite clean, and she had no idea why this pace haven`t been closed since the accident. The headmaster even didn`t talk to the students or made the appointments to the psychologist for everyone who knew him. Vincent`s locker was just changed to another one. God knows what they have done to it.
She was wandering around the place they have been sitting when she suddenly saw a piece of paper between bricks of chimney.
"Dear Lily,
Thanks for everything you've done for me. I really wanted to live but… It's not easy to explain. All I want to say is: I love you, Lily. I don't want to hurt you but I don't have choice. I don`t even understand the minute I started trusting you more than anyone. Maybe, I have just never met such an awesome person in my life.
Love,
Vincent O Connor"
Lily started to cry. That was the first time when she decided not to hide her feelings. She ran home and was crying in her pillow for the whole night. This time the pain was so big that she couldn`t pretend like everything is okay.
'Why? Why this all happens to me? What have I done to deserve such a bad life? I am tired of being strong. My childhood was awful because of a number of reasons. Firstly, Tony just hated me with no visible reason, than I became John`s and Jace`s nanny. I didn’t mind doing this, but I was 5! I needed childhood. Because of Mrs Gilbert`s drunks, I needed to became adult at the age of 7. And now my teen time when everything supposed to be great is even worse. I don`t want this to continue... There is just too much pain I have to deal with.'
On the next day Lily woke up and felt something strange. Just like lots of power overwhelmed her. It was really weird. She was still feeling pain, but she had a strength to go through this. Lily decided to go to school. Because it was first time, when she felt almost free from her problems. She went straight to the kitchen to make breakfast for all family. After a few minutes, Mr Gilbert came.
'Mr Gilbert, what are you wearing today? Is it Halloween? Why your wings looks so realistic?' Asked Lily.
'Lily, what are you talking about? Are you feeling sick?' Worried Mr Gilbert.
'Why your wing are so broken?' Thought Lily.
'You`d better to stay home today.'
'No, I am feeling perfectly.'
'Okay, but don’t forget to take Jace and John after school.'
'Sure.'
On her way school she saw so many white things on people`s back that looked like wings. However, she couldn`t touch even a single one of them. Lily quickly understood that others don’t see them. In school Lily wanted to find Racy but it was difficult to do it, so she went to headmaster to ask about it.
'Good morning, Mrs Kemp.' Greeted Lily.
'Hi, Lily. You may want to ask about Mrs Barker.' Said director.
'Yes.'
'She went to another school in another town and I don’t know exactly.'
'Why she didn’t tell anything to me?'
'I don’t know.'
Lily tried to contact Grace but everything was useless. Hope for the best was the last thing she had.